pregnant and feeling SO self-conscious...?

Question

i'm 20 weeks pregnant... needless to say my figure is not very "model friendly"... and to be very honest my husband has ALWAYS been into the "physical appearance" of women (yes i know, it's shallow). well, since i am now very obviously pregnant he is barely paying any attention to me. i'm embarassed to say that i'm now begging him for sex. any suggestions on how to make things better?

Answer 1

I wish my husband would leave me alone! He is very attracted to me being pregnant, and I'm the type that doesn't want to have sex (it makes me queasy). I digress...TALK to your husband. Tell him how he's making you feel. Pregnancy is beautiful. Perhaps he's not being shallow. He might feel that having sex with you might hurt the baby or he feels weird doing so with the baby right there. You never know until you talk to him. Make sure he knows how it's made you feel.

Answer 2

Yeah, I know how that feels. I was on the same boat, I am now 6 1/2 months pregnant and can feel your pain. Don't be so hard on your body though, don't think of it as it has been - rather that you are now taking care of a little baby inside, you are the ONLY person that baby has right now, it's self-sacrificial for you --- denying of the "self"---thinking about you and the baby is priority. The sex happens and will happen when it happens, I know it makes you feel frustrated and alone, especially now that you are expecting. uh!!! if we could slap some reality into them sometimes. I want you to know that it's ok, you're ok. I had a car accident 2 weeks ago with my mom, I thought I had lost the baby, I was in the hospital for a few days, and my in-laws and parents made me realize I have to take care of "ME & THE BABY!!!"- - - understanding that and passing the time as best as you can will make you stronger and fulfilled as an independant woman and mother. Your health is important and that baby jealousy will turn around in your husband, he will turn around, true love will last, and if not... (which we hate to think of)... then you will survive... "this too shall pass". You are not alone...

Answer 3

Please don't get nervous.Since you yourself admit that your figure now is not model-friendly do not worry overmuch if the hubby does not dance around you. This is common to all males and it has a surviival value also. It is always advisable to avoid sex during pregnancy. The union sometimes can get violent and may damage the uterus.With that thought always in the mind,even during sex,takes away some at least of the charm of the union. So do not 'beg' for sex. If the hubby does give you alms consider that he is too much of a gentleman and cares for you.Do nor run to the conclusion that he has always been interested in you only as a doll.Just sleeping near each other and caressing and fondling the pot belly gives all that indescribable joy of togetherness which is what matters. Sex is a particular form of togetherness.You must be knowing about the 84 postures that can be adopted during sexual union.All these are attempts to lend multiple dimensions to this together. The normal method tends to make the union dull.So don't worry ovemuch about the alleged frigidity of the hubby.Just take my word for it and prepare yourself for his onslaught once this little partition is out of the way.

Answer 4

You are carrying HIS baby. You are sacrificing 9 months of your life, your figure (temporarily) and dealing with all the aches and pains of pregnancy, and he is the one that put that baby inside you. He is the one with the problem. Pregnant women are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Just think of that beautiful child you will pop out in a few weeks. Besides, if you are not having sex, he is probably suffering more :-)

Answer 5

Have you talked to him? He may not be turned off at all but may thikn he's giving you your space because he knows you probably don't always feel well. But in the 2nd trimester comes the "horny" time for a lot of women, so he needs to know that he shouldn't back off or be scared and you should openly discuss it. A lot of guys are (in all seriously) scared that they are gonna poke the baby and/or hurt you. So you just need to explain that the cervix will only open up during delivery so he can't poke the baby - and as for hurt you - sex is definitely more uncomfortable during pregnancy, but that's when you try different positions, and remember the lubricant (not KY, too sticky).

So hopefully that's all it is. No matter what it is he should be able to calmly talk about it with you. And try to talk about it when you aren't in bed - then he'll feel pressured... I certainly wouldn't beg him for it - no need for that ever - but hopefully after having a heart to heart it will help.

Good luck and have fun :).

Answer 6

Extremely shallow! My husband thought my body was so sexy when I was carrying HIS children. I also have always been small and had a good figure, but he still though my pregnant body was great. He actually missed my little belly after I have our kids. Never be self conscious about your pregnant body. Be proud. And, if your husband doesn't like it, he needs to get a reality check. Tell him how this makes you feel! He should be respectful of your feelings and maybe he needs to look at his priorities!

Answer 7

1) YOU have to love who you are first. This is your body. The less secure you are of your body now, the more damage you're going to do to your body after the baby is born. Right now you're headed in the wrong direction. Learn to love your body. Buy some new underwear, night clothes, etc.

2) Have you talked to your husband about this? At 20 weeks you have only just begun! You need to address this NOW. He married you for more than just your looks. TALK TO HIM. Sit with him and discuss how you feel. You can't just let this go.

3) Love yourself naked. It sounds odd, but if you know how to love yourself naked, it doesn't matter how large you grow. Once you can love your body, you're going to love being you at any size.

I had a baby and gained 25 pounds, not bad...right? Our son is 14 months old and I am still 25 pounds heavier. It took me about 5 months to figure out how to love my body, but once I did I stopped caring about what anyone else though. I gave birth and I look great. I just got married and people say "God, you got fat!" While that hurt, you know what? I know I am gorgeous, and my husband reminds me daily. That's all that matters.

Answer 8

Forget your husband. Also some men are into pregnant women. All that aside, you are giving birth to a human life! Now is not the time to determine if you look pretty or not. Just try to get through it.

Answer 9

I have to say that is really sad to hear. A woman's body is so beautiful when she is pregnant. Your husband needs to respect and love your ever changing body. Sex should not be based so much on physical appearance when you are married it is a feeling. You are carrying his baby THAT is beautiful! I would accentuate your good points such as your growing breasts(they get bigger and fuller when pregnant) i guess.

Answer 10

Communication is the key. If one or both of you are uncomfortable opening up, I would say to seek a counselors opinion.

It is easy for everyone to tell you to "forget him", but I understand sometimes that is the hardest thing to even think about. Remember that you are about to be a mommy, and that is beautiful in itself.