How do we get our 12 year old daughter to stop wetting the bed?

Question

It's been going on since she came out of nappies. We've been to various doctors, specialists, urologists and enuresis clinics, and tried all sorts of alarms, sensors, timers, lights, sheets, pads, pull-ups etc. In fact, I don't think there is anything we haven't tried. She's at the age where money is becoming more important to her and I'm considering introducing a bribe / fine system. Any thoughts?

Very helpful Artie Fufkin. Wanker!

Answer 1

ok, let me start by saying that i know what she is going through. because my parents have done the same thing with me. only i am 17 and still having this problem. after about 5 diffrent meds, 6-7 doctors, and 8 diffrent alarms nothing has worked.our last doctor said that it would stop on its own some time, but that my body would have to do the work naturaly. he sugested that i eat heathly and exercise so that my body does not get slowed down in development. i was sick a lot of time when i was younger and my blader has not caught up to my body yet. it is simply to small to hold the pee, in the day time i often am runing to the restroom or i will bust. we tryed limiting drinks and i got dehydrated and it made every thing worse.

now if you have tryed everything and nothing works then maby it needs to be solved naturaly. try not to with hold drinks to the point of dehydration. and pull-ups make the mess so much easyer to take care of. if you have questions you can email me.

Answer 2

Hi. I'm wondering if you have sat down and really spoken to her. Bed wetting can be due to a medical condition or a sign that something is wrong. Have you spoken with her doctor? I mean if nothing else has worked because at 12 she should be a little more into keeping herself clean. I just want to give you some suggestions because 12 can be a difficult age with puberty about to set in and all. My niece wet the bed for many years and she said it was cause she was afraid to go to the bathroom at night and come to find out she was being abused sexually. I don't want to scare you but just dig deep into all the possibilities. If she is just doing it to do it, she will stop. Buy her those goodnites diapers for big kids and if they don't have her size, buy her some depends diapers. She won't like that very much and will most likely stop. Good luck.

Answer 3

My daughter is 8 and still occasionally wets the bed. The best thing that helped her was talking it through with the school nurse and having star charts etc.

At 12, your daughter my not be into that, but you could reward her in other ways to help. The nurse suggested that a 10 year old would probably benfit from colouring in blocks on a picture for every day they were dry and receiving 10p. She said it worked well.

My daughter just enjoyed the colouring in.

I think my girl is just a very heavy sleeper and doesn't always wake up to go to the toilet, so we have cut back on the fizzy drinks after 1pm, cut back her many activites etc.

fingers crossed, this is working at the moment, but every new school year she wets the bed for about a week.

Answer 4

Ive read all the answers and it appears that you have tried most of the solutions offered. It is very possible she has a condition called enuresis (bed wetting) a lot more common than we realize. You may just accept the fact that she cannot control her bladder through no fault of hers. You may have to just let her ear a diaper at night. Do not make her wear on as punishment though. Just as a way to keep things dry. And give her a lot of love and support. It may be something that you and she may have to learn to live with.

Answer 5

This is a very common problem , one of mine was a bedwetter up to the age of 12/13 year's , as long as you have had all the test's carried out and there is no medical reason for it then just bide your time and she will most definitely grow out of it , even at her age make no big deal about it , no girl of that age WANT'S to wet the bed ,it cant be helped. i dont think a bribe is the way forward , if she fail's it not going to do her any favour's , from experience just put a rubber sheet covering the mattress and leave it at that ,and all will come right in time. it worked for my child and never ever punish her by making her wash out her bed linen . I know you would need a lot of patience , but the less said the better.good luck

Answer 6

I have a bedwetter as well. He is just now beginning to control this but it is NO WAY done on purpose. He is 10 years old. I would never fine him or bribe him to stop. He sleeps through it everytime. I check on him every night to ensure his bed is dry. His father and I are both former bedwetters. This may have a genetic tie. At any rate, I have found he never wets the bed when he eats popcorn before bed as a snack. Maybe it's all the sodium. :)

Answer 7

Very difficult.

I sympathise with your predicament.

My first instinct was to say omg how could you think about bribes or fines for wetting the bed.

Then I took a good look at myself and reminded myself I was not the one trying to deal with the problem.

Give it a go and see if it works. I would consider calling it a reward system. For every night she keeps dry she gets a set amount of money that is paid at the end of the week.

Maybe offer longer incentives as well. 50p a night 5 consecutive nights £2.00 bonus 10 consecutive nights £5.00 bonus etc.

My only other thought is that you get her some therapy as she must be feeling pretty low about it as well.

I wish you all well and hope that you find a solution to this problem.

Answer 8

It has been noted by doctors that some childrens bladders do not develop as fast as they grow. It could be that she can not control her bladder at night. Another reason maybe she is feeling stress for something that is bothering her. But like you have said you have already been to the all the doctors. I will tell you a secret I didnt stop wetting the bed til I was Thirteen years old, (embrassing I know) but My mother was abuse and I was molested when I was a child. So I was told there were many reason I was still wetting the bed. It will take time just hang in there.

Answer 9

You've tried it all, obviously. Who knows, the bribe might work. Stay with the pull ups, it will save on the laundry.

Who knows, maybe it's like the Charlie Brown cartoon, the good thing about wetting yourself in a dark suit is no one notices and it gives you a warm feeling.

Answer 10

cut out drinks by 18:30 in the evening, especially fizzy drinks, get her to start emptying her bladder before bed time witha few trips to the loo and also take her to the loo before you go to bed as well. Try putting on some soothing music in her room at bedtime, she could be 'stressed'. It might be a good idea to take her to a phycologist, she may be having bad dreams or feeling insecure or even being bullied at school. Take it easy, punishing her will only make things worse and I am sure she is not doing it on purpose and she is obviously embarresed by this situation. Good luck and hope all goes well.