I am in love with my ex boyfriend and i am so hurt because i cant move on and he can and has. I always want to see him and talk to him but the feeling is not mutual. i dont really want to be with him but i love him so much and dont want to see him with anyone else. he tells me that he loves me still but he doesnt treat me this way. i cant be with anyone else because i havent found anyone that i like. do i need to see a psychologist, is there a magical way of getting over this guy. we went through a lot together and i dont want to let him go... Help me!!!!!
2006-12-05 07:48:57 · 36 answers · asked by lankytallgirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sweety - I understand your pain. My marriage of 32 years broke up a couple of years ago when my husband found another woman. We had four kids and eight grandkids and it broke my heart. I went into a bad depression and yes, I did go talk to someone. I tried everything I could to work things out, even offering to take him back. There is no magic cure, but talking to someone does help. I finally am able to move on with my life and realize that he was not the man I thought he was ever.
I am with a wonderful man now who makes me happy and for the first time I know what its like to have a true partner in life. You will too. GBYou
2006-12-05 07:54:58 · answer #1 · answered by Dust in the Wind 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There IS no magical cure for heartache, sadly. My boyfriend and I broke up at the beginning of this year, and I went through the same thing, and it still hurts--but not nearly as badly as it used to. All that will help is TIME. In the meantime, just try to keep yourself busy. Hobbies, sports, friends. . .anything that will keep you from being alone and thinking about him. Move on, because just that "he says he loves me but doesn't treat me like it" line makes me think he's playing mind games with you, and that will only hurt you more in the end. Get away. You deserve a better guy! Good luck, sweetheart.
2006-12-05 07:52:00 · answer #2 · answered by Casey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you do not need to see a psychologist unless you are going to hurt yourself. There are no magical words or things you can do to heal your heart. Once your heart has been hurt, a scar will always be there. It sounds to be like your ex was your first love. Depending on how long you have dated, it will take you twice as long to begin healing.
You will need to heal yourself, as no one else can do this for you. As in death, you'll need to go through the stages of different feelings (anger, guilt, sadness, etc.). Find something that helps you deal: write, draw, run, cry, play the same song over and over. But, you must find a way to heal yourself in a healthy way.
The only magic way of getting over your guy can be found within yourself. Keep safe, keep healthy, and find an outlet for your feelings.
2006-12-05 08:02:42 · answer #3 · answered by Vamp06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join the club sweetheart. That's the price we pay for falling in love with someone. And just like the rest of us, you will learn that only time will help. There's no "magical way," or psychological way to instantly get rid of what you're feeling. To get over this, the best thing for you to do is to draw support from your close friends, be patient, and just take things day by day. Don't worry too much about when it will happen. But trust me, there will be a day when you realize that you're starting to get over him, and eventually realize the feelings you have for him, aren't as strong. Your soulmate is still out there, don't give up on him. Good luck and take care.
2006-12-05 07:59:28 · answer #4 · answered by eh! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married for 13 years, dated the guy since I was 17 years old. Although we are divorced and at times I hate him deep down in side I will always love him. He was my first true love and I have 2 wonderful children with him. But life must go on and you will get through this. Focus on the future and quit living in the past. There is someone out there for you, you just haven't found the person.
2006-12-05 07:53:56 · answer #5 · answered by Traycee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie the best advice I could give you is take one day at a time. I really understand what your feeling because Im in the same situation. The solution is keep yourself occupied and know how much your worth. Guys are weird and the sad part is that they dont analyze things the way we women do. It is a lot easier for them to move on as we tend to cling on hoping for a miracle. un clavo saca a otro. Things happen for reasons and life gives a lot of twist & turns. If you love him so much then set him free and let life take it's course.
2006-12-05 08:06:47 · answer #6 · answered by razzle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
awww well as others have said in time it will get better and won't hurt so much. The best thing for you to do right now is spend time with your friends and work on loving yourself before thinking of finding someone else. There's no rule that says you have to have a boyfriend. Enjoy your freedom. I recommend cutting all ties with him (no calls no email no txt mssgs etc) because right now any kind of contact you have with him is probably only hurting you more. Good Luck to you.
2006-12-05 07:56:10 · answer #7 · answered by ♪ ♫Jin_Jur♫ ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cry and let it out. Stay at home with mom and just let it out. It took me six months to get over my first love and that is the worst heartache ever! I'm guessing he is your first love? I sould like every mom but you will find someone better. I just takes a long time. There is no magical way to get over this guy. You don't want to be with him, but you don't want anyone else to be with him and it's just odd because he's all you know. One day you will find another guy, look back at your dating record, and laugh so hard! Time
heals all wounds!
2006-12-05 07:52:34 · answer #8 · answered by Amber C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may sound bad ... but it always seems to work when all else fails!
Focus on all the negative things about your relationship ... all of the things that bothered you, any arguments you had, and anything at all that upset you.
Then you will be less likely to miss the person ... because you'll remember how annoying that was!!
Hope things get better ... :)
p.s. you have to let something go to see if it will come back. and you know what they say -- if it doesn't, it was never truly your's.
2006-12-05 07:56:17 · answer #9 · answered by britty♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"i dont really want to be with him but i love him so much"
if you love him, why don't you want to be with him?
maybe reason to see a psych doc just to answer that I think
I felt that way about somebody for about a year and a half, painful to think of her with somebody else, even more painful to think of the waste of her being alone.
probly no magical way of getting over somebody, you probably have to stay friends forever, one kind or another, if the feelings go that deep. Maybe just keep him, one way or another. I think maybe he likes you. What kind of help do you need and when?
2006-12-05 07:54:58 · answer #10 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋