I have always gotten along pretty good with my mom, until the last year or so. She can't seem to hold a job and never has any money. She always borrowing money from me and never paying me back. She's working now. A little over a week ago she asked me to borrow some money saying she would pay me back on "Monday". Monday came and I forgot to ask her about it. Well, A few days later I asked her about it and she said she didn't have it because she needed it to pay the phone bill. She said she would have it on "Monday" (The next monday). So yesterday, I asked her if she had the money because I'm broke and she said she didn't get paid. (She works with this little old lady) and she would definatly get paid today (Tuesday). I just called her and she said she didn't go to work today so again she doesn't have the money. I don't know what to do because I'm tired of giving her money and not getting it back, but I feel bad when I don't because she's my mom. Help?
2006-12-05 12:07:00 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Seriously, I have asked her if she was doing drugs because I have suspected if for sometime. She gets all upset and starts crying and yelling at me. Then I get upset and start crying and it becomes a huge mess. (I'm way to emotional for my own good.)
2006-12-05 12:17:16 · update #1
Yeah, I have a job and it really wouldn't be so bad except that it's been happening to much and I'm trying to start a life with my fiance. We're engaged and trying to save money to get married. I am currently paying for her internet and her cell phone and I just can't do it anymore.
2006-12-05 12:26:07 · update #2
Yeah she's your Mom. Doesn't mean you should keep giving her money. She chose to be a Mom, it's not your fault. Stop giving her money.
2006-12-05 12:12:40 · answer #1 · answered by ZCT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In some situations the rolls are reversed and the son or daughter is like the parent. In this situation it sounds like that is the case. Your the one holding the job being the responsible one. And your mom is not. I would say if she is not being responsible and paying you back, I would treat her like anyone else. Don't loan her money. Tell her that you need the money for yourself. They say that money is the number one reason people get a divorce and it is the quickest way to lose a friend. So if it is causing a strain in your relationship then that is reason enough to not do it anymore. Your mom will have to learn to stand on her own feet as the same as you did. Hope this helps.
2006-12-05 12:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your Mom some serious counseling. She is on to unchecked spending habits which may be good or bad. This is going to ruin your relationship with her in the long run. You need to stand up and speak to her about her problems or addictions. I am proud that you keep helping your MOM and hope that your help is not taken advantage of for some serious problems. Good Luck and step up and put your feet down firmly and start to say the word "NO" when she asks you for money.
2006-12-05 12:21:07 · answer #3 · answered by US 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your foot down and tell her you have a life too and need your own money. She is your MOTHER. I would think she would be the one that brings in the money. Talk to her and tell her all the times she has borrowed money. If it keeps getting out of hand, make a list of how much she has borrowed and show her. It is not fair for her taking your money.
GOOD LUCK!!
2006-12-05 12:14:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write off the money.
Don't lend her any more money.
She may be your mom but it is not your responsibility to support her financially. If she is hungry make her a sandwich. If she is cold, give her a sweater. Give her things that may help - a hug. Do not give her anything that she can use to buy drugs or liquor.
She is in trouble and maybe you can help her, but seriously, she needs to help herself. IF she is not going to work and not getting paid, she is not helping herself.
If her cell phone contract is over and you are month to month then let her know that you are going to have to stop that as well.
Good Luck.
2006-12-05 12:40:01 · answer #5 · answered by anirbas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.....I would quit asking ur mom for the money. As a matter of fact i would help her out with raising money. If ur old enough i would get a job, that way u would have some money for urself and u could give some to ur mom to help her out. By asking ur mom all the time, that is stressing her out more.
2006-12-05 12:21:05 · answer #6 · answered by leeboo13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You, my dear, have turned into the mother. You two have reversed rolls. Don't you think it's time that you allowed your mother to grow up. Set some boundaries for yourself. If you can find a way, go to a good counselor who can teach you how to set boundaries. Your mom isn't going to change until you change. I know that it's going to be very hard. Your mom will fight to keep things as they are, but the payoff is big in the end if you will stop this dance that you both are doing. Best wishes to you both.
2006-12-05 12:16:51 · answer #7 · answered by ~j~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to be funny but ya mom might be on drugs.dont loan her any more money tell her she needs to go apply for some help if she is havin that much trouble. ask her if she is doin drugs. u need to learn to say no to ur mother
2006-12-05 12:14:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This book should be read by every teenage girl or even anyone who has ever felt lonely or misunderstood, it's amazing,
http://astore.amazon.com/mwer-20/detail/0670061050/103-6324135-9835818
2006-12-10 07:54:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u kinda owe her cuz i mean if it wasn't 4 her u wouldn't be living.but theirs no reason 4 her 2 yell and crap at u 4 asking if she was on drugs....just be nicer 2 her and hug her
2006-12-05 12:22:56 · answer #10 · answered by m.j h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋