i have had a crush on my best friends girlfriend for a long time. i know he mistreats her and is mean to her every chance he gets.....she is also giving me mixed signals like she likes me too, but i think she's afraid that my bestfriend will hurt her if she was to every leave him. what can I do.....
2006-12-05 09:31:00 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
very touchy situation
This is the type of scenario where people can get hurt or worse. You will almost certainly lose the relationship between you and your best friend as one outcome. I would talk to her about it, and see how she feels though. from that point, perhaps she can migrate from him, or just up and leave.
either way, your best friend will want a piece of you, because he thinks he loves her when he actually only wants control...
I hate seeing a situation like this, and I was almost in one such situation, but I chose not to involve myself with her.. I have regretted that for years, but I know that dude would have been fighting with me every chance he got, and I don't really like to fight.
Do this at your own risk, but make damn sure she feels the same about you before you act either way...
Good luck, and be very carefull.
2006-12-05 09:32:37 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you know that he physically hurts her you should be more concerned about her safety than your crush on her. You should find out the extent of the abuse and then encourage her to get help and leave him (which is harder than it sounds in an abusive relationship). The last thing you should do is make the situation harder for her by attempting to become involved with your best friends girlfriend.
Now, if he's just mean or just cheating on her and you want her to be your girlfriend more than you want to continue having him as a best friend... you should follow your heart and see how she really feels. Its possible she's stringing you along... but its also possible she feels the same way AND wants to act on it.
2006-12-05 09:37:37 · answer #2 · answered by Kim G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a best friend.... you really shouldn't try to date their g/f's or ex's or crushes. It'a against the Best Friends Code. You will lose a friend that way.
Although on a side note you should talk to your friend about how he treats her. If it's that noticable, I'm sure you're not the only one that has seen it. If he ever truly wants to have a good relationship, he'll have to learn and adjust.
Hope you figure out what sets well with you. Ultimately you are the only one that has to live with your choice.
2006-12-05 09:38:54 · answer #3 · answered by Trin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter how much he mistreats her. That's between them. Dont use that as an excuse for feelings you know you shouldnt have. I know its hard because it isn't easy to turn away from someone you really like but you will always have an obligation to your friend. Worst he is your best friend. Believe me no matter how strong the attraction it isn't worth it. Girls come and go. Next month, next week or maybe even tomorrow you will like someone else just as much or even more. I'm just saying, you can always replace your feelings for someone else. But you can never replace your friendship. That's invaluable. Don't be the one to destroy it...
2006-12-05 09:42:57 · answer #4 · answered by Tommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should think about calling this person a best friend if he mistreats anyone the way you indicated, male or female. once you decided if you can remain friends or not, then consider asking if he really cares at all about the girl in question. he doesn't own her and they do not sound engaged, if you really want to see her then think about your own feelings, this might be the one for you, or are you just interested because of his treatment of her. you need your own answers first.
2006-12-05 09:38:24 · answer #5 · answered by blueJean 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's difficult for an abused person to see a way out of their abuse--at least sometimes. Tell her she doesn't have to live that way and offer to help her plan her escape. Tell her she is a worthwhile, valuable, beautiful person (but don't get gooey on her--like declaring your love). She may well be addicted to the feelings that go with the abuse but you can give it a shot. You can help her plan her escape and execute it. There is assistance available. Help her.
2006-12-05 10:13:50 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my book, going for your best friend's girlfriend is crossing the line, but if he is actually mistreating her, hopefully she will leave him on her own. but i don't think you should go after her because you would be screwing your best friend over. I know from experience, a bf i had left me for my best friend, i felt betrayed and never spoke to either of them again.
2006-12-05 09:36:55 · answer #7 · answered by Kris W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That isn't a line anyone should cross.. But if you decide to you should try talking to you friend about how you feel when you see him miss treat her, see what happens, talk to the girl see how she feel in the relationship.. I relly don't know what else to suggest b/c that is a very touch subject for anyone i am sure.. Good luck
2006-12-05 09:34:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really is a tough situation. Talk to your best friend about it. Tell him from your perspective of the situation. Maybe he'll come around and change. If he is a true friend he will listen. Other wise, he is not worth being your friend.
2006-12-05 09:36:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your friend... and maybe tell him that if he keeps treating her bad, she's going to go look for comfort somewhere else... that way he's aware you are going to take her away from him. I would, but just don't mistreat her.
2006-12-05 09:33:09 · answer #10 · answered by precious1982 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋