Tipping? Is this stingy or does it sound OK?

Question

We frequent restaurants with servers quite often. Depending on where we go, our bill comes out to anywhere from $10 to $20. If the server is attentive, i.e., refills our drinks, and is at least polite/cordial, we will tip the server $5; however, we have been known to tip $10 if the service goes above and beyond, and one time we tipped $20 (on a $13 or $14 food bill). Do we need to tip more? I can't help but feel that $5 is not enough. I'm sure in the bigger cities like LA and New York, I bet they tip a whole lot more than $5 or $10. (We live in an big college town in Oklahoma -- population 15,000 -- and we have lots of restaurants here. We also occasionally dine in Tulsa as well -- which is a major city of 300,000. Maybe we need to tip more in Tulsa?)

We are not "rich". Me and husband -- no kids; just two cats -- earn less than $30,000 between the two of us. He receives SSDI for a refractory seizure disorder.

Answer 1

Your tipping is high. General rule is 10-15% on adequate service, not including tax; 20% for excellent service, 5% or less if the service is poor and absolutely nothing if the experience is unpleasant.

Maybe you get free stuff with high tipping, or maybe you just want to act rich (you claim you're not). Maybe you get off throwing your money away. Personally I'd rather donate my money to the red cross or cancer research than funding a Saturday night drunk for a waitress, but that's me and this is what you enjoy doing.

Regardless, while all the servers answering you will say you're doing just great, here in LA normal people don't come close to tipping what you give.

Answer 2

First of all, generous tipping is a good policy because servers depend on tips for their survival. Most restaurants pay at least minimum wage, but most people don't realize that restaurants ARE NOT required to pay that much BECAUSE of the tips. The person waiting your table might only be making $3 an hour from their boss, and it's perfectly legal. They have to report and pay taxes on their tips, by the way, and many restaurants require them to split tips with bus boys and/or cooks. Some servers even have to "pool" their tips to split EVENLY amongst all the other servers. How is that fair, when some servers are doing exceptional work and others are horrible? So once again, generous is always best.

For the math, think of it this way:

15% is pretty much a bare minimum for decent service (the server did their job and was attentive.) You can always use the sales tax as a guide, if it is 8 percent in your state then just double it. It really doesn't matter where you are, because the amount of the bill will be a good indicator of what the tip should be. If the city is an expensive place to live (and remember, the servers live there!), then the menu pricing will reflect that. And fancier, more expensive restaurants will dictate a higher tip because they (hopefully) have a higher standard of service and hire only very experienced servers.

Think also about the number of people in your party. It takes more work to serve 3 people than it does to serve 2 - try to give the server a few extra bucks for a few extra people.

You might also want to add a little bit more if you are ordering several courses (appetizers and/or dessert,) since that takes more work than a single course.

Leave less if the service stinks. Leave more if they were fabulous. Good luck!

Answer 3

i am a server and from what you are saying you are already a good tipper. if everyone would tip $5 when they sat at my tables then i would be a happy server. on larger bills (50 and up) we really appreciate at least 15% (10% is about as insulting as calling us the help) we definitely appreciate 20% really whether or not you should tip more in one city than the other is whether or not their cost of living is higher. and also in cities where the cost of living is higher the servers often get paid hourly. i don't get offended when people ask me if i get paid hourly or not (where i live i only get paid 2.13 an hour) if you're in a city where the cost of living is really high and they still get paid the 2.13 then you would want to tip well but from what it sounds like you are the dream guest that i love getting at my table. and definitely we appreciate the bigger tips for being good servers. there are some poeple it doesn't matter how good you are they still tip the same!

Answer 4

Actually, you are following the typical guideline, which is 15 to 20 percent. If you are unsure, you can always just double the tax (depending where you live - in CA, it is 8.25%, which gives a little more than the guideline).

My son works in an upscale restaurant and tipping is a big thing for the employees, who make minimum wage. We should keep in mind that we are tipping good service, not because we have to. You should not tip more, unless you think the service was exemplary. If your bills is $20, your tip should be $5, no matter what city you live in.

The link below also provides who you should NOT tip. :p

Answer 5

Tipping anywhere from 20% to 25% is very good. 15% is minimum. 10% or less is stingy. In Michigan, I learned that the pay is $2.65 an hour...and similar in IL and IN.

Sometimes the drinks not being refilled as fast as you like is not a good indicator of a good server. People drink at different rates. Generally, I get a refill with the meal (unless it's coffee, then there should be a busser to come around filling that cup). Best indicator of a good server is, Did you get your food hot? If it is cold, it was sitting the window WAITING to be sent. If it took a long time, but it is HOT, means the chef is behind in the kitchen, and the food was taken as soon as it was done.

Answer 6

I live in NYC. Tax is 8.something percent. I always double the tax.

If my meal is very cheap (like under 10 bucks) I leave 2 bucks, 3 bucks tops, just double the tax on that and round up in that scenario.

Saying that people pay servers so cheaply and expect patrons to make up the rest of their salary is just annoying to me. Restaurants should pay servers more, so we can leave a normal tip and enjoy our meal without feeling guilty! I always tip and tip extra for better service but a tip is supposed to be optional. I have had many horrible waiters and if they stunk, no tip or low tip.

It isn't my responsibilty to "pay" the salaries of servers. It is my responsibilty to tip them for serving me but I shouldn't be guilted into anything or go bankrupt anytime I want to go into a restuarant!

Answer 7

I think $5 on a $20 tab is a good tip. At alot of places the servers do have to "tip out" the busboy, cook, hostess. So when you think of this, your server is only getting $2. At these places I always give more (I don't think it's rude to ask although I don't ask my server). I have been known to give extra tips to busboys who go beyond their duties and provide me with better service than my waitress. Also, if a server, not my own, gives me better service I have given a tip directly to them.

Answer 8

The general rule of thumb on tipping is to start at 15%. On a $10 check, 15% is $1.50, so I'd say your tip is quite generous.

Answer 9

Five is more than enough for a bill of $10 to $20. If managment doesn't feel guilty about underpaying them you shouldn't feel guilty about how much you tip.

Answer 10

I agree, it's hard for me to leave a tip of less than a fiver, even if the bill is only $10 or $15. Consider it an early holiday gift to your server. :o)