If one of your family member dies, how do you deal with the grief.?Woulden't you be comforted by them being in a better place. like heaven. Why do you believe when die, you just decompose? Woulden't you want too be reunited with your loved one in heavan?
2006-12-05 12:34:27 · 27 answers · asked by Chase 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
My father committed suicide last year. I deal with that knowing that he does live on... he lives on in me, he lives on in what he taught me, he will live on when I have children and teach them as he taught me.
His voice will echo in my own when I get frustrated and say, "Talking to teenagers is like pulling teeth!" or, "The person in the mirror is the one that is responsible!"
And love NEVER dies. You cannot kill it, you cannot erase it. You cannot touch it.
He is no longer in pain, and for that I am thankful. I would love nothing more than to believe that he is still floating about somewhere. But wanting to believe that does not make it true.
2006-12-05 12:37:26 · answer #1 · answered by Snark 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I imagine I deal with grief much the same way anyone does: I am sad for myself that I no longer have the person in my life, I am reminded of my own mortality, etc. I then eventually come to the place where I accept it--I'm not happy with it, of course, but I accept that it is the way the world is. We all die, ALL of us.
I suppose it could be comforting to think that a person I loved lived in Heaven or Summerland or some other place. I don't, however, experience any extra grief because of my beliefs that they do not. There's no real reason to believe that there is some eternally existing part of ourselves, and I think it is noble to acknowledge one's place in the world. When we die, our bodies go toward improving the life of "lesser" organisms. The person I loved no longer exists except in my memories of them, and so I don't waste time wishing it otherwise.
2006-12-05 20:44:24 · answer #2 · answered by N 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When my mother died, I was the member of the family who handled it the best.
My Christian sister was furious with god, wondering how he could let something like that happen to such a good woman. She wondered what she had done to deserve it.
My father reacted much the same way, and his long term response was to shun the remaining members of his family.
Because of my beliefs, I was able to accept it, though I was very devastated at the loss to myself and my family, and upset that my mom was denied a lot of opportunities -- such as knowing her grandchildren. But I know that death is a part of life: it is not a punishment for past sins. My mom died because she got cancer, not because she did anything wrong. I felt no anger, only grief, but I worked through it with far less damage to myself than my sister or father.
The thought of of being in a better place never entered my mind. She did not believe in heaven, she believed in reincarnation. My only thought was that the world was a poorer place for her absence, but I would do all I could to keep here memory alive, and in that way I would never really lose her. My kids know stories about their grandma as well as I know them myself. And I tell them all the time how much she would have adored them.
I don't worry about heaven. I will love my beloved and our children, my family and friends as long as and as hard as I can RIGHT NOW.
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2006-12-05 20:45:42 · answer #3 · answered by Chickyn in a Handbasket 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When a loved one dies, I comfort myself the way every other person does: by remembering the way they were and why I loved them. Even if you believe in an afterlife, you can only remember the person as they were when they were alive. Would I want to be reunited with them? Sure. But wishing for something doesn't make it true.
2006-12-05 20:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by abulafia24 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Of course they will grieve perhaps even more than Christians. The reason atheists are usually so good to their loved ones is that they believe they only have one chance to. And of course they would love to see their family again but they don’t get delusional and create religions because of this. We deal with the grief with Vodka and cigarettes, well I do. And they don’t believe anything happens when they die, no one knows what happens when you die so it would be foolish to believe one thing over an other does.
2006-12-05 20:41:27 · answer #5 · answered by Crayola 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I might be comforted, but that's not the point. If a doctor told me, six months before my dad was about to die, that he didn't have cancer, would that be comforting? Yes. But that wouldn't make it true, would it?
I take comfort in friends, family, and the knowledge that life will go on. I'll live on through my children, and they'll live on through their children, and so on. It's more life-affirming, if you ask me, to value this life as the only one we have.
I guess I would ask you why you grieve for loved ones when you believe it will only mean you'll be away from them for a few years?
2006-12-05 20:41:17 · answer #6 · answered by STFU Dude 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be comforted by the Christian explanation at all -- according to that religion, just about all of my family members are going to Hell, not Heaven. (That's not the direct reason why I reject Christianity, though.)
Sure, reuniting with loved ones in some supernatural paradise after death is a nice thought, but that doesn't mean it's going to happen either.
2006-12-05 20:37:24 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
You see, there's your mistake. Wanting something isn't the same as it being possible. We all have to deal with grief. But inventing some magical place where we'll all meet up again one day is a sign of immaturity. Wishing really hard never made anything appear.
2006-12-05 20:36:47 · answer #8 · answered by Bad Liberal 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I had both my parents and oldest brother die. I dealt with the grief like everyone else does. What I might wish for is not relevant. I might wish for a genie to give me three wishes. My wishes are not going to make it happen. When you become an adult you learn to deal with reality as it is.
2006-12-05 20:48:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Are you really that incapable of living without a fictional god that you can't learn how to deal with that kind of pain all on your own?
They're gone, that's it, that's all. Time heals all wounds and eventually you learn to say goodbye and move on.
Yes, I'd like to be reunited with them, but so what? It isn't going to happen. It's something I've learned to accept.
See, I don't live my life in fear. Unlike Christians.
Chicky that was so beautifully well said. Thats exactly how I felt when my mother died. She died of cancer too.
2006-12-05 20:49:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋