Parents...does this sound like a good idea?

Question

My son is 14 months old. He walks, and talks a little. Lately he has been doing some naughty things like getting on the kitchen table, getting into the dogs water, getting behind the TV, and pushing the buttons on the TV. He knows what he is doing wrong, because I tell him no, and he will run away from me and laugh when I scold him. Now I guess it's time to start "time out". I want to take his old high chair that he doesn't use (he uses a booster seat because he pushes his tray off of his highchair with his feet) and place it facing the wall. After I tell him no, and he repeats his naughty thing I plan on putting him in the chair for 1 minute. I know he won't like it. I don't want to spank him since he is just 1 year old. Ideas? Comments? THANKS!!!!

I said I DON'T spank him....read the question!

I don't want to put him in his playpen since that is where he sleeps when we are on trips. I don't want to make that a bad place to be.

Answer 1

I think it is worth trying but to be effective the chair should be facing the wall but far enough away so he can't push it overbackward by kicking the wall. If he is facing the wall with nothing to look at he will have less distraction and realize that he is actually being punished for the behavior. Also when you let him out let him know if he does the same thing again or gets into something else he will be back in the chair facing the wall. Consistency is the most important part of any behavior modification plan.

Answer 2

Make sure that when you do let him out of the time out chair, you give him a hug, tell him you love him, but he needs to behave and do what he is told. He could get hurt doing some of the things he is doing. I think you are off to a great start! (I do not beleive in spanking at any age - if you start this young as you are, you should never have to resort to hitting)

Answer 3

I believe, and you may disagree with me, that up until the ages of 2 or even 3 children do not have impulse control. Just because they know something is wrong doesn't mean they can stop themselves from doing it.

That i why it is up to you to prevent them from doing anything dangerous, and distract them from doing anything unacceptable. You probably know when he is going to play with the TV or climb on the table. You will do far better in finding something for him to do when you know he is about to do those things than punish him after wards. You can remind him that he isn't supposed to do X and then ask him if he wants to do Y or Z or you can just ask him if he wants to do Y or Z.

Another tip is to take away some of his toys. Not because he is bad, but just take away 1/2 to 2/3 of his toys and then rotate them. If you know he is bored and going to misbehave bring out a toy he hasn't seen in a week, it will keep his interest better than having all his toys all the time. Then when he is in bed once or twice a week put away the toys that aren't holding his interest as well anymore. Now if he asks for something specific that you put away I would just go get it. Don't make it into a big deal, don't make him feel deprived. Just give him fewer options, and new options and he will be able to entertain himself for longer periods. It worked for my 9 month old.

He was just bored and overwhelmed with all his toys, once he had pulled them all out of his toy-box he was done. So now he has 2-3 in his playpen and 3 or 4 on the floor and these change, so he actually plays with the ones that are there.

Another idea is to set aside a drawer or cupboard in the kitchen with stuff he is allowed to play with. Tupperware, measuring cups, wooden spoons, etc. (Not metal pots and pans unless your nose threshold is higher than mine). That may keep him busy while you cook. Just be sure that he is only allowed to play with them while you are working in the kitchen. Granted this will mean you will probably have to rinse your Tupperware before you actually use it but it is worth it for your sanity.

It also sounds like he is just trying to get your attention. Many parents find they have the pay up front for their time. Make sure before you go off to do chores you give your son a half hour of attention and he may be more willing to do some independent play rather than playing make mommy chase me.

And above all, remember, if it isn't working change it --even if it worked last week, with your other kids, your SILs kids, super-nanny, whatever.

And this too will pass.

Answer 4

Does your booster chair have a strap on it? My son is 2 and when he was about 16 months old he got his first time out and I strapped him into hs chair and put him in the corner for a couple of minutes. When he was allowed down he was fine.

Answer 5

He is too young for the time out chair. At this point he doesnt do those things to be naughty, he does it because he has the need to explore and learn.
Just tell him "no" firmly and in simple words why ... like "No, you can get hurt" "No, that makes you sick" and redirect his attention.

It's not until they are into their two's that time out will be effective

Answer 6

My son is 21-months old and he did some of the same things. If the time-out works for him, DO IT! My son just thought time-out was awesome, so I had to scold him in the harshest voice I could muster and tap him on the hand or cheek (tap, not hit or slap, TAP), and that's what did it for me. However, different kids respond to different forms of punishment. You'll just have to find what works for you.

Answer 7

I think that is an excellent idea. That is what I did with both of my sons until they were old enough to understand they had to stay in the corner. I don't know if you know the "timeline" but it's a minute of timeout for every year old they are. Good Luck!

Answer 8

I USE A NAUGHTY MAT. ITS A SMALL CARPET (I STORE IT ROLLED UP)(IN A SPECIAL PLACE) I HAVE MY CHILD SIT ON IT WHEN SHE IS NAUGHTY. 1 MINUTE FOR EACH YEAR OF AGE. THEN WHEN THE MINUTE IS UP WE TALK ABOUT WHAT WAS DONE WRONG AND I GIVE HUGS AND KISSES.

THIS MAY TAKE A FEW TIMES TO GET THE CHILD TO STAY ON THE MAT BELIEVE ME IT DIDN'T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT.

Answer 9

Putting him inside a playpen works better. No toys either. One minute per year of age.

Answer 10

I think this is a good idea. If you start early it will help down the road. You just have to stick with the discipline. Make sure you don't give in to him or he will never learn.