OK so my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 1 year now...he's partially already moved in and has given notice at his other place...I feel like we don't really understand one another and that we fight all of the time! It's like neither of us want to give in to the other by being kind first! It's strange..I do love him...but we come from two different cultures and backgrounds...and I'm just not sure if it's going to work out yet! It would be nice financially to have him there, but honestly that's the only thing that i'm looking forward to...more money for myself! and I don't think that's a good reason to live with someone...I seriously am insanely confused! I need suggestions on how to approach him about this...oh and this morning he told me that he was jaded because of how I treated him in the beginning and now he can never be sweet / kind towards me because of it! What!???!!!??? How am I supposed to live with that?????
2006-12-05 07:07:34 · 18 answers · asked by pretty kitty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'd run for the hills!! I'm living with my bf of 2 1/2 years and hating it every minute! I think that if we weren't living together it would be a lot different.
Talk to him about your concerns. And if all you two do is fight, there is no point in getting a place together because it will only make it more difficult to break up!
2006-12-05 07:12:08 · answer #1 · answered by Steph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That last comment about him not being able to be sweet or kind to you because of the way you treated him in the beginning should show you that he cant forgive or compromise on anything. Its sounds to me that the two of you are not ready for that type of commitment, especially if the only good thing about moving in together is the extra money. I think the two of you need to work on your relationship before moving in together. If he cant get his apartment back I would suggest letting him stay with you until he can find a new but set up a time limit for that to happen. If someone said they couldn't be sweet or kind to me they would be out the door whether I loved them or not.
2006-12-05 15:20:11 · answer #2 · answered by poker_213 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, tell him the arrangement is not ideal, because of your constant fights. Don't give in, you will regret it tremendously later. I can assure you that. I say these because a friend was under the same circumstance and yet she went on and pretended that everything will turn out well, but as we all suspected , things got worse when they lived together. If you have doubts, the BEST thing is not to continue with the arrangement. Nobody can force anything on you when you don't want to. Be assertive and say that you don't want to. It would be better even if you move on and forget about him. From the looks of it, he does not love you enough or he is not responsible enough to let things work out between you two. If he truly loves you, your well being will always be his priority. Believe me , I have been there.
2006-12-05 15:14:42 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u cant be scared 2 express your feelings. u need 2 sit down and have a heart 2 heart talk with him about how u feel about the situation and let him know that u want him 2 understand where u r coming 4rm when u are saying this. u dont want 2 leave him, its just that u dont think the timing is right 4 u 2 move in 2gether . let him know that u love him and things like that, if he doesnt understand and he gets upset then maybe its nit meant 4 u and him, but I'm sure he will understand. u just cant wait 2 late, which u knid of have becuz he have given notice to his landlord and now u decide 2 tell him!!!! but u need 2 sit down and talk 2 him
2006-12-05 15:14:26 · answer #4 · answered by Kiwi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Remember this phrase because it works for many situations --
If ever in doubt, don't do it.
There is absolutely not anything wrong with changing your mind -- and try not to let his anger influence your decision.
Simply stated is always the best. We have been arguing a lot and some things have been said that bother me and I think it is best that you do not move in with me just yet. If he can't control his anger and his attitude, you did the right thing for sure.
Good luck and stick to your gut/instincts/guns and all that jazz. There will be calm after the storm.
2006-12-05 15:18:52 · answer #5 · answered by JB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moving in with someone is a big step and if you're going to let that happen you should actually want the person to be there with you. It's not good for you to be this confused about it. You need to tell him you need to talk to him about things & just tell him all your feelings and concerns about the move-in. Hopefully he'll understand and yous can work it out. You need to be completely honest with him, though. He needs to know how you feel before anything can be fixed. Good luck!
2006-12-05 15:14:36 · answer #6 · answered by Nikki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first of all him moving is not a good idea right now you guys obviously have some issues that need to be worked out before you even consider staying with eachother and for him making that comment that is no excuse for being rude to someone if you call yourself in love with that person that is a sorry excuse to be an asshole and i wouldn't let him use it either. you guys need to talk communitation plays sucha big roll in a relationship as soon as that one little thing fails the relationship is gone. So you guys need to try to work out your problems and also when it comes to both you being the one to be kind you have to bend and adjust to eachother in order to work no couple is perfect but as long as you both agree to work with eachother and help eachother fill in the gaps that you can't fill within yourselves things should get better but the key thing is talking and cooperation between eachother
2006-12-05 15:20:18 · answer #7 · answered by Aronda L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So why is he moving in?
tell him that if you are so jaded he shouldn't move in because you need your own space to be jaded in and not with him hanging around. Besides how else is he going to keep tabs on you.
2006-12-05 15:22:31 · answer #8 · answered by Angeli D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had better put a STOP to this madness before it's to late. Just tell him your're not ready for this. If he isn't ok with it then you know it's time for you to MOVE ON. You are way to young to be having ISSUES like this.
2006-12-05 15:12:48 · answer #9 · answered by Monty L 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like rocky roads ahead. Be honest with him, tell him how you feel. If you are confused don't do it. You will have endless battles. Make some other arrangement and quickly.
2006-12-05 15:12:37 · answer #10 · answered by george 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋