My father keeps bitchin at me about how my fiance isn't going to make enough money to support me when we get married, and how he has no job security because their isn't a union for his job. And he keeps telling me that i shouldn't marry him because I will lose my SSI (I am disabled and can't work so I am on disability) I know money is going to be tight but we should be ok. What should I tell my father because I am so stressed out about everything without him adding to it.
2006-12-05 07:39:19 · 17 answers · asked by Megan B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My father is bi-polar and he is stressing out about money right now so he is taking it out on me.
My fiance says we will be fine and I told my parents that I will sell things online.
He just wants to ***** at someone and I am the only one available right now.
2006-12-05 07:49:41 · update #1
Since you know how your dad is, just take it with a grain of salt, I am sure his mood will pass. If he keeps insulting your fiance, then you need to sit him donw and talk to him about it. Let him know that you have made your decision and who your going to spend your life with. He will understand.
2006-12-05 08:55:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, don't stress about it. No offense, but your father is COMPLTELY WRONG about the union thing.
First of all... there is absolutely no such thing as true job security - unionized or not.
Unions might give more security because, just as it protects good employees it also protects the employees that STINK... However, the unions also hold employees back from pay that they should receive when they are promoted. Union rules can limit the increase that an employee receives for a promotion. Lovely, isn't it? Many unions, if there are layoffs, also throw out the newest employees before the BEST employees. So last one hired is the first one out,... even if the last one hired is better than the guy that's been there for twice as long. Sad, isn't it? It's not about performance at all.
MILLIONS of people work for companies that are not unionized (as I do). Job security is obtained by doing the best job you can.
2006-12-05 15:53:48 · answer #2 · answered by PT&L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont need to listen to your father. If you are old enoough to decide if you want to be married then you shouldnt let anyone get in the way of you heart.. Money comes and goes but as long as you have each other everything will be okay. In todays world there is no secure job. Everyone is replaceable. Follow your heart and do what you feel is right. Your family will still love you the same.
2006-12-05 15:44:53 · answer #3 · answered by money_maker 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your dad sounds a lot like mine. Although he doesn't mean to ***** at you, he just wants you to be safe and ok. I believe that considering your dad is right, I would just move in with the guy and see how it goes. Marriage is a lot about finances, and with you being disabled your dad just wants the best for you. I would wait for a while to get married. Make sure he has a job with security and can support both of you.
2006-12-05 15:46:39 · answer #4 · answered by Amber C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your dad probably just cares about your security,your his little girl, cut him a little slack...unless he is getting abusive with his ranting. The best thing you can do is succeed. I am not sure why you would lose your ssi, my mom gets it and she is married...whatever you do never never ask him for money. I don't know the nature of your disability, but maybe you could find something you can do to generate a small income..maybe that will make him feel like you can be independent.
2006-12-05 15:51:48 · answer #5 · answered by MELONIE T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's how Dad's are, it's their way of protecting their children even if it's not helpful. Let him know you appreciate the concern, but that all of this is a part of being an adult. Let him know that your fiance is the love of your life and you are getting married not for money, but for love. Tell him you know it may be difficult at times, but that you know everything will be ok because he raised a strong woman. Good luck.
2006-12-05 16:11:47 · answer #6 · answered by LJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your father sees something in this man that you do not.
If you are marrying him for love, then it shouldn't matter what anyone thinks. Financial security is important in today's world. Ask yourself if you will be happy with him in 10 years from now living on a small income or if children come along, how he will support your family. Love isn't always the answer.
2006-12-05 15:47:30 · answer #7 · answered by bobbie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your dad is right. You cannot fry love for breakfast and the Electric company doesn't take hugs and kisses for payment.
Financial problems is the number one reason for divorce in the U.S. If you want to lose your SSI and live paycheck to paycheck not knowing if you will have enough to put the bacon on the table, then go ahead, your choice.
Good luck
2006-12-05 15:45:09 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if honestly belive you're gonna be ok then you have nothing to worry about. if you dont then you have to think of the future life you're getting yourself into. More importantly (and i hate to say it) who is more important to you, your fiance or your father. Talk to your fiance about it, he must have known about the situation marriage would put you two into. Maybe he has a plan? If he doesn't, maybe you shouldn't get married just yet. But don't lose hope, keep your chin up :).
2006-12-05 15:44:21 · answer #9 · answered by namelessnum7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and your fiancee really believe you will be fine, then your father needs to trust that.
I understand your father is bi-polar and stressed out, but if you keep talking to him when he brings this up, he will start to treat you like an adult.
2006-12-05 16:06:16 · answer #10 · answered by AmyB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋