Why is it that parents are so against spanking their children nowadays?

Question

I was spanked, most of the people I grew up with were as well and we turned out alright. Also learned respect, discipline, and what the word NO meant. (I'm 29) Now, kids have no respect for their elders, have such smart mouths, and consistantly whine until the parents give in.

What happened?

Answer 1

I see everyone on here ranting about out-of-control kids nowadays, but spanking kids doesn't always make them behave better! In fact, I've seen lots of kids kicking and screaming, and their parents run after them threatening to spank them, following through, the kid gets quiet for a second (maybe) and then is back at throwing a tantrum. They grow up learning hitting is OK as long as you are bigger & can get away with it. Spanking does not solve the problem permenantly, nor does it guarantee that you don't still have a little hellion.

I know you are all nostalgic for the days of "sir" and "ma'am" and lemonade on your front porch and putting the fear of God into your kid...... But the reality is it's a different world today!! Studies have shown that peers are a bigger influence on a kid than parents. So even if the kid is spanked and fears his parents, chances are that TODAY, little Timmy next door will help him sneak behind your back and do whatever it is anyway. Spanking only shuts down the lines of communication, and since your kid can't turn to you and is afraid of you, he becomes a more effective liar and Lord knows what he is doing without you knowing it. The more you opress and repress a child, the more s/he will REBEL, and PUSH back, and HIDE things from you. If not now, then later, when he is grown enough to leave and can finally do everything he wants. I've seen this. It's why so many pastors' kids' go wild when they leave home.

Now I am NOT SAYING you should let a kid do whatever the hell he wants; AND I'm NOT SAYING spanking is always abuse, or even always wrong. All I'm saying is that MODERATION is the key to everything. There is middle ground, and it is your job as a parent to find it!!

Spanking CAN be effective. At a very young age (under 7) to get a child's attention in a very serious situation (quit sticking stuff in the electrical sockets, Bobby!), spanking CAN work!! Don't do it when angry, don't take it too far. Save it for a last resort or dangerous behavior (as described above). A child any older than that can understand reason, and should be dealt with respectfully. You CAN parent a child and still show respect. In fact, it helps the child learn to treat others the same way. Deal with a child in his/her own currency. Video games, shopping trips, time-out; it has to be something that MATTERS to the child (but is not a NEED or RIGHT).

This is all easier said than done, of course, but as parents it is our duty to give our children the best. Everything in its place and everything in moderation.

Answer 2

They're towards it due to the fact that it condoned the abuse of youngsters to a few measure, no less than abusers could use 'subject' as a canopy up for his or her unhealthy behaviour. It's like with such a lot matters. When society alterations anything, you have got a massive swing like a wave. They move to the opposite severe due to the fact that the thought of wounding kids is so offensive to many. After a at the same time it swings again and finally finally ends up with a completely happy medium. So pass hands that during time the alterations could have eventuated in revealing and serving to put off abuse, but additionally while persons see that no subject in any respect simply does not paintings, they are going to start to make use of somewhat while wanted. The situation right here isn't continually spanking, however typically it is the selection to place regulations into play and stick with them. Parents get worn out and do not convey by way of their promise to withhold a favorite sport or to give up the baby from doing anything so the children do not be trained to appreciate the mum or dad's wants. I additionally feel that the media has a significant aspect to play on this. Yes, occasions are difficult and children are uncovered to extra violence and so on. in this day and age however the youngsters didn't originate the violence. The media advertises it an excessive amount of within the information, giving them suggestions to make use of and sport brands, film makers, television manufacturers and so on. all move too a ways of their endeavour to generate profits and the children develop up with the violence. Some say they develop up too quickly. I feel that persons are a ways too effortless-happening different persons in permitting them to do something they want. If persons and society generally frowned upon the disrespect and didn't take delivery of it, it could shrink, however persons are not able to be troubled and it is only a unhealthy obstacle throughout. It's time to carry in manners and appreciate once more I suppose.

Answer 3

There are good lessons to be learned and not so good!

We spank our kids only when it is something they did and knew it was very wrong. pooping in the pants when we asked 50 gazillion times do you need to sit on the potty, let's go potty, then the look of " I know I did a wrong thing!" gets spelled out and we give a small swat on the butt.

However spanking in lew of actually explaining why a behavior is wrong can just cause more problems. So we ask, "Do you know why I am spanking you?" Chances are, to buy time my son will say in his most guilt ladden voice, "No..." then we explain.

More often than this we try to explain and reason. A two year old is actually old enough to reason their behavior. If this doesn't work we progress. My kids have been complimented on their behavior by everyone from teachers to some of my work colleauges. It is constant work to teach them right from wrong and the occasional spanking should serve as a reminder as to who "wears the pants"

It should not be the first option however.

Answer 4

Spanking is not essential discipline. What's essential is the consistency. I have seen what happens when kids are not disciplined or disciplined inconsistently and that's where the problem lies. I have never hit my daughter but she is very well behaved because she is disciplined and disciplined consistently. I don't give into whining and she must speak to me with respect.

I hear a lot of people say they were spanked and they turned out all right. Most of the kids who didn't ride in carseats turned out all right and most of the kids whose houses were painted in lead paint turned out all right. It's just that some don't. If you look at the number of people in this country who are on Prozac or just generally unhappy you can tell that something is wrong in our society. I'm not saying it's spanking but there is something. I think hitting is wrong and I won't hit my child, especially because there are other ways of disciplining. Parents just need to quit being lazy and actually teach their kids to have manners.

Answer 5

I'm all for a good old fashioned spanking. Kids(or should I say Monsters) these days NEED it. I got my butt busted a few times when I was a kid(I'm 25), and like you, I turned out just fine. I learned respect and dicsipline, and what NO means. I'm with you. There's nothing wrong with spankings as long as the parents know when it stops being discipline and becomes abuse. These days you can't spank kids with anything but an open palm, and not more than about 3 times, and only on the butt(I got way more than that). Anything else and anywhere else is considered abuse. I got smacked whenever I said things I shouldn't have, and my dad used his thick leather belt on my butt. It hurt, but it wasn't abuse, and it also got the point across.

Answer 6

That's why kids are so out there these days. I was spanked too, and I don't spank my kid. (yet) She's 8 months old, though. LOL. I turned out just fine. Seriously, I don't kinow what's up with that. I don't want to spank my daughter, but once in a while, a little discipline is a good thing. And I don't mean a 'time out'. I mean a swat on the butt or something.

Answer 7

That is a good question. I'm all for spanking. Your right kids today have no respect or discipline. Now days if you look at your child wrong its called abuse. The government has taken the rights away form the parents and given them to the kids. Look at people today 20 and up and you see "Mostly" good respectable and disciplined people. But any thing under 20 mouthy and no respect.

Answer 8

We that don't spank want our children to respond when when asked, not because they are going to get spanked. Kids will respond when dealt with with consistancy, specific directions, and consequences that fit the crime. For example, if they hit their brother with a toy, the toy is taken away. This just makes sense. My children are very well behaved and always get top marks from teachers. What's happened is that I educated myself on how to handle discipline in an appropriate manner. I think the parents that spank don't know what else to do. Studies have shown that when you spank the behavior does change for the moment, but for long term results, parents need to use rewards for good behavior and appropriate consequences for bad behavior. It worries me to see how many parents are willing to spank their kids.

Answer 9

actually i was spanked, but i got off easy, my brother was beaten up all the time for nothing, and we haven't turned out all right. my brother's on antidepressants and i hate my parents. the only reason my dad doesn't hit me anymore is because i learned to mouth off and speak up for myself...he's really immature and i have to treat him like an equal or he'll think he can treat me however the hell he wants. you rarely hear about kids putting their parents "in their place" but you have to agree there are some who need it, or else i'll end up like my brother.

i'm not saying spanking isn't a good thing in some cases, but it can definitely go too far and you can succeed in having a well-behaved child (NOT like me) without having to physically HURT them. spanking obviously isn't always the answer, or else i'd be perfectly well-behaved, right?

Answer 10

abuse became the other end of the spectrum... beating, burning, then drowning. So I guess they decided to end all of it. Your kid can actually call the police on YOU for a spanking now. Tell ya, I didnt need a beating- a good slap or spanking told me what I was doing was wrong, and i knew if I did it again I'd be slapped again. But I hear ya, BRING BACK THE SPANKING