My fiancee and I can't stop making out in bed. That's as simply as I can put it. We're both Christians who just want to do God's will and wait it out. We've already been together 1.5 years but the wedding is pretty far off in the future due to financial reasons. Plus we're still both in college and would like to finish school first. We know we should avoid situations when we're both in the same bed, napping or whatever, but we can't seem to stop it! Everytime this happens we feel awful... but then it just happens again and again. We are both very well self-controlled, sure about our marriage and sure about saving sex for marriage. How can we stop this cycle? We want a blessed, pure relationship in the eyes of God until His timing joins us, but we're also crazy about each other! Please help... especially older people who have experience and can lead me spiritually. Thanks!
2006-12-05 09:46:13 · 13 answers · asked by reba 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
As I see it you have two options.
1) Get married.
2) Enlist the support and help of another TRUSTED Christian. Go to this Christian and confess the difficulty you are having. Ask this Christian to be your accountability partner. He or she has the responsibility to regularly speak with you about your struggle and inquire as to how you are doing in your struggle. Sin that is confessed and out of the darkess has much less power over you and the strength of your accountability partner can greatly empower you.
2006-12-05 09:59:44 · answer #1 · answered by yagman 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could try not putting yourself in a situation where you are alone together. As one of Jehovah's Witnesses who recently got married, I can speak from experience. My husband and I made sure never to be alone together if at all possible. (By the way, he is 43 and I am 37, so we're not old but not young either). My best friend was our chaperone most of the time and at other times we did group things, like going out to dinner with friends or seeing a movie, bowling, shopping or whatever. When we didn't have a chaperone or friends around we spend time together in public places where we wouldn't be tempted to make out. We kept our courtship honorable and our consciences are clean before God. There's nothing better than that.
If you think you just can't wait, why not just get married now? Have a small ceremony at a park or at the beach or some place nice and invite only a few friends and family members. That way you'll save yourself quite a bit of stress and money. My husband and I had a medium-sized wedding and even that was stressful! I would much have preferred to have gone to the beach with our best friends and close family members for the day and then spent time with everyone afterward having dinner at a nice restaurant and perhaps doing some sight seeing afterward with them...then taking a "real" honeymoon later on when we could better afford it.
2006-12-05 18:07:00 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you are obviously committed and headed for marriage, one option would be to have a small, private ceremony with a minister from your church, or even through the court system. This would not be "cheating," because you're getting married in the future anyway, and it sounds like you would do so today if money weren't an issue. You're basically already married, emotionally, spiritually, and it makes no sense to torture yourselves by resisting an obviously natural, pure progression of your relationship. I would say have a small ceremony just for the two of you to make it "legal" and then you'll be guilt-free. Think of the fancy ceremony in the future as a celebration of your union. At that time, you can tell people or you can not tell people - entirely up to you.
2006-12-05 17:57:44 · answer #3 · answered by LisaT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright, I'm going to chime in here from the atheist point of view, if you don't mind.
Enjoy yourself, for goodness' sake. You're young and in love. Why save sex for marriage? You can't say it's because the bible says so, because it doesn't. And, consider another way to look at it - why does an all-powerful, all-knowing being who has the entire universe to look after care about what two people who love each other do naked? And you're not even going that far. I don't know how far we're talking here, but you're expressing your love for each other. If you didn't ever touch your lover, then how could you possibly create a bond with him?
It seems to be putting unnecessary stress and guilt on your life to worry about this sort of thing. It's not as though you're tossing it about, as it were. This is a person you love, and as long as you act responsibly (with birth control, etc.), how can a god really punish you eternally for it?
But, this is my point of view and just something to mull over. I hope you find the answer you're looking for regardless.
2006-12-05 17:57:31 · answer #4 · answered by abulafia24 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Can you please explain why making out is a sin, and why you feel you are not doing God's will because of it? If you are self-controlled and sure about waiting until after you are married, then what are you doing wrong? I just really don't understand. If, however you feel that this might one day break your resolve, then stop. But, in order to keep your relationship as lovely as it is now, affection of some sort is necessary.
2006-12-05 17:56:15 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move out!
If that's what you want - to wait - then don't be stupid. Stop putting yourself in those pressure situations!
Proverbs 6: 27-28 - Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can a man go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?
2006-12-05 17:59:31 · answer #6 · answered by guitar teacher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHY do you think it is wrong?
If you lived in some place where marriage was forbidden do you think you have to be celibate until you die?
If you two have already made a solemn lifelong committment to be monogamous, and expressed that committment to the world, what does the ceremony change MORALLY?
~ Lib
2006-12-05 17:54:34 · answer #7 · answered by LibChristian 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to not let yourselves in that situation, its hard, but if he walks in and wants that one of you have to be strong. maybe before you start a evening together or day, think about praying together, that just might help
2006-12-05 17:58:40 · answer #8 · answered by a2jreed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much money do you need to get married legally?
You do not need all those elegance in your wedding...it is better to be pure in God's eyes than with people...
2006-12-05 17:51:56 · answer #9 · answered by Tomoyo K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blessed be the 69.
2006-12-05 17:59:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋