my girlfriend wants to quit her job and move in with me. How can I tell her I'm not comfortable with this?

Question

She has some credit card bills, and without a job, that would leave me to pay them. I'm not comfortable doing this, especially since I've just recently gotten out of debt and don't want to go there again.

Answer 1

JUST TELL HER AND STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH. I BET IF IT WAS HER SHE WOULD TELL YOUR AZZ, CAUSE THAT'S HOW FEMALES ARE.

Answer 2

well, my dear, you must be up front with her. Just tell her you ain't paying her credit card bills. Simple as that. It's her debt not yours. Just because she quits her job doesn't make you responsible for her credit score. Tell her if she's moving in with you that you would prefer she keep a job so that she would "have a little spending and bill money" of her own because you can't (or won't) cover the both of you. Or you can say, "if something were to happen to the relationship, I want to know that you can make it on your own, because it would be terrible if you had to move back in with your parents" (note: your not going to be there financially just because it didn't work out in the end, and she has no money, no job, and only her parents house to go)

Answer 3

Ask her what moving in with you have to do with quitting her job. Can't she move in with you and still go to work? Or at least find another job? She is a grown woman and should be responsible for yourself...I'm sorry to hear, but I think she just wants a SugaDaddy out of you.

Stick to your guts and tell her that you don't know if your budget would work if she moves in. You have to let her know that if she does indeed move in with you, she needs to contribute financially to the household that you both share (not to mention that she needs to take care of her own debts herself).

Answer 4

I'd suggest being honest without being brutal. Simply tell her that it's a major set in the relationship and you're not yet ready. Tell her that you understand her need for a change but that you think it would be best for her to gain more stability on her own. Try to think of a way to compliment her when saying this sort of thing. That way she'll understand that you're looking out for her well-being and not just trying to avoid being dragged into her financial issues.

I'd explain to her that you want an equal partnership. If she's looking to be with you and not just wanting to be bailed out of her money woes she should understand. Otherwise, consider it a warning sign that she has responsibility issues and a future with her might be problematic.

Kudos on getting out of debt and good luck!

Answer 5

Wow, I would just be honest and tell her that you are finally in a good position and that even though you love her it is not your responsibilty. She has to sort herself out. She needs to find a new job and pay her own bills. It is not up to you to carry her load. Don't feel guily. It sounds like she wants to bludge off you. Don't go there. If she moves on it will only get worse. My brother made the same mistake and it cost him in so many ways. Good luck!!!

Answer 6

It sounds like she is using you. And you need to be comfortable with the situation because it is YOUR house. Just tell her that doesn't sound logical. Look at the proof. The facts. And ask her what quitting her job has to do with it. Just because she may live with you doesn't mean you need to take over her responsibilities and debts. Good luck.

Answer 7

Wow! The truth is that you need to talk to you girlfriend a lot of relationships have gone down the tubes because the relationship isn't ready. I'm sure your girlfriend must really like you a lot because she is giving up her job and her own living space I'm sure there are reasons why your not comfortable and if you really like this girl you need to talk to her and really the worts option is to let her move in and ruin the relationship.

I really hopes this helps you.

Answer 8

Put your foot down, and stick to your guns! Moving in with you will be hard enough, let alone, supporting her. You sure "pick" the good ones. The best way out of this, is to remind her that Any Relationship is built on a "solid" foundation, and with her "plan" it just wouldn't work out! Tell her, don't ask her, to slow down, or you will consider "ending" this relationship, before your back in debt again. God, don't let that happen. Doesn't it feel Terrific to be debt free - stay that way - its healthier and your happier. Remember, if your not happy in a relationship, no one is, and it won't last. Good Luck, and Merry Christmas..

Answer 9

I would ask her why she thinks that she quit her job and move in with you. This could be here way of telling you that is time to call it off or put the ring on her finger. I have a Friend from college that pulled tried this with her boyfriend just to get him to break up with her. So she may be testing you and they only way you will know is to make her fess up to it. Once it is all out in the open then you should have not problem telling how you fell.

Answer 10

Tell her straight up that if she wants to live with you that until you are totally sure about the relationship everything is split 50/50 as far as rent and utilities - but your own bills, for credit cards, or car payments stay your own! do not combine bank accounts either

Answer 11

Get rid of her if she quits her job. With todays life styles you need 2 incomes to make it work. Why would you even consider allowing her to do that to you when she knows that you just got out of debt? Think about your question long and hard. I'm sure if one of your friends asked you that question you would know what to answer right away. Just because you have sex with her doesn't mean you are her sugar daddy!