We live in Hawaii and father lives in Ohio. He wants me to send son to visit for the summer. The only problem I have with doing so is the father hasn't had any interest in visiting or being in my sons life until this year. He was recently married and has a step daughter the same age. The father only calls him on his birthday, holidays but outside of that hasn't made an effort to be in his sons life until now. My son has expressed that he would prefer his father and his new family to come to Hawaii to visit him but I know this will be another fight. Should I let my son go? My gut tells me I shouldn't and that I should wait until the courts decide. Please Help!!
2006-12-05 12:01:26 · 14 answers · asked by REDD 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
While I too (like so many above) would go with my gut feeling, it is entirely possible that due to his new marriage, he has changed, grown up!
In either case, if you do not feel comfortable with it, then no. And be firm in expressing your opininion (and your son's) to the court.
As a Sasquatch parent of a young lady,
Regards and good luck!
The Ol' Sasquatch Ü
2006-12-05 12:16:31 · answer #1 · answered by Ol' Sasquatch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the father hasn't had any interest until now then I would say don't do it. If the child won't stop talking about then that is another story. From my point I would say let ur son AT LEAST visit for maybe summer or something to see if everything goes well. I have personally never met my father before and never had contact so of course I know there is this whole other family I have. What I am saying is give it a chance. Good luck!
2006-12-05 12:10:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is better and for the safety of your kid to wait until the court decides what to do. Although he is the biological father of your son and he rarely sees him, still gives him the right to see his child. However, due to the circumstances, just let the court decide first. Be sure to tell the court what type of father he is, about how often he calls your son, and anything else. A father like your ex-husband, is not a real father...because although you two are separated from each other, he should still try to call your son at least once a week, continue his child support, and support his child in everything else. But he's not doing it.
Be sure to note any phone calls, when he called, what time, etc. to provide it to the court, this helps you make life easier. Good luck.
2006-12-05 12:07:27 · answer #3 · answered by Mstislav 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is your son? How long has he not had contact with his father? How does he feel about him? Perhaps you should encourage him to talk to his father and tell him how he feels. It may not be feasible for his father to visit him in Hawaii at this time. Try not to harbor resentment against his father since he is making an effort now to be a part of his sons life. I know you may be worried about having your son so far away for such a long time, however it really is in your child's best interest to have a relationship with his father. Be willing to compromise. Allow your son to visit for 2 or 3 weeks at first to see how things go.
2006-12-05 12:15:28 · answer #4 · answered by babydoll 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats too far to send him, when he hasnt really had a relationship with him. The fact that he wants to send his son where he lives, shows no effort in attemping to go see him. If I were you, and esp. if your son says he's not comfortable, let the courts decide something or tell him he has to come see his child.
Let the father show attempts with more calls, more visits, and initiative in being a parent before he can start calling stuff. Than maybe send him to Ohio.
2006-12-05 12:08:08 · answer #5 · answered by msconfused 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man, keep the courts out of it. Do you have a reason not to trust your ex husbands intentions. If he is willing to pay the round trip expenses and his child support is up to date, then why not. Why does your gut say you shouldn't? Maybe you should chaperon? Do you have a reason not to trust him? When emotions are involved people have a tendency to say and do the wrong things. Are you mad at him? It is never too late for a father to want to have a relationship with his son. How about meeting them half way, like Disneyland in L.A.? Maybe your son doesn't want to go because he reads your feelings about your ex?
2006-12-05 12:09:59 · answer #6 · answered by Dhaircutta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your son doesn't really know his father so NO he should not go any where unsupervised ... if your ex wants to get to know his son then start small and grow from there ... he should make the first move and come to hawaii and meet him then maybe have him do more (calling & letters) but if he's not interested in that than question why is it a big deal just for the summer??? use you gut instinct and go with what your son wants!!
2006-12-05 12:05:19 · answer #7 · answered by emnari 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOOOO!!!!! From experience I would not do this. IT will put an emotional toll on your son. That will not help him out in life. He is better off without a father like that. And he will grow to know this. Yes alil is better then nothing, but his father doesnt care. If he did then he would come to your son instead of fly him to see him. It should be the opposite way around Good luck!
2006-12-05 12:08:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mother i often told myself that if me and my husband ever seperated i would often let his father visit and vice versa..but in this case it seems that he doesnt deserve this right..not only does he live way too far, but imagine if he changed his mind and kept the boy, i say that if he really wantd to see his son and make a bond he would of gone over there to see him rather then you sending him over from so far..go with your instincts...
2006-12-05 12:12:04 · answer #9 · answered by sinful vampyra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the best thing that you can do is go with your guts.
Most of the time, they are right!
Wait till the court settle the issue, and then talk to his father again.
2006-12-05 12:03:55 · answer #10 · answered by Dancer101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋