my sisters getting married and her fiancé is a jerk. he messed around with my other sister while he was dating his "now" fiancé. he embarrassed her (my other sister) in front of all her friends by undoing her bathing suit top and describing in DETAIL what they did together. anyways... shes asked me to be her maid of honor. i dont want to say no because shes my sister, but by saying yes, would it be saying that i think its Ok to marry him. my other sister says i shouldnt but im not sure. either way ill be disappointing someone.she just moved away to take care of his grandmother who has Alzheimer’s and i have a feeling that shes only doing this to get away from my dad.
2006-12-05 10:41:10 · 16 answers · asked by Kate 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
at the end of the day its your sisters choice who to marry your only decision is if you will be there for her as she seems to want, the only thing i suggest is one the day have a quiet word and just ask " are you sure this is what you want" if it is end of story give her a hug and make sure she is as happy as can be
2006-12-05 10:46:38 · answer #1 · answered by grahamralph2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is Your SISTER's life not your's You don't get to pick and choose who she marries. DATING means just that by the way. Dating doesn't mean a relationship, it means getting out and getting to know people of the opposite sex and enjoying the company of them. So the guy was basically "dating" both of your sisters. So WHAT! It's really none of your business. You have a choice either you can disappoint your sister on her wedding day by not accepting the invitation to be Maid of Honor or you can be the better person and make your sister happy. Sounds to me as if you're just a tad spoiled anyway if you were my sister I wouldn't invite you to be maid of honor, I doubt I'd invite you to the wedding at all.
2006-12-05 18:56:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This sounds like a tough situation. I would sit down with your sister and tell her how you feel and that the only reason you would participate in the wedding is because you support her and want her to be happy but that you really do not think she is making the right decision. Does she knew he cheated on her? I would stress to her that she can do better and that it will be hard to leave him but she can truly be happy with a man that will treat her like a princess. These things are hard and most times the other person doesn't listen and has to wait till they learn on their own that they shouldn't be with that person. Good Luck, hang in there I know it's hard to see people we love making obvious bad decisions. But you can't change her, just support her.
2006-12-05 18:45:55 · answer #3 · answered by Harpomyminischnauzer 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should communicate this feeling you have about the whole thing to your sister (the one getting married). Dont tell her you dont support her getting married to this "jerk" but just tell her how you feel about being the maid of honor. Maybe this conversation will lead the two of you into having the other converstation about the "jerk" boyfriend and maybe it will give her something to think about.
2006-12-05 21:51:58 · answer #4 · answered by Yahoo User 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man that is a toughy - too bad you can't talk her out of it NOW - sounds like a recipe for divorce ahead to me. Think of it this way, it is one day in your life where you have to stomach this guy the whole day - just like you will in the future and have in the past. Be her bridesmaid anyway, and tell your other sister, you are only doing it to support the bride even though you don't agree with her taste in men, this is her day, it is her life and she's gonna marry who she wants to regardless.
2006-12-05 18:52:29 · answer #5 · answered by GirlUdontKnow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her what he did thats if she dont know all ready, and leave it up to her, at the end of the day if she loves him so much, what ever you say to her may or may not change a thing, but then again if you say to much you might push her away, just try and be happy for her.
2006-12-05 18:54:14 · answer #6 · answered by briancousins@btinternet.com 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Complicated stuff this.....
As adults we make adult decisions - that's what we do....
If she's decided to marry him - it's her choice and perhaps you should say yes to being her bridesmaid because you're her sister. You don't have to like her choices. What would happen if she was marrying someone you did approve of and the dress she picked was really sh***y - you'd wear it wouldn't you? Same thing really.
You don't have to live with him she does and he seems to make her happy. Go with the flow and don't spoil her big day.
2006-12-05 18:46:32 · answer #7 · answered by shimmy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all sounds like a storyline off a soap opera if you as me. Perhaps the best way about this comlicated situation is to support her, obviously, but if you feel you need to talk to her about it, then by all means do it one-to-one, although whan all's said and done, it's all up to your sister.
The big challenge is trying not to tread on too many eggshells.
2006-12-05 19:04:25 · answer #8 · answered by mr_carburettor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my gosh, thats messed up - does ur sister know that ur other sister slept with him?
he sounds like a jerk, u are in a pickle. can u explain to her that u love her but think she can do better? even thou u hate him, i think u should be maid of honour, ur not doing it for him but for her after all
good luck!x
2006-12-05 18:46:10 · answer #9 · answered by keeley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow nasty one the sister who cheated AS Well dosent deserve perhaps the same thought as your other sister, but dont not be there for here they may last stranger things have happened. best wishes
2006-12-05 18:55:18 · answer #10 · answered by Diane E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋