tapping my sons hands?

Question

My son is one year old and I was wondering if anyone figures that I am a bad parent if I tap my sons hand and tell him no if he touches something that he shouldn't. for example my computer or the garbage can. I would only like serious answers please.

Answer 1

You are not a bad parent...many people think that spanking or whatnot is bad, but that's not even close to that. Your son needs to learn and as a parent, it's your duty to make sure your child grows up as an obediant young man. I thilnk it is a great idea to do it and it will show him correction w/o hurting him.

Answer 2

No, it's fine. As long as you don't tap too hard. He'll get the point. It's not like you're slapping him and throwing him across the room just because he touched something. Small kids don't really have a big vocabulary. So telling him you don't appreciate him touching your stuff will not be as effective as a "no" and a small tap on the back of the hand. It's how I was raised and how I dicipline my kids. I'm fine and they'll be fine, and your son will be fine. There is a big broad line between abuse and simple, gentle, but firm dicipline. And you're far far far away from it with a little tap on the back of the hand.

Answer 3

You should watch Supernanny tonight - she is helping a family with a mom who hits as discipline. This may give you some perspective on things and how to handle him when he gets older. I came from a household of "hands-on" discipline - it wasn't good! Tapping his hand may turn into something worse for you as he gets older and starts really developing his personality - you may start to feel that tapping isn't enough and go to yanking his arm or pinching him, or even smacking...

By the way - you are not a "bad parent" - if you were you wouldn't be concerned with trying to be a good one! :0) Just educate yourself on what the "experts" say about parenting and make educated choices! There is such a thing as educated ignorance - when you know better and you just don't care. That's probably not you, so don't worry!

Answer 4

You are doing just fine. You aren't harming him by doing that but I have read that slapping hands can be bad. Perhaps not though. There are so many people out there that will come up with anything to keep people from disciplining their kids. You do your children a lot more good by being a firm parent that by not. Think of all the little horrors you've seen in public and ask yourself if that is what you want your child to be like.

Answer 5

I tap my 21 month old son's hands. I also use a stern voice when correcting him. If he get's out of hand, I pick him up & we go in the other room away from item he is trying to play with that is not for him.

I do not think you are a bad parent.

Answer 6

First of all you are not a bad parent for having bounderies - my only concern is that if you tap your childs hand to get his attention then he may model that behavior as he gets older and when he's playing w/ his friends when he's 2 then he may do the same thing to them and you (and the other parent) may not feel good about that. I would just remove his hand from whatever you don't want him to touch and say "no touching" and of course, be consistent. He'll get it after a few times!
Good luck!

Answer 7

This sounds pretty reasonable to me.
At one year old it's not like you can give him a long explanation about why he can't touch stuff.
I'm assuming here it's really just a tap, not a swat, a strike or a hit. A tap will bring his attention to his hand, and help him to associate the "no" with the offending limb/activity.
Just my opinion. I'm actually better with dogs...

Answer 8

I don't personally believe in spanking, even tapping.

Some people say that the poorly behaved kids you see are a result of parents not spanking their kids any more. I disagree - I think there are so many methods out there, that parents try multiple methods at the same time: time-outs, maybe spanking, maybe taking a toy away...

The key to discipline, no matter what it is, is consistency. Every time a child exhibits an unwanted behavior, they get the same reaction.

For a child that young, it's also good to limit the "No" situations. We tend to say "No" so unevenly - one day it's okay if he picks up something of yours, the next day you're in a hurry and you say "No". "No, don't stand up in the chair. No, don't touch that. No, no juice right now". Instead try, "Chairs are for sitting", "The computer is for Mommy" instead of "No".

A good example: we have a barbecue in our backyard - clearly a "No". Because it is so dangerous, I have never waivered in my "No touch, HOT". My voice is different, etc. As a result, he has never ever gone near one, not even new ones in the hardware store.

Answer 9

I dont think u are being too strict at all. The majority of parents spank there children whether people admit it or not. My son is 15 months and i smack his hand and bottom at times when he is being very naughty. It teaches them that the things they are doing is wrong, there is nothing wrong with that, Smacking is not beating your child..Its a better way then raising your voice and cursing in my opinion. Dont let noone tell u its wrong because those are prob the people whos kids run all over them and disrespect 24/7.

Answer 10

Tapping to emphasize your point and get his attention is ok. It is not ok to slap him though. You are not trying to cause pain, just get his attention. You are not a bad parent, on the contrary, you are a good parent in that you are trying to correct him and keep him safe. Too many parents are so afraid of correcting their children that they are raising little hellions that nobody enjoys being around.

Answer 11

I think that tapping is fine. I have babysat many times before and found out that when you tap them they get startled and won't do it again ... As long as you are in the room. When they get older then maybe go to more harsher punishments, But that is all up to you because you are the parent.