sisters getting married... dont like her fiance?

Question

i probably should have mentioned this. my sister knows that he cheated and so does the rest of my family. he lies a lot and even got kicked out of the army because he fell asleep on duty. he also got his license suspended but didnt tell anyone. when they were moving... he got pulled over for reckless driving and got put in jail. bail was 2000. they didnt have any money so we had to pay. he just seems like such a loser. i do want to support... but how can i when its just going to end badly. but i do think that some of you are right and should try my best to support her

Answer 1

Your sister is going to have to learn the hard way. The more you try to tell her that he is a loser the tighter she will want to hold on. Trust me I dated a loser. The more people tried to convince me that he was loser and that I should dump him the more excuse I came up with for a what a "great" guy he was.

You are just going to have to suck it up and support her as best as you can. Also you never know he could make up for things he's done in the past. Do you always want to be known for mistakes you made in the past?

Either way it is your sister's life and she's got to live it. The best you can do is make sure your sister knows that she has someplace to go if she needs it. This way if she does decide to leave she'll leave knowing she has somewhere to go.

Answer 2

All you can do is tell her how you feel, why you think the marriage would be a big mistake and if she doesn't already know about the things he's done then tell her those too! Tell her that he wont change just because he's married if that is what she is thinking!
Stay calm about it and stress that you are only thinking of her future happiness and that you will love and support her whatever she decides! If she goes ahead and marries him, All you can do is be there for her if it does end in failure, You cant decide what is right for her! Good luck !

Answer 3

The only thing you can do is sit her down and say while I respect your decisions and you know that I love you because you are my sister and I don't want to see you get hurt. But I don't like your fiance and then tell a few reasons why you don't like him but don't go over the top. Tell her however that because you love her you will be therefore her whenever she needs help, but you just want her be really think carefully about what she is doing.

At the end of the day it will be her decision but tell her that you will stand by her no matter what she does but tell her your opinion of him.

Answer 4

My half sister is your sister basically. I choose to not support as it became a part that it affected my life/safety. That is where I drew the line. If she didn't care about my life and safety, then I can't be around watching her not care about her and her baby's.

Some people disagree and others totally agree. The matter is, it is what you feel is appropriate and what you feel is best to do for yourself as well.

She choose him and that is the life she wants. Have to respect her on that but you are not entitled to support her choice in it either.

Just attend the wedding and still wish her well though. Be the sister. Just because you are attending doesn't mean you support the marriage. Just means you are there for her.

Just have to know inside what the difference is and assert your limits.

Answer 5

It's really not up to you to decide or do anything about it. She is her own person. If you do say anything to her she may very well rebell on you. I suggest you not say a word. If she knows who she is marrying then let her worry about it. I am 3rd to youngest of 11 children 10 girls and 1 boy. I have learned not to try and talk someone out of a big mistake. You must let her learn for herself. She will probably ome around after she is married, but still all you can really do is be there for her when things do not work out! You want to keep her close to you. Do not do anything to make her push you away! Especially in cases like this, she will need you if something goes wrong.........

Answer 6

Have a private talk with her. Tell her that you love her very much and are concerned that she is making a mistake. But also tell her that you respect her right to make her own decisions, will be at her wedding and she can call on you anytime she needs you, because you are her sister and you love her no matter what she does. That way, when things get bad.... and they will.... she will not feel she cannot come to you for support and help. She'll know who her real family is. :o)

Best Wishes,

Sue

Answer 7

I understand your concerns, and I can say from personal experience that the more you tell her he's a "bad" boy the more she'll defend him. I was married for nearly 10 years to a man that was totally unsuitable, and my mother tried to force the issue by making me choose. I chose him, and my mother and I spent more than 7 years not talking due to her speaking her concerns and trying to make me see "sense". Now I'm happily remarried, and I knew that I could contact my mother and she's helped me rebuild my life. Just be there for her, and sooner or later, she'll hopefully realise just what the situation is.

I wish you the best of luck and your sister too =)

Answer 8

Your sister's getting married here! That is the biggest moment ever and she should want to spend it with someone that is truly right for her and won't hurt her. The first wedding of your life is supposed to be perfect.
Talk to her hun, tell her you love her and want her to be happy but, you don't think this guy is right for her. Tell her that she deserves better and does she really love this man and does she want to spend the rest of her life paying for his bail and putting up with his foolish antics?
Best of wishes babe =]

Answer 9

Beck - She may be making the biggest mistake of her life!!!! But - it's her choice to make - tell her one last time how you feel - because you love her and wants what's best for her. After you have told her one last time - support her. Love her and try your hardest to not let this man in between your relationship. He may never change and they may end up divorced, but that's her decision and mistake to make. That's what I would do.

Answer 10

Kinly, you should point out some of those situations to her. If she doesn't find those situations suspision or not the kind of thing her dream man would do it's her choice. Don't force anything, it'll just end up with you at the blame. Only suggest.