WHY do i always place emphasize on looks for a partner?

Question

i know its really bad to just like a person because of looks.. but sometimes i just can't help it .
i do try to look beyond the persons looks... i mean i know some men who are absolute wonderful but just lack in the looks department .. but i tend to turn them down ,,
and i will be interested in the gd looking ones even if they are in the jerk category..
help what can i do to actually stop myself from being so shallow .. i mean im not all that good looking too ..

arghh suggestions plz

Answer 1

Why set poor looks as a goal. Just keep looking for the nice good lookin guys, and don't worry because one day you will find him, and eventually so many!!

OORrrrr... How about taking one of those nice guy out for shopping and show them what it takes to look good .... don't be pushy but instead encouraging and eventually you will have the self-made perfect guy.... and make sure you don't loose him for goodness sake !!!

So basically tell them one of those nice guys if they would like to go with you shopping in the mall and you he will probably say yes... unless he is a jerk in the first place!

Answer 2

Well if someone does not physically "do it for us", there is not always too much incentive to look for the underlying fabness of the person.

Shallow? Well perhaps - but of course it is curious that it IS a very common trait amongst most people (politically correct viewpoints aside). It is part of natural selection too. Just as with most other animals, the one which seems stronger / taller / more physical etc etc tends to "woo the mate" so the same with humans too.

As for "beauty only being skin deep" - that's a lame comment. What do you want - a pretty gall bladder??? In any case that is NOT true, even physical beauty is about WAY more than the skin, it is about the musculature underneath, the body language, the shape of the jaw, the natural contours of the body.........

To suggest that someone in the prime of their life, taking excellent care of their body's needs should be no more physically attractive than "Big Brenda the bag women" who last washed when she was caught in a downpour is truly a bit silly.

From a biological point of view (back to the natural selection of things), it makes good sense to go for an attractive mate too (human or animal). Why ? Because the creature that does not look after its own appearance / shape / size / fitness / tidiness is perhaps not going to be the best at providing for the needs for the family anymore than themselves.

The statement above is perhaps a little stereotypical - so we'll continue on that theme a bit more - if you see 10 people who look a mess, have paid little attention to their appearance and seem generally unfit do you think that as an average they are more or less likely to be good providers for a family than the ten people who are neat, well groomed and reasonably healthy ?

Again the above DOES needs an honest answer as opposed to a politically correct "well, if......." response which tries to ensure that everything is identically equal at all times for everyone for ever.

Answer 3

Everyone emphasize looks. Its a natural response for everyone. I do it all the time. Lets say looks is your 1st priority before getting married. Like waiting for someone like Tom Cruise to come along and sweep you off your feet. If this was the case, the chances are you will never get married. A relationship is beyond looks, its about the person, personality, etc...

As you age and mature you will better understand reality and how relationship works. For now its okay to emphasize on looks, its part of life reaction. Your normal... Take care~ )

Answer 4

Shallow is definately the appropriate term, and the fact that you've recognized it and not simply changed it, since you know it's a faulty way of finding good relationships, tells me you just don't much care. You're quite happy with being shallow, or else you'd simply STOP.

But doesn't bother me really. The world needs shallow and self invested people so that we can use you as a subject for comparison ... we know who the good ones are by comparing them to people like you and declaring them opposite.

Answer 5

Hey listen, I can tell you from experience, if you go out with a guy who you really dont think turns you on because of the way he looks, in the long run it is not going to work. The reason for this is, when its time for the two of you to be intimate, you wont be as attracted to him as he is to you,,,and he is going to notice this. After a while, it will be no point in hiding it and he is going to be hurt and you are going to be disgusted by him. So my advice is not to be shallow, but choose a guy that is nice and decently looking so that both your heart desires and sexual desires are fullfilled. Good luck

Answer 6

I've done that also where their looks (with clothes on) are important, but once I see them without their looks aren't that great and so I get somewhat turned off. I then try to like them for other things but it is kind of hard.

The ones I've been attractive to (with and without clothes) turn out to be jerks.

Give the not so nice looking ones a chance. You may be pleasantly surprised. And those ones are the ones who have the hot body underneath.

Answer 7

Because you're ugly and shallow and you want to find a good looking person for your future so when you have kids they won't look like shrek or worse you......you have to be attracted to the person you're with its natural so sadly looks do play a role in relationships but if thats the only thing you can say you like about them than the relationship will be doomed

Answer 8

wear a blindfold? truth is, it's all really up to you. if you feel like you want to look beyond a guy's looks, then DO it. try to find compatibility; get to know a person b4 you accept them, regardless of looks. i've seen hot guys turn into ugly toads the moment they open their mouths, and average guys turn into prince charmings once i got to know them. and remember, good looking is a matter of opinion, and it varies for each culture. so, someone you may not think loos all that great, may be the cream of the crop elsewhere inthe world.

Answer 9

Well because everything in this world, in this time, has been programmed into our minds as "beauty".

It doesn't take long to figure out that what we are attracted to is constantly being played on popular tv stations (MTV, Vh1, etc...)

I know it's hard, but you gotta persevere in this sort of thing. Get to know the dude that may not look as good as the next guy. Who knows, you may learn to like them no matter what they look like.

Answer 10

people are impossible to predict if you don't know them. sometimes the best looking are the ones that get the most girls and love breaking their hearts, and sometimes find guys that are not the type to win Americas most hamdsome, but again try mingle around and meet alot of people cute and not so cute. maybe you will find a guy not so cute that just makes your dreams come true.

Good luck!