how do you know if your boyfriend expects sex or is trying to push in that direction and how can you tell him no and still stay together
2006-12-05 11:38:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's easy, about 99.99% of men want to have sex with you if they are with you. So just assume it. Just wait until he pushes for it. If he respects you he won't and he will let nature take it's course.
If he does push for it then simply tell him "no, I'm not ready." If he pressures you into it then guess what? He is NOT the right guy for you.
I'm actually FAR more concerned that you would even write this. This clearly tells me a lot about you. You want to know how to say "no" without upsetting him and are afraid to lose him. Girl...that is coming from weakness and not power. Some men have been taught by their friends and fathers that if they pressure a girl the right way they will get laid.
This is totally wrong. As an example I am dating a couple women right now and one of them flat out told me that she did not want to have sex with anyone for a long time and she had her own reasons for that. I enjoyed her company tremendously and we found other ways to please one another without sex. I respect a person's boundaries.
That's one difference between a mature man and a boy. The boy will push for sex because he is thinking with his you know what, while the mature man will respect your boundaries. I'm assuming we're talking a long-term, serious, committed relationship.....if not, then the rules totally change.
Stay ur ground and do not compromise your values if he pressures you. "Oh, if you cared for me you'd have sex with me..." is such a load of bull crap that I tell all my female friends if a guy ever says that to them they should dump his azz on the spot!
Keep your power!
2006-12-05 11:44:58 · answer #1 · answered by thedatepro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nogt all guys are like this, i had several boyfriends who didnt expect sex and were ok with waiting for me to be ready...
If he's pushing then tell him to back off coz you're not ready yet, make it special or make sure its with someone who has lots of experience, I did both, and im glad i did, instead of some little boy who wanted to wack it in there.
one more thing you should know, is if you give it up without building a solid relationship first, it will end up being just a sexual thing, once a man sees you as a sexual object it is almost impossible to change his thought process back to thinking of you as a lover and friend type partner.
you need to watch a movie called kids, and then read a book called how to catch him and keep him, it gives insight into the male psyche and will help you understand what not to do if you dont want to be looked apon as a bed buddy.
2006-12-05 19:47:38 · answer #2 · answered by miss-pelld 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they way u can tell is by wenever u two are together all he wants to do it do shitt
some guys r assses that only want sex in a reltionship
and some arent
if hes pushing you to have sex and you dont want to
and he gets madd
it means that it wasnt a real relationship and you can find anther guy that will get to ur needs and want a real relationship with not based on only sexxx
GOOD LUCK
2006-12-05 19:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by suker4love 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wellif your boyfriend expected sex he should have told you already,if he hasn't metioned it maybe he's waiting for you to tell him when your ready.If he does ask you first tell him in a nice way that you are not ready to have sex and that you want it to be special.Tell him he he really likes you he should be able to wait.
2006-12-05 19:45:14 · answer #4 · answered by LaToya T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you'll just have to stick to your guns, don't get yourself into situations where you will find it hard to say no, i.e drinking, or going somewhere that you can't just walk away from.
If he isn't cool with it you really shouldn't stay with him. The simple act of you saying no and him honoring that is proof that he cares... and if he doesn't, he doesn't care... catch my drift?
2006-12-05 19:43:03 · answer #5 · answered by fullofsugaw 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ahh there are signs if he's trying to push you to having sex with him.
and if you arent ready for it yet just tell him.
tell him"Im not ready for that big of a commitment just yet"
good luck
2006-12-05 19:41:19 · answer #6 · answered by Emily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs to respect that you're not yet ready to have sex with him. If he can't accept that then just dump him.
2006-12-05 19:42:06 · answer #7 · answered by Confused Loner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to him tell him how you feel about it and have him tell you how he feels about it and go from there!!! Good luck and God bless!!
2006-12-05 19:40:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until he asks you, and if he does, just tell him, i love you, but I don't feel ready yet. Would you please wait for me?
2006-12-05 19:41:21 · answer #9 · answered by Bubble T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you say no and he cant except it then you need another boyfriend
2006-12-05 19:40:26 · answer #10 · answered by wilkinson_1979 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋