been engaged for two days and he's hitting me?!?

Question

im engaged and lately my fiance has been acting weird... being very... abusive and aggresive and demanding of things..
he hit me.. and i cried and right after he did he said he'd never hurt me again.... Now i kno what you are thinking.. that i should just leave him. I love him so much and don't want to lose him. i think maybe its because all the stress and im just adding more on to his pain. is it my fault that he's so mad?? i try to do everything to keep him happy but its just worse .. should i leave him alone for a while?? he has never showed this side of himself to me before and i don't know what to do. everything was going fine until the moment after i said yes.

should i stay? should i leave?
plz help.. i wanna make this work for the best.

Answer 1

wat u should do iz pray & ask God if this is the guy u r suppose 2 marry.if not leave him & wait 4 mr.right.

Answer 2

It's not your fault...maybe go to marriage counseling??? (Telling him you just want to have someone like a third party helping prepare you for the wedding...help relieve some of the stress...not being specific....on which "stress" that is) Or maybe you yourself could go see a counselor or someone who could maybe asses the situation better. It does sound to me like he's being abusive, and no abuse should ever be accepted. If he continues to hit you, you should at least seperate from him for a bit, and maybe try to talk to him (once again, maybe therapy would be good then). Usually "abusers" seem "normal", until they know they've got u...and then they feel they can let go, it helps them feel in control...too in control. Personally, I would leave if you're really worried, you deserve someone who will respect you and treat you the way you deserve. Though it could be that it was just a reaction in the moment type of a deal, and nothing to worry about. In the end, you're the only person who can really make the decision...so good luck!

Answer 3

Stop blaming yourself!!!!

it s not your fault, If you love him have a word with him and ask him what the problem is and he is acting like that since you said that he has never done it before.
Askhim if he has financial problems because sometimes, you know, when men have financial problems get very stressed and due to this anxiety become violent.

If after the conversation keeps doing that then tell him to consult a professional or a family advisor and if he s not willing to do it threaten him that you are going to leave him.

Maybe he will realise what he s been doing.

Good luck and confide your parents too and remember that. If he really loves you, he won't hurt you again.

you have to understand if he is going through a difficult period or he is just like that and you never noticed.

Answer 4

Please, please think very carefully about this, Whatever bad things come out when you are engaged WILL, I MEAN REALLY WILL GET WORSE ONCE YOU ARE MARRIED!!!! If you are crying about this now consider how your situation will be after marriage and a few kids. I have a friend who left her husband after 10 years of marriage and 4 kids. She finally had the nerve to leave after he put a gun to her head. Before that she was always worrying whether his stress was her fault. He was demanding too , expecting her to keep everything perfect, perfect housekeeping, perfect image to all the neighbors yet behind closed doors he would hold her down and spit in her face. On the outside they were the perfect couple, good looking, money, churchgoing but at home it was a nightmare. He would do this behavior in front of the kids too. Calling her terrible names. If you think this cant happen to you , think again.. My friends marriage got slowly worse and worse until the gun incident! Don't let this be you!!!

Answer 5

Some people seriously think a tiger is a great pet and they try to keep it tamed as a pet. Well, you know what happens...It doesn't work! Even though the tiger really loves its owner, it lacks self control and is therefore not able to co-exist with people. I'm not calling your husband a wild animal but if he's got an problem keeping himself under control when he gets mad to the point where he breaks the GOLDEN RULE for every man, which is to NEVER strike a woman no matter what, than it's just not worth it!

Answer 6

PLEASE LEAVE HIM AND NEVER LOOK BACK.

He will hurt you again. He will. This happened with my mother. This happened with a friend. These guys will smack you around and later on, coax you back by being all loving and saying it'll never happen again.

Girl, if he loved you.....he wouldn't hurt you. There is no excuse for hurting someone you love. None. He wants to control you. Rule you. It's not about love.

I don't doubt that you love him.....but he's taking advantage of your love...taking you for granted by treating you like crap. You don't deserve to be abused, physically or emotionally. If he was a good and decent man, he would know that.

Stay away from him. Get a man who wouldn't even think of hitting you, or using some excuse for why he did it. There is no excuse. No apology worthy of it. You deserve better than what this man you are with now has to offer. Please. Do not stay. He will hurt you agian. He will. and it will get worse once he realises you'll never have the courage to leave him.

Answer 7

I want to be completely honest with you. My answer to your question is quite simple - no. You need to stop blaming yourself. He hit you, not the other way around. I don't mean to be insenstive but at least your not married yet. You can still leave him. I know he's said he would never do it again, but what happens if something new in his life makes him stressed again, does that mean he will hit you, you cry and he says sorry that it will never happen again. What would you do then?? I understand what it's like to be in love with someone, but no-one and i mean NO-ONE deserves to be assaulted, either physically or verbially. You need to look out for yourself and do what's right by yourself.

It will be hard, but you need to ask yourself...do you honestly love him that much to put up with him beating you everytime he gets stressed? You need to think long and hard. Call up one of your friends and have a good talk about it. And speak with a counsellor if necessary - I think you do need to see one if you honestly believe it's your fault he did this to you.

I honestly hope everything works out for you. Take care of yourself and never think for one second that you deserved any sort of assault. Chin up:)

Answer 8

I had a cousin who went through the exact same thing he didn't start to show his true self until she said that she would marry him she was still worried that she might be making a huge mistake in marring him so she prayed and asked God is he the one for her and each time the situation only got worse and she didn't marry him. So what you should do is leave him before the situation gets harder and harder to get out of. I understand that you want to make things work but sometimes the things that you are trying to work out aren't puzzles that need to solved.

Answer 9

Girl, this is called human nature 101. Once a man hits you it will never leave his mind that he did it and got away with it, trust me when I say he will do it again. He has absolutely no respect for you no matter how much you love him. Do yourself the biggest favor in life and leave now, don't wait. Men do not get a second chance in life on hitting a woman, only one per customer. I hate to sound like my father but one of his favorite sayings was "take care of your woman and never let any harm come to her".

Answer 10

Once he's hit you (especially before you're married) it'll never stop. I know you don't want to hear this, and you probably won't even believe that he'll do it again, but chances are, he will. And if you stay with him, he'll just think you'll never leave him. He's done the worse to you already and if you haven't left, he thinks he'll get away with other things. Maybe that was just his test to see how much he can get away with you. LEAVE HIM.

I've been there too.

Answer 11

Well if he's hitting u and after 2 days i would deffinately leave him cause he's just now getting used to u to being married. But when you have been married for like a month then he may do worse things cause he's even more used to being married to u and won't think anything of it. Don't let him think that u are scared or will let him do anything.