I am currently staying with my bf and all my stuff is still at my apt. I plan on living with my bf and my roomie knows this already. So I gave her 4 months notice that as soon as she gets her tax income check in Jan, she said she would use that to get a smaller apt she can afford alone. Until then I have been paying rent to both my bf and her, although I do not live there anymore and can easily take my stuff and leave. (Its a month to month lease)
The problem now is she keeps complaining the closer it gets to Jan when she will have to move. I get this attitude from her and she says "Guess I'll have to move in with the next guy that comes along and wants to f*ck me.. like MOST people I know..." and other snide comments.
I have helped her more than anyone else would, she cant easily find a place because she has a pitbull that most places wouldnt accept. I have tried to find roomates but come out empty handed. What should I do? Am I getting taken advantage of?
2006-12-05 12:41:14 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are totally being taken advantage of. I think you have done way too much already and you should say that to her. You have your own life to worry about and she is definately laying a huge guilt trip on you. Most people I know wouldn't think twice. They would grab their stuff and leave. I went through a similar situation and I got so screwed over in the end. She did not appreciate me at all, and after her problems were solved, I was out of the picture and we never talked again. I have learned from that situation and there is only so much you as one person can do. You need to focus on your life. I know it may be hard to do and I know the guilt trips will get you, they always do but at some point you have to be strong and just leave and don't turn back. I hope this helps. You will survive and I am sure she will too. ;)
2006-12-05 12:49:41 · answer #1 · answered by Julez81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since it is a month to month lease, you are helping her out a lot because you don't HAVE to pay her anymore rent since you are not living there. The snide comments from her are completely uncalled for.
First of all, kuddos to you keeping to your promise. Not everyone would keep paying rent even though you're not living there. But, you have to make it clear to her that you are not going to be there after she gets her tax refund, whether she has another roommate or another apartment or not. She won't have any other option but to get her behind moving to find another place. You have made it clear that you will live with your boyfriend. If she makes another snide remark, simply and nicely explain to her that you gave her plenty of notice that you won't be there and that she'll have to do the footwork to get her end of the deal taken care of. It's not right that she makes you feel bad when you have gone up and beyond what anyone else in your situation would do. Don't feel bad about moving on with your life. If she was smart, she would treat you with the utmost of respect for helping her out these last few months.
2006-12-05 12:48:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have been much more than fair to her - 4 months notice is extremely generous of you, and the fact you're paying rent at both places makes you a truly, amazingly good person. It sounds like she's just jealous, and is trying to make you feel guilty. She may very well be trying to take advantage of your generous nature. If you don't want to just ignore her, I'd confront her - but calmly and rationally - that will make her look like the drama queen she is. Simply tell her you feel you were more than fair - you've done your part and now she needs to do hers. If she has any issues with you or your boyfriend you'll be happy to leave the apartment now, so as not to make her feel uncomfortable. If she keeps being childish, just move your stuff out and leave her. She needs to grow up.
Good luck to you! I wish you and your boyfriend much happiness!
2006-12-05 12:46:29 · answer #3 · answered by They call me ... Trixie. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YEs you are because not only is she been rude and distastefull to you, But she is going to ruin your friendship with her. Tell her it's not the f--king that counts but the character. And also tell her if she need to get a new apt., give the dog away or sell it becuase those are dangerous dogs. If she wants to be rude just when Jan. comes around just leave and don't worry about her trying to make you feel bad. Talk to her nicely about her comments if she keeps them up just say Bye.
2006-12-05 12:54:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you are getting taken advantage of..First of all she is grown...second its not your responsibility to find her another roommate its hers...And obviously she doesn't believe you will move out if shes not looking..I wouldn't pay her half of nothing if u aren't there then why pay? I can understand u probably have a friendship and everything but come on if she was your friend she would see the struggle you are facing and get off her A$$ and get her self together but that's just my opinion take it or leave it..good luck
2006-12-05 12:47:49 · answer #5 · answered by Jay Thick Wit It 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not being taken advantage of because you volunteered to pay this rent. But look, if she's going to be an ungrateful hussy, then maybe she can come up with her own rent money this december. or next month. let her know if she doesn't start acting like she appreciates all that you're doing for her, then you will stop acting like you give a damn. AND STOP BEING A PUSHOVER!! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER THIS MONTHS AGO.
2006-12-05 12:45:27 · answer #6 · answered by Brento! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it, you gave her 4 MONTHS! Don't feel bad, you have to do what is best for you. Sounds like everything you did was in a respectful way. As for the dog, that isn't your fault. Being a dog owner gives you a lot of responsibilities, and that is something your roomate chose to take on when she adopted. Good luck!
2006-12-05 12:46:08 · answer #7 · answered by dietcokes4me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your problem any longer. You gave her plenty of notice, and you even tried to find another roommate for her. You can feel bad for her, and you can keep trying to find someone else to live there, but it isn't your fault you're moving in with your boyfriend. Did she expect you to live with her for the rest of your life? Or was there a previous plan on how long you'd be rooming together?
2006-12-05 12:43:48 · answer #8 · answered by argylemoose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is trying to make you feel like a slut and putting the old guilt trip on you. You gave her ample warning now stick to it and don't worry about her. she must be a very rude person to have a damned pit bull and expect someone to live in an apartment with it anyway. Move on and don't look back
2006-12-05 12:46:29 · answer #9 · answered by roy40372 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Miss Mayor McKim:
By your description I would have to say you have been a very good friend and have been and done what is more than reasonable for your friend. Don't let the guilt trip cause you to go beyond what you can afford and do for this person. The ground rules have been set, so stick to them is my advise to you.
ps. Your personal life is exactly that.
2006-12-05 12:49:47 · answer #10 · answered by Fresh choice 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋