What do you think about adoption?

Question

I want to adopt (one day) but I fear I won't love them as much if they were not my blood relative. Have you adopted? Are you adopted? Will there be less of a bond? Tell me anything!

Answer 1

you will never love an adopted child like your own. i'm not saying their will be less love but it will be different. adoption is great. those kids want parents more than anything. there will be no less of anything, just different. i am not adopted but my step father loves me like i was his own. my real father sends me money and buys me stuff when i want it. thats about it. but the step father is the one who raised me from 3 years old. he considers me his daughter. if you want children and you adopt, you will love them or you wouldnt consider adopting them.

Answer 2

Adoption is wonderful! I adopted my oldest child and I love him more than I can say. I bonded with him the instant I saw him (He was 5 days old). If anything had happened to stop the adoption after I had seen him I would have shriveled up and died. I am pregnant with my third child since I adopted my son and I can honestly say that even without 9 months of bonding during pregnancy, my bond with my adopted son was just as strong when I met him as it was when my biological babies were born. It is an amazing experience to adopt. I can't imagine someone adopting a child and not being able to bond with it as well as with a biological child.

I also think that it takes a lot of courage and selflessness on the part of the birthmother to place a child for adoption. Any mother who could so unselfishly care about the best interests of a baby over her feelings of grief at parting with it has great strength of character no matter what choices led her to that position.

One day when you adopt you will experience the greatest joy in your life. It is the same joy you experience when you give birth. When you care for a newborn baby (or any child for that matter) you are putting all your energy into loving them and caring for them. You can easily forget that you didn't create that perfect little child. I hope you get to have this great experience. Good Luck!

Answer 3

I grew up with 2 adopted sisters and 1 adopted brother.

Our parents loved us, but there was less of a bond between my siblings and my parents.

And my mom waited too long to have children .. and she really was too old for the rest of the bunch.

She adopted because she lost 3 or 4 other children before me and the drugs she took to have me were painful and dangerous.

Also she was 39 when she decieded that she wanted more kids than me and getting pregant was problamatic too

.. I was 4 at the time.

As she grew older and she had more than her standard difficulties some old country .. hateful .. ideas about children who were adopted because they were born out of wedlock (illegitimate) came out and were very hurtful.

Also .. the three were spaced 1 year apart .. which had them almost acting like triplets all acting in unison, all in diapers at the same time, reading at the same time, etc .. if there had been more space raising them might have been easier.

This true for natural born children and adoption. but adoption you can just go get the child where in the natural way you may or may not get pregnant for years. Not to say adoption is all that easy or cheap .. but I think and hope that you get my drift.

Later .. one of my sisters and my brother found their birth parents through the adoption agency. both had a good experience; not all do.

Both were shocked to see how they were alike to their birth families ..and so unlike my parents and me. to how to dress, foods, health problems. They both found the birth families easier to understand.

Still all and all it can be a good opportunity for the child and the parent. Just do it with your eyes open and with love.

Answer 4

I have had all kinds of experience with adoption.

First, my sister was adopted. From the moment my parents told me about her, it was understood that she was as much as "blood" as I was. That's how I was raised. That's how I feel.

Second, my wife was adopted. She came from a family where a younger brother was born into the family after they adopted because they were told they couldn't conceive. Her parents always reminded her that she was just adopted -- not naturally part of the family. When her mother passed away, she was left some but not nearly as much of the estate as the "true child" was.

Third, I helped my wife find her birthmother. She, too, was adopted. My wife's relationship with her birthmother is still developing but it will never be as strong as the relationship between the birthmother and the second daughter whom she kept.

Fourth, when my wife and I decided to get married -- we promised each other that we would expand our family only by adoption. We've done that once. We're now in the process to do it again.

On my dad's deathbed I promised him that I would (after the current adoption) adopt a son and name the boy after him.

Does it make a difference?

Yes... and no. The difference is in how you personally feel about the bond. My parents loved my sister and myself equally. My wife's parents obviously didn't. It's really what you want to make of this bond.

Answer 5

I'm not adopted nor have I adopted...I have a daughter. But I want to adopt tin the future. I think if you feel you love them and they know that that's all the matters. Whenever you raise a child blood or not you grow with them and become attached...kind of like when you have a pet you become attached to it and raise it even though it is not your own

Answer 6

I have a sister who is adopted from China. She is awesome and i love her dearly. right now she is barley 3 and im almost 20 but she will always be my sister. I would recommend adopting from China just because there is little or no chance that the parents come back for the child and only takes from start til you have the child about 2 1/2 years. In the U.S. it could take about 10 years and there have been alot of stories about the parents getting the child back.

Answer 7

I think you should do it. More children need to be loved so they can grow and thrive. It doesn't matter if they are blood related or not. Case and point, I was raised by my grandparents...i didn't find out that my grandfather wasn't my biological grandfather until I was almost a teenager...it didn't matter he treated my like I was his daughter and I felt very much loved by him more than by my own father....i hope that helps.

Answer 8

let me tell you my story!! i had 4 children already at age 24 .fisrt was born when i was 17yrs.old. and i was in a abusive rel;ationship..got out of it when my 4th child was born. met a wonderful man a year later..we got serious and got engaged and were celabrating at a local bar..well he had to leave for a few minutes to pick up his son from his previous marriage...and was gonna be back in 30mins. so i sat at the bar..ordered a pepsi while he was gone and i was waiting..well a went to the restroom came back..someone slipped a drug in my drink..thats all i remewmber..bits of pieces of being raped..had no idea where i was or who was with me..most of the time i was unconcious!!
well to make a long story shorter..i got pregnant by this rape!! i already had 4children..thought about abortion..went there..couldnt do it!! my engagement was now off cause he couldnt touch me anymore knowing i was raped and pregnant..he still stayed with me though!! i felt a hatred for this baby for months growing inside of me..was so affraid to see it on my first sonogram and when i fisrt saw her i fell in love with her!!me and my boyfriend eventally got married ..he is legally her father..kept it a secret from family..it turned out she was the best thing that happened to us!! to answer your question..YES you would love an adopted baby as much as your own!! i never KNEW i could love this little girl thia much knoeing she was from a rape!! oh my god if you could see the beauty this little girl brings into our lives everyday ..you would see God at his best!!

Answer 9

i believe that if you were to ever adopt then you would know which child is right for you. I'm sure that the moment you saw them you would know that you could love this child forever.


ps- IM BAAAAACK!!!!!

Answer 10

a child is a child, your love will come even if they are not blood related. you will be surprised when you hold that child in your arms and you can not imagine it any other way. they are a blessing.