how to stop my mind games?

Question

I was with my boyfriend last year, we broke up for the summer since he was leaving and plus we didnt have the best relationship... we didnt talk for a few months, now after some complicated long stories happen, we're back together and things are a lot better.

I want to keep things being better, but one of the problems im facing is i'll get upset over lminor things, like him talking to a girl he liked over the summer, or if he didnt call over the weekend... all things he doesnt seem to be a big deal. sometimes i'll tell him im mad and it will lead to a fight, sometimes i'll hold it in, and he'll ask whats wrong and i say "nothing" though im secretly mad and it will become this mind game for him to figure it out since i want him to know without me telling him...

how can i stop myself from doing this? how do you know when its worth enough to confront? and if its not, how do you not let yourself get angry over it?

Answer 1

Expressing your authentic self doesn't mean it leads to a confrontation. You start by expressing preferences "I like the red one more than the blue" "I would like the window seat". As you get comfortable with expressing thoughts on those kind of benign items, you start to express your feelings more. "when you don't call me over the weekend, I feel like I am not important to you".

Read the book "How To Be An Adult In Relationships" by David Richio. You can order it off Amazon. It explains these patterns and what to do to create and attract healthier relationships. It's a good book for your type of situation.

Answer 2

Communication who is huge and very important part of any relationship. You need to constantly be open with your feelings and ask your boyfriend to do the same because if he cant do a simple task as communication for the sake of your relationship then its not worth being serious.
Sit him down and calmly tell him whats bothering you, start with saying "i feel...." that way it doesnt sound like your placing blame because if you say "you make me mad" he will be confrontational with you.
Guys are just generally weird, you need to find your 'niche', find what suits you in talking to him.
I use to have the same exact problem, i would keep things in because i didnt want to have an argument and get my bf upset... but it helps so much once you have talked.
Its a learning curve, you cant just master it overnight, it will take time but your relationship will be better for it.

Answer 3

You should stop and sat back and think about if the situation is really worth confronting him about. If the answer is no then let it go. If the answer is yes then talk to him about it. Playing mind games are just a waste of every ones time. Are you playing these games because you are getting something out of it? Like maybe attention from him. If you are doing this just to get his attention then you should really find another way.

Answer 4

You sound very insecure for this relationship,i have been through all of what you are going through before,Just be honest Mind Games hurt..Isn't a relationship about trust and communication .Guys are different to girl's sometime's we look into things too much as guy's don't.You will know deep down if he is worth all of the stress and worry,Good Luck G/F..:)

Answer 5

sweetie, it sounds like you have a pretty complicated relatoinship. and you don't sound very happy with the way things are going. and what you're doing is not playing mind games. what's going on, is that you're trying to make things work with your boyfriend, even at the expense of your happiness. and that's not fair to you! you should not be holding things in when you feel like there's something you need to say to him. you need to be able to talk about whatever is bothering you, and he should care enough to want to listen and try and make things right. it breaks my heart to see that you've asked how to stop yourself from doing things that aren't wrong. it sounds like your boyfriend needs to be more considerate of your feelings, not the other way around. I don't see that you're doing anything wrong. you're trying to communicate with him, and that's the key to a good relationship! you're his girlfriend, he should be calling you, he shouldn't be talking to the girl he liked last summer, and he should listen to you without getting mad when you need some reassurance from him, or just need to talk something out. and he should do this without getting mad at you.
you tell him how you need things to be in order for your relationship to work, and if he can't deal with it, he's probably not the right guy for you. just don't hold in all your feelings out of fear that he will get mad at you or upset. you have every right to speak your mind! with the way things are going now, you're never going to be happy. and that's the one thing you deserve!
talk to him, okay? and if he's not willing to put forth the effort to make things work, then that's the proof he's not the right guy for you.
I Wish You the Best with Everything.

Answer 6

always communicate if something is wrong. no matter how much you hide it it will be shown bright as a yellow traffic light being sped through on the intersection.

build up trust, it sounds like the relationship's running empty on it. it's not to hard to do.

openly communicate.

trust will defeat worries when your guy talks to other chicks. he should be open with why he's talking to other girls though. communication will solve all this.

Answer 7

answer: no punt intended, but grow up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!