how can i decipline my 7yr.old and 3 yr. old without spanking?how do i control myself?

Question

how can i decipline my children with out screaming and spanking. i've tryed the corner for my 3 yr. old and that does not work, turning off the tv and that does not work, what can i do to decipline my 3yr. old in a better way? my 7 yr. old is a slow learner like i was when i was young, i have no patience with nobody i get angry very fast and i hate to see my 7 yr. old get screamed and pulled from the hair and hit on the head and be called put down names, please help me how can i control myself. my mother treated me the same way and i don't want to do the same to my kids, i want to treat them better and have paitence with them, do fun things with them be a good mother and not a bitter mean mother. yes i know i need professional help but where and how can i get it? i'm treating her like a stepdaughter when she's my real daughter. my hubby treats her better than me when he's the the real father. how can i be a better mother? on line where can i find a web about parenting?

Answer 1

You might want to consider placing your child in "Time Out" as a form of discipline. One minute for each year they are old. That gives you time away from the situation and them time to think about what they have done. We use the staircase for our child's time out area. Make sure your child is left alone with no toys, bears, etc.

It may take some time to get your child to sit in one place for a few minutes, but I think it is better than spanking. Our child sometimes screams when placed in time out. You have to ignore them while they are being punished. After time out is over, explain to your child why they were in time out and that you hope they learned from it. Give them a hug and send them on their way. We use the microwave timer to help remind us so that we do not exceed the set time.

My wife has a subscription to Parenting magazine. We have also looked at http://parenting.ivillage.com/jump for additional answers.

Good luck in your efforts. Don't forget your not alone. Many parents have the same issue as you do. Our child has taken to spitting. Apparently another child at day care was doing it, so now we have to explain that it is not appropriate.

Answer 2

First of all you can contact your local hospital and see if they have any information on parenting classes or counseling that you could take , most people will understand that you are not a child beater and would just like to help you deal with this issue . Instead of using the corner maybe use a chair or even a rug , make them sit in time out for 3 minutes for the 3 year old , and 7 minutes for the 7 year old , it's one minute for every year of age . You could also start a how I was today chart , reward them when they do well with stickers , or tickets , and take one away when they do not do as they should , then when daddy comes home they can show daddy how well they did and get praise from you both . Also anytime daddy is home you can always just walk away from it and let him deal with it ( or make him if he is reluctant ) so that you can calm down a bit and remind yourself that you don't want to be like your mom . The doing thing is you see that it needs to change , I promise their are people who will help you if you just find them .

Answer 3

I do not intend to insult you but think the first thing you need is to see somebody about your issues. You know its wrong to treat kids that way but do it anyway. Please seek counseling.

There is nothing wrong with a spanking despite what some try to make you believe. But you must learn to never let your anger control your actions. If you need to, walk away for a few minutes and get yourself under control. Then talk to the children and explain what they did in a calm but firm manner. Then punish as appropriate for what they did. And once the punishment has been meted out, drop it completely and do something to show them that you still love them. Children respond well to that method.

Answer 4

Your son would be feeling separation rigidity. In some tactics this isn't any diverse than a divorce. He knows that some thing got here approximately and Daddy left. He would be blaming himself for Daddy's "disappearance". discuss with him and enable him understand which you permit out Dad too and that he would be decrease back quickly, etc. it could help to alleviate the region. in spite of everything, if he thinks Daddy "disappeared" he would think of you will bypass away him as nicely. With my 4 year previous, i got here upon it grow to be extra useful to place his toys in "day holiday". I make a huge production out of the toy being undesirable and wanting day holiday to think of approximately it. It serves the point of taking the toy removed from him at the same time as nevertheless permitting him to experience like i'm no longer continually punishing him. The toy you eliminate from him would not would desire to be the toy that he have been given into difficulty with the two. lots of the time I punish his well known blanket/crammed toy, whether it grow to be a tactics away on the time. the element is to eliminate some thing he needs, no longer a toy he would not care too lots approximately. additionally in case you're at domicile during the tantrum or misbehavior, attempt doing the comparable element he did only exaggerate it to the factor to silliness. from time to time seeing his habit in others motives him to re-examine his own habit. focus on the stable habit and advantages it each and each time a threat. verify to confirm if there are the different persons on your section that have a companion deployed. from time to time having a place to bypass and play can get out a number of those emotions too.

Answer 5

Of course putting them in the corner isn't working. How would you like to be shoved in the corner for acting up? How would that make you feel? It'd make you feel unworthy for bad behavior which is a terrible way to punish someone. Just because you did something wrong doesn't mean you aren't a good person.

I think you need to try other methods of discipline. Taking away toys, privileges, etc. And if they still don't listen then continue with the spankings. Make sure you aren't spanking out of frustration or anger though.

Answer 6

go in the yellow pages and check out parenting groups in your area. try separating the kids if they are fighting. make them sit facing each other but apart until they want to make up. don't get angry with them just keep putting them back where they were until they calm down and want to talk about it. you need to be the moderator, teach them how to communicate. As for punishments, if they are hitting each other, they don't get to play with each other for a while, if they are throwing toys, they don't get the toys for a while, if they are fighting over what show to watch, they don't get TV. then find something else for them to do and make them do it. help with dinner or fold clothes... read to them, bake cookies, keep them so busy they can't misbehave. Love them lots and count to ten when you are mad instead of disciplining right away. then you can think of a natural consequence to their actions, remember, whatever you teach them is how they will treat your grandbabies...good luck and thank-you for trying your best to raise the future of our world.