Do ALL men want a size 10, no strectch marks and 20yrs old!!?

Question

I have just hit 40! My husband Just left me for a younger model! ( 25yrs younger & 4st lighter!) I use to be a size 8/10. Now a size 16! Scars from 2 major operations, stretch marks from 3 children, and am now finding I cannot even talk to a man, because I feel overweight and so ugly! Would NEVER be able to have sex, too ashamed of my scar! Still have my boobs, but only due to weight to be honest! Has anyone else ever felt this way? I have got use to being on my own, and am OK with staying that way, but am starting to feel like a freak!

TO ARIEL: WHO JUST SAID I WAS GROSS FOR HAVING STRETCH MARKS AND SAID I NEEDED GASTRO SURGEY!!

YOU HAVE JUST SAID EXACTLY WHAT MY HUSBAND SAID. NOW I KNOW THAT A STRANGER FEELS THE SAME, I HAVE NO CHOICE LEFT. THANK YOU FOR BEING SO HONEST, I KNEW I WAS GROSS, I JUST DIDN'T EXPECT TO HER IT SO SOON AGAIN. BUT YOU HAD THE GUTS TO SAY IT. AND HAVE GIVEN ME THE STRENGTH TO END IT ALL. THANK YOU.
I DID HAVE SURGERY LIKE YOU SUGGESTED, BUT THEY HAD TO REMOVE MY BOWEL, SO ONLY RESULTED IN AN EXTRA SCAR. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HONESTY, IT DID HURT, BUT HAS FINALLY MADE MY MIND UP THAT I CANNOT BE ON THIS EARTH A DAY LONGER. YOUR RIGHT, BEST NOT TO BE HRERE, THAN 2 BE HERE AND FAT.
THANKYOU. YOU HAVE HELPED SO MUCH.

Answer 1

aww, hun..I'm sorry for what you've been thru. it is not easy for anyone to go through. First..not all men go after younger girls, who are a size 10..trust me!

But what ti find somewhat sad is your opinion of yourself. OK, you gained some weight..have a few scars and stretchmarks. Those things do not make up the whole of you..they are just mere parts of you. You need to gain your confidence back some how. Surround your self with positive people who make you feel happy inside. Force yourself to get out, go for walks..some sort of exercise every day. (do a few weights..light ones..if you can..even use soup cans to lift)..the point being, start working on your inner self. Once you start to feel better thru doing things for yourself, you will gain much more confidence about yourself. You will see, that, so what..you have marks..they are more than likely not as bad as what you feel they are. I have yet have a man make a reference to my marks from my kids!..Somehow, Thu the heat of the moments..my marks are the last things on a guy's mind. trust me..the same will be for you.
oh, btw..many..may younger men LOVE women who are in their 40's....so don't fret about that either.
be good to yourself..start seeing what a good person you are again..start to fele more healthier, get outside..you will soon see..there is alot out there for you.

Answer 2

I think you should be proud of what you have size 16 (if UK) is not a big size at all (Don't know about US Sizes) it is voluptuous and a lot of men love a voluptuous women in fact after reading many of questions on here I have realised that most men prefer a women with a bit of meat on them than a skinny bird!

Also I think that bolounit1 is right be proud of your curves and show a bit of flesh and why shouldn't you go for a younger guy your husband went off with a younger girl

I am sure you could show a younger guy a thing or two and have some fun doing so, funnily enough I don't think men are that fickle about sizes etc it is us Women that put all the pressure on!

Answer 3

Im 23 years old, covered in stretch marks and scars, pregnancy, csection, gall bladder removal....very small chest, which makes me afraid to lose the last few 15 pounds that I want, after getting to a size 5/6 from a 13/14, which took me over two years, and you know what helped me lose the weight and gain some confidence......getting away from the man that I spent 6 years with......I suggest that you try your hardest to focus on yourself, the things you do like about yourself, the things you enjoy...and realize that you are not a freak...that you and someone else can love you just the way you are.....but also be happy and proud of growing as a person and setting goals for yourself and achieving them........and no, not al men want that....my Dad, who is 48, good looking, successful, and a great single father until we all grew up and moved out.....prefers women his age or older....and recently married a woman his age with stretch marks and scars of her own.

Answer 4

It's a sad fact that many men do, but you must find your sexiness from within you not based on what a man says or how a man acts. Get to the gym, go to the salon, transform yourself into the sex kitten YOU want to be. Buy those alluring clothes as you lose the weight. Do it for your health. It's time to treat yourself well.. you've spent all your time on hubby and kids. It is not the scar that is ugly, it's that jiggly fat, so lose it, sister, and find the new you. Stretch marks and scars can be minimized. Fat has to be lost. Send me an email. I love to do makeovers! Your beauty is more than your looks. Refind it. Say thank you to your husband for giving you the freedom to be yourself. He will regret the day he left you once he sees the new you.

Answer 5

First of all you are not a freak. You are a person with warmth and understanding - and you should not be ashamed of yourself. I am sure there are men out there who want a size 10 but the fact is is does not stay that way. Unfortunately having children and getting sick cuases problems with body shape. But I am also sure there are men out there who want maturity and understanding and brains. No offense to 25 year olds but dating someone who is 15 years senior. That means taht when he is 55 0r60 she will be 40? Where does it end. You are a worthwhile person and I certainly would not classify any woman who has had children and given a good part of thier life in raising them a freak on body image. Shame on your ex for making you feel this way.

Answer 6

Yes. It most certainly can. I dated a 19 year old when I first got divorced and it worked out great. It lasted 6 months. I knew it was not going to be a long term thing. You just have to make sure you are both on the same page and are honest with each other as to what you guys want. Normally the guy is just looking for sex. There are exceptions but not many. Depends what u are looking for.

Answer 7

Please don't let the silly comments of a scrawny ditz like her make you depressed, girl. I am not the best at giving advice, but I have let people like her influence my self-esteem in the past and it really is not worth it.

My thoughts:
-there are a lot of men out there who prefer older women to younger models. I am 26 and have been rejected on more than a few occasions for women over the age of 35. Many guys see you as sexier, and are intruigued by the fact that you know what to do in the bedroom.
-many many women have stretchmarks, whether size 6 or size 20. Seriously. And its not due to fat- but changes in weight (up or down), childbirth etc. Lots of guys also have them. My brother says most guys dont even notice them, really, esp. if you are getting hot and heavy. YOU ARE A WOMAN, not an androgenous ramp model. If you are really that concious of them, there are creams that make them fade.
-do not let your size get you down. 16 is not big in my view. If you think you are too big, then set a goal for yourself, lose some weight, and celebrate by having a great new haircut and make-over. This will require effort- gym, diet whatever, but it can be done. There is nobody on earth who cant lose weight if they put enough effort in to the regime that works for them. See a dietician if necessary.
-be confident. You are intelligent and have pizazz. Show it!

Best of luck!
You are single- you can have the world at your feet, screw the ex!

Answer 8

Your husband is an *** and isn't worth a second though. You can work through your weight problem, it's not that bad. Most women have stretch marks. There are MEN with stretchmarks. You are not a freak but you do need some counseling ASAP Your children are worth living for if nothing else. They need you. Do you really think your husband and his w h o r e should raise them? Is that the kind of people you want your kids to turn out to be. Do you want to traumatize them for the rest of their lives?
If nothing else get yourself together emotionally for the kids and put your life back on track.

Answer 9

No they don't! My wife is 41, she was a size 8 when i met her 25
yrs ago now she is a size 12-14. She has all the scars of child
birth and a operation, but i still love her to bits and find her very
sexy. I wouldn't swap her for any size or age girl.
What you need to do is socialise more to get your self confidence back, you will meet someone who will love you the way you are.

Answer 10

Most men dont need to date a supermodel

Try dating younger guys older woman are great as lovers and some younger guys know that

Women can be so sexy , so awesomely attractive even if there not supermodels

Even if your overweight -show some skin !!!
Tasetful amounts of skin but show it nonetheless .
If a heavy set women was in sweats i would be meh
If a heavy set women were wearing a skirt , nice shoes , and a blouse with a plunging neckline my motor would be running .

Hope this helps .