How do punish a 6 year old child that lies, cheats, swears...?

Question

NEVER stops talking, does innappropriate things (such as the middle finger and holding his privates and peeing in cups) ... I don't understand how he got that way. At school his teacher complains all the time about how he talks all the time and never follows directions and is a slow worker. At home he swears at his sister, then lies to us about it. Is this the parents fault? How can we change it. How do you punish that kind of action?

Answer 1

1. Do not tell the child he is bad. Tell him that you love him very much and it is his behavior that is bad.
2. Be consistent with your disciplining. If you have him sit at an empty table for 10 minutes, do it every time so he will understand that he is going to be held responsible for misbehavior every time.
3. Discipline like you mean it. My daughters always knew when I was serious, they called it my "Mama Voice."
4. Make sure the punishment fits the behavior. Be consistent, but do not over punish.
5. Set punishment for specific behaviors and post them on the fridge.
6. Make sure that you offer positive reinforcement when he behaves. If not, it will seem that he only gets your attention when he acts out.
7. Make a chart for days of the week. Let him start the week with a generous number of points. If he maintains an appropriate number of points by the end of the week he gets a treat. ie: go swimming, go to the park, something he wants, but do not make it terribly ellaborate. Keep it Simple. Every time he misbehaves discipline him appropriately then ask him how many points he would have you take away, discuss why and how many with him so he can state his case. At the end of the day review his daily behaviors and total his points. Remind him how many points he will need at the end of the week and how he will be rewarded.
You can let his teacher in on your methodology and she may send a note home every day with a grade such as acceptable, unacceptable, outstanding for his behavior. Set a number of points for these grades to be added/deducted on his daily score.
8. Monitor the type of entertainment he is exposed to, ban him from inappropriate television, video games, music. Create a "safe" environment for him.
9. Spend time with your child. It could be bath time if you have a tight schedule. It could be reading a book before bed. It could be discussing his day then saying prayers. It is important that children realize their "worth" outweighs their misbehavior so they don't think since they are "bad" you will throw them away.

Answer 2

IS it the parents' fault? If you know the parents have never done anything to set a bad example for him, then it probably isn't their fault. It's possible that he has learned this bad behavior from television somehow. If you know the parents probably did something to make him like that, look into that. His problems probably started from there.

I really don't know the situation and what has happened, but maybe he has a psychological problem. Did something traumatic or even semi-traumatic happen to him? Does he have ADD? There are many questions to ask yourself. Has he always been like this or did his behavior change dramatically all of a sudden? If it did, then you might want to look into it. Again, I don't know your situation, so you just have to ask yourself these kinds of questions. Before you think about punishment, ponder these questions and if you think he has a problem, take him to see a professional.

If he is just naughty, try to establish your power as a parent. Make sure he is calm and talk to him in a stern voice if he does not listen. The first thing you want to try is to establish the ground rules, what he is not allowed to do, and what are the consequences of doing something wrong. I really wouldn't resort to spanking or hitting because, chances are, if he does have some sort of emotional problem, spanking will only further the problem. You could try timeouts. If he does not sit still, order him to back to the corner (or whatever). You can take away his toys and he might learn not to do the bad things that he is doing.

This is not punishment, but you could try something encouraging as well. You can tell him he gets a star for every day that he behaves well and when he gets a certain number, he gets a new toy or something like that.

Answer 3

I would have a discussion with her. She is old enough at this point to understand the consequences of her actions. Talk about people not liking her when she lies to them. I would also take away some privileges when you catch her in a lie. Link the privileges specifically to her action. It will take more than once restricting privileges to get the message across. It is important to be consistent about consequences as well. Emphasize how disappointed you are in her when she lies. If she doesn't change her actions within a couple of weeks, I would perhaps lie to her about something big as an illustration point. Not something cruel, but something memorable. Then talk to her afterward about how she felt when she found out and try to get across that you and her mother feel the same way when she lies to you.

Answer 4

He may have some kind of developmental problems or learning disabilities and frustrated about it or trying to act tough to cover it up. Demand a child study at school and have the school system test him for learning disabilities and such. The school may not want to but it's the law and your right to figure out what is best for your child. Good luck!

Answer 5

I had mine sit in the chair with a bar of soup in the mouth for about a half hour . IT WORKED . Taste is a great recall . Ill bet you can imagine right now what soap taste like but really how many times have you actually tasted it ? NOT MANY!!! And all the things you want the kid to stop doing come from ... THE MOUTH.

Answer 6

Sounds like he has a lot of energy.
Definitely needs rules and consistency from parents... also maybe needs to be made to run around a lot.
When my kid gets narky I know that it is time to get active... tire him out and he will show less resistance. I promise.
Bike riding, swimming, running... some team sport... go to the park and throw a ball.
hope this helps.
Cheers
Ruby

Answer 7

I think you should talk to you family doctor and tell them what your son is doing. It does sound like ADHD,but it also sounds like he might have a mood disorder as well. My child was just diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and she does a lot of the same things your son is doing,so please check with your doctor cause you just might find out it is not you fault at all, and you can find out what kind of action to take.

Answer 8

That kind of stuff isn't great. Yes, it is the parent's fault. Is he afraid of anything? If he is.. trick him! That is the only way! If he's afraid of a clown.. get a clown suit and scare him! LAter, you must say stuff like... If you be naughty again.. I'll eat all your toys away and take away all the candy there is in the world.. or something like that.

Answer 9

Am I the only educated one here? Hey Jennifer Dalpne? Go ahead, wash a little kid's mouth out with soap and let them tell on you. THAT IS CHILD ABUSE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! IT IS POISENOUS. THERE IS LYE IN SOAP. GET A FRIGGIN CLUE!

Whew! I thought DHHS or CPS made foster/adoptive parents get training. LOL! That is a joke. Ever heard of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder? Then try looking at how you two parents or his biological parents acted. I would be willing to guess it is poor understanding and parenting. Ever considered, as bad as their parents may have been, they still love them and miss them and are acting out? Get him on meds for ADHD. NOW! CPS loves handing out drugs to kids, guinne pigs if you will.

At 6 years old, I would have to say that you may need some parenting classes along with your hubby or dad of the kid. You need to quit yelling at him all the time, and find something for him to do that benefits him, not you. Can you take about 5 minutes ever hour every day and make him feel he is important and that you care about him even though you are not his real Mom? Can you stop over reacting everytime he says a bad word? Letting him know it makes you mad will only let him know it pushes your buttons? Can you try to catch him being good and don't talk about him like you did here in front of him or even not in front of him because he is probably right around the corner listening to you complain about him? Can you treat him like a damaged child instead of rotten because my tax dollars are paying you to treat him as what he is? Damaged? Not bad?

You need to let him know he is loved, wanted and worth your attention, not negative but positive. Your words tell me that you are not his real Mom. Just call the social worker and tell her you are not a qualified foster parent who is able to figure out how to help him.

Answer 10

I would have whopped my child from here to eternity, but I cannot say that . The Yahoo police will be cutting me off.