What am i doing wrong??why cant i force myself to be attracted to the good guy?

Question

Hi i am an 18 year old going to be 19 and in college shy/quiet for most part only really social around friends but i like going out and am a good girl for the most part who has a bad streak 5% to 10% of the time. My first bf was a bad boy and he broke my heart but took everything i had to give first (he was my first everything). Anyway i have tried dating good guys like the kind you meet at church and others types my parents pushed the idea and i tried but i am not attracted to them?And now i am falling hard for a bad boy again!

He is from the same college as me 21 years old and likes to party but he makes me feel special and treats me well for the most part.

Answer 1

I can sympathise with your situation - unfortunetly even tho I have gone through quite a few boys in the past few years, it always seems to be the bad boys that I attract.

I have had my eyebrow busted open by one guy,(had to get 3 stitches) I have had another guy who got all his gangster friends to smash the front windows of my house and try to steal my car, another one was actually married and played me for a whole month. 90% of the guys I've gone out with have been locked up and most of them usually don't work and are going absolutely no where with their lives.

I can't give you much advice, you can't just switch off certain feelings you may have for a person and you can't force yourself to change the types of people you are attracted to.

What you do need to do is be very careful. It may seem like these guys are just having fun and will one day grow outta it but in my experience some of the "bad boys" I have known for the past 10 years are only getting worse as they get older. I reckon when they are 40 years old they will still be the same, hanging out in the street, casuing trouble, terrorising people. It's like the devil is in them and they stop caring about friends, family and others they grew up with.

Good luck - follow your heart and always remember that you deserve to be treated good no matter how "bad" your boy is.

Answer 2

You can't choose who you fall for nor can you force yourself to fall for the "good guys". You probably like the bad boys because you're a "good girl" and they say "opposites attract", therefore your clashing personalities make it much more interesting for you. Don't worry about it, you'll get over that eventually, and if not, maybe you're just meant for the "bad boys".

Answer 3

Come on Jennifer, it is time to grow up, you know the deal, so why are you setting your self up, again! Why not just date, and have fun, just don't get involved, with no one at this point, bad or good guys, just concentrate on school. Don't go and get yourself entwine into something, that you will regret! Have a great holiday!