Was I in the wrong to get rid of the dog?
We have three cats, a lab and a chincilla not to mention fish. We live in a double wide trailer in a trailer park. We have two children 5 yr and 3 mon. My mom lives her with us. That makes a total of five people and 5 animals. I run a daycare during the day. With five children in it. They are here from 7-5 every day m-f. I work third shift three days a week. First shift saturday. Plus go to college full time two days a week. My fiance doesn't do anything. He just got a new job doing snow plowing but it hasn't snowed yet. I pay all the bills and provide everything for the children. My mom watches our children while i work and go to school and the daycare kids too. She takes our daughter to school in the morning and picks her up too. Even though her dad has nothing to do he doesn't do it. He usually leaves making up something to do. And is gone 75 percent of the time. Doing what ever. And yesterday he brought home a puppy. He didn't ask me if I wanted one. He just brought it here ...
2006-12-05 11:04:54 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pets ➔ Dogs
So he brings the dog here and of course my daughter is super happy and what not. I don't want the dog. We have enough to deal with. I mean he isn't going to be the one taking care of it. He doesnt scoop the poop or clean the carpet. He doesnt do anything fo rhte animals we have. He doesn't buy the food.
I mean we have kids here all day. I don't wnat any more stress to deal with.
We just had a baby, you'd think he would be interested in her and not a stupid dog.
So when one of the daycare kids mom came I asked her if she wanted it she said yes and took it home. Now last night he said he was goin to get rid of it and then after i did he is acting like a twoi year old. Keeps bring ing it up to the five year old so she will get sad and try to make me feel bad. So he is still pouting and throughing a hissy fit. He doesn't see if from my perspective. SO what i wrong...what would you have done?
2006-12-05 11:05:14 · update #1
No, you were not wrong.
Dogs cost money. A lot of money. You can't afford it. How does he think your daughter will feel when your dog dies because it gets sick and you can't afford the vet bill? You need to be able to look after your children, and the pets you already have.
Puppies take time. A LOT of time. It's like having another toddler in the house. You have your hands full already by the sound of it.
Your fiancee is childish and inconsiderate. If I were you I would consider freeing up more of my time and money by getting rid of him too......
2006-12-05 11:16:46 · answer #1 · answered by DaBasset - BYBs kill dogs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're in city limits, there might be a limit on the number of pets you're allowed to have in your home (here it's 3). You might already have too many pets. Furthermore, you don't know if one of those kids from daycare has a dog allergy, or if the puppy is from an aggressive breed, or even if it had any kind of shots or deworming. (And yes, backyard breeders do lie about those things.) You were right to get rid of the dog, especially if you and your mother are the ones who'd have to care for it.
It sounds like your fiance is angry because you gave away the puppy without consulting with him. If he'd been the one to give the dog away, it might not have bothered him. He's using your daughter to manipulate you, probably because he feels he has no power otherwise.
Men get like this (the way you described) when the woman is the one doing all the work and taking care of business. Give him something to do. Some responsibility that is his and his alone (taking your daughter to school, maybe, or taking care of the yard, or fixing something around the house). This will give him a chance to feel like a man. Once he shows he can be relied upon, give him some more responsibilities. This will help ease the burden on you and your mom, and it will help him feel like he has something to contribute.
2006-12-05 19:33:35 · answer #2 · answered by nosleepthree 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me as though the dog was not the real issue here. The issue is the relationship between you and your fiance. Based on what you said, it seems as though he is not doing his part in the relationships, and you should reconsider your marriage, because things will only get worse over time, not better. In my experience, I have seen this a million times. Your are right that he should not have brought home a dog without your permission (unless the dog needed help), but likewise, it should have been a family decision to give the dog away. It does seem like you have your hands full, though.
Just sit down with your fiance and talk with him about all of these issues you all are having and do your best to resolve them. He needs to get a better job, help with your child, ad help with the animals. If he is unwilling to do this, suggest marriage counseling or something similar. I'm sure that if you make some phone calls there will be several free services in your area. Finally, if he is unwilling to do counseling, the relationship needs to be seriously reconsidered. In the end, you have to do what is best for you, your daughter, and your pets.
2006-12-05 19:18:59 · answer #3 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT wrong! If your fiance wants a dog tell him to get a real job! One that he will make money at if it is snowing or not. Honestly, I would kick him out if he didnt start helping out. Your one person! And one person should NOT have to deal with that kind of stress alone. And with 5 people, and one income its insane. Your fiance uses the water dosent he? he turns on lights right? He can get off his lazy rump and help you out! Besides, the stress you are under with not only trying to raise your kids, take care of the animals, and work, can cause you to have a heart attack at a young age. It is not health. Not to mention a large arount of stress can also cause depression. (which is just a chemical imbalance in the brain making you feel well depressed) I would HIGHLY suggest setting some rules of some kind. Making him help you out around the house and with the kids or getting a Full Time job, or just get out. Right now hes being a bum. He knows he can get away with it, so why do anything else? Hunny, there are men out there that WILL treat you better, I'd make that clear to him and if he truly loves you and wants to marry you he will start acting like a real man and get a job.
P.s and besides its not like you dumped the dog out on a dirt road. You found it a good home. The only thing wrong is your Fiance.
2006-12-05 19:26:47 · answer #4 · answered by o_state05 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before your boyfriend bought the dog into the household it should have been discussed with you not take it for granted it was to be OK with already so many pets and other people in the hosehold,
Sound like you put in more than 150% of your time,oney, support and your boyfriend is in -% ifhe isn't working, Been down this road boyfriend would not work or do anything at all, didn't pay any bills, buy any food, did not clean, he sat and watched TV, slept in my bed and ate my food,, he moved out because I ask him to get a job and help, he just died last week in another state and left me to handle all funeral arrangement, because he would not work or try and help he died homeless and penniless, if your friend is going to add more work for you maybe he need to re-think was he is doing to help with bills, children, pets etc, rahter than bring more for you.
2006-12-05 19:35:56 · answer #5 · answered by CJ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Bringing a pet home should always be a family decision. He shouldn't have done it without discussing it with you first. From how busy your life is right now, it sounds like it's way to hectic for you to take a puppy on right now anyway. I think you made the right choice, assuming the puppy ended up in a good home that has the time to care for it properly.
2006-12-05 19:19:57 · answer #6 · answered by Shadow's Melon 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you were not in the wrong to get rid of the dog. He didn't ask you if he could get one and you do have all the children to take care of and don't have the time to make sure it is house broken and not chewing up every thing in your house. Next time he wines tell him to grow up and next time think to ask you first if you would mind since you make all the money and you and your Mom do all the work around the house.
2006-12-05 19:10:35 · answer #7 · answered by guysmommy_09142001 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no i think you are just in your actions...you have enough on your plate as of right now. but my only concern is if the puppy went to a good home or to a shelter...the best best would be to keep it there until you find a good home for it. Shelters, although puppies are the most adopted animals, may put him to sleep after a month or two. Goodluck and i think you were right in your actions
i vote get rid of the boyfriend/husband...he seems like he doesnt do enough to take care of you or your family.
2006-12-05 19:08:44 · answer #8 · answered by cherrydevil119 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think what you did was the right thing. Tell your husband to grow-up and get over himself...I would have gotten rid of him along with the dog...Tell your daughter that you wouldn't have been able to care for the dog and the puppy wouldn't be happy with all the cats in the home...Try to make her happy...or get her a new barbie or something.
2006-12-05 19:16:56 · answer #9 · answered by Crazie Gurl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you need to get rid of your fiance... or at least make him start doing something!!! It is not your responsiblilty to take care of everything. If he is going through a hard time in his life or something, he needs to be nudge back to the real world. If he is just plain lazy, this will never be a good situation for you and if he isn't willing to accept some responsibility, then he needs to go.
2006-12-05 19:10:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋