trouble is i cannot complaint of anything.If i do then i will hurt them,if i don't i am hurting myself.i want to know how can i handle my emotionally much demanding hushband and my always instructing sasuma in a way not to hurt them or hurt myself?
help !!
2006-12-05 14:33:07 · 11 answers · asked by lik_on_edge 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
first step u have taken is to ask how to deal and its a good sign that u really want to be happy in your new environment without any problems... everyones family is different and their rules and regulations are different but love and care is common to all the families..so give ur love equally to all ...its tough if ur in a joint family with sasuma [ mother in law] controlling the home. make ur husband understand that u mean well and u want to make it work with him and his family and u need his support 100% to achive this ...boost his ego.. any of your your joint decisions should be one and the same so noone can come between you two...if the family is demanding your calmness and eagerness to show ' its your home too' will help even if you have to swallow your ego initially ... once you are r a friend to everyone its easier to deal, as you feel more confident... sasuma is used to running the home ... dont change it drastically ...make her feel important .. ask her to relax and go out more or do some social work and do her own things so that you get a breather or you can slowly take the house responsibility if you want to... if you are working too try to help whenever you can in the house... if you dont like somethings please talk it over in a nice way your displeasure so that they understand you r not happy ... be frank..there is nothing wrong in it if u mean well..... i know its not an easy thing to build a rapport with the hub and inlaws... but one has to give 100 % initially to achieve this so future may be secure for good relationship. all the best may god bless you and hope u will be a happy cheerful bubbly girl as u were before ..
2006-12-05 22:03:07 · answer #1 · answered by uma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do your best.
You cannot help anything else.
Your conscience will be clear, I suppose you are under you Satsuma's roof(mother in laws house or she has move in your home, you are in joint family situation can be fun, lots of love and affection for the children in most cases). So try and please her, do not give her the mouth.
When it come to instructions sit down with her and explain, you have your way and I have my way, let me please do it my way. I get nervous and confused doing any otherway and then I cannot do it right, you can enjoy seeing doing me my thing my way here a cup of teat/glass of water seat down and relax, we can chat about some thig on your mind, freely like mother and daughter. If you are tiered go take a nap I will wake up if you let me know when. If she is old enough take her to her bed.
If they are unbearable then as the saying goes "can not stand the heat, get out of the kitchen", do it amicable. You wil need the support of your husband.
Never burn the bridges.
2006-12-06 03:20:36 · answer #2 · answered by minootoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your going to have to hurt someone and you shouldn't always be hurting yourself. You need to stand up for things you feel really strong about. Lilttle issues that don't mean much let them go. You are the wife now and are a part of the family you took on that role when you got married so don't let yourself get so upset anymore stick up for yourself or you are going to begin to dislike them and they wil start to take advatage and become more demanding if the haven't already.
2006-12-08 02:56:43 · answer #3 · answered by BabyDolll128 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know what sasuma is could you be more specific, but try to make more time for yourself like I do , get books from the library and go to the bedroom and say you have a headache and read a book , escape from your problem, and have a little time for yourself.
2006-12-05 14:37:53 · answer #4 · answered by colbydog43 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have patience...its time which will make them realise your true worth.... after the marriage ,sons usually try to convince thier mom that thier love towards them has not reduced...so they neglect thier wife for some extent....but its not tht they dont love thier wife....give some time to your husband.....as far as mother in laws r concerned they just want thier daughter in law to take away the responsibility of the house....as they want some rest....everything will be alright with the passage of time....all the best.
2006-12-06 00:37:44 · answer #5 · answered by nida 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just donet yourself for one year in their service & happyness, The will feel you as a good friend. Thats the way.
2006-12-05 18:46:30 · answer #6 · answered by jogi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think that is your house and your parents.
Think for the betterment of that house
Think that your thinking may not be compatible with them but they are not against you and your parents.
Try to shed your ego,because most of the problems arise because of ego and false ego only.
Be true to your self and hope whatever they are thinking and doing it is for your betterment.
2006-12-05 14:49:09 · answer #7 · answered by suchsi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PL REMEMBER -no two people think/talk/behave alike.
try to understand your in-laws and look from their point of view .
just be cool
2006-12-06 13:29:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HONEY YOU DIDN'T MARRY YOUR IN-LAWS OK
AND YOUR HUSBAND HAVE TO BE MORE UNDERSTANDING TOO. WHEN YOU IT COMES TO YOU OVER THEM HE SHOULD STAND BY YOU NO MATTER . EVEN IF ITS HIS MOTHER. ITS ALWAYS A WAY TO GET SOMEONE TOLD. ESPECIALLY IN A NICE/NASTY WAY. STAND YOUR GROUND BABY. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN , AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY AND LET THAT BE. AND PROMISE THEY WILL ALWAYS RESPECT YOU FOR THAT.
2006-12-05 14:44:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it might be a good idea to move out of town, as far away as possible
2006-12-05 14:46:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋