ADULTS...have u ever experienced this? (men and women)?

Question

i can very readily admit that im still hurt by my recent breakup but recognize that i need to move on and do other things to keep myself busy...on one hand i want to get out there and "be with" other guys but then theres another part of me that wants NOTHING to do with men right now...have u experienced this?

Answer 1

yes you just need time to heal from the last breakup, give it some time, in the mean time find things you enjoy doing to stay busy.

Answer 2

I spent two years feeling this way, and they were two of the best years of my life. Being in a relationship is great, but so is being single. You don't have to worry about anyone's needs but your own, you can do what you want when you want (within reason of course), and you are free to focus on making a great life by yourself. As long as you have good friends, life is far from empty without a man in your life. You learn a lot about yourself when you spend time alone, and you even learn what you really want out of a relationship when you have a good deal of time without one. All the feelings of past relationships fall away and you are able to think with a clear head about your priorities regarding this matter. If you feel like maybe you need a break from the dating game, you probably do, and there is nothing wrong with this!! Take all the time you need, when you really want it, it will still be there for you. So yes, I have experienced this, it is normal, it is healthy, and it can be a great experience which will only strengthen future relationships. Listen to what YOU really want, and go for it!

Answer 3

That is quite a natural feeling for you to have. It happens to a lot of women. The best thing to do is to take a break from men. It is not healthy to go from one hurtful relationship right into another. Sometimes you take all the angry and frustrations of the previous relationship into another and it can cause quite a mess. Take the time to clear your mind and wait until you are absolutely sure that you are ready to start inviting others into your world. It is a healthier approach. One of the things I find very helpful to me is to keep myself very occupied and it gives me less time to think about the situation. I would go out with my friends to places I have never been before. I try to enter new environments; places that will create a distraction for me. I like to be at a place where the people of the corporate world would go after work because they are the ones who are positive and heading for the top in business and you can learn so much from them. You get to meet new and interesting people. That surely takes your mind off a lot. Don't keep company with negative people as they will only drag you down further. You need encouragable and comforting friends. Maybe the break up is for a good reason. Maybe it is God's way of saying that it is time for you to get out the cage and start exploring the world and improve your life's situations. You will be ok. Just pray and ask God to give you the strength you need to carry on. Take care of yourself and I send you my sisterly love.

Answer 4

Of course its natural to think that if your with someone new than you will forget the past. If you are still hurting, you are not thinking clearly. Therefore, the decisions you are making will only make the time for you the heal longer. Of course, there is no set time on the hurt. You have to do things for yourself. Workout.. hang out with ur girlfriends... think of you.. or even just take a 10 minute walk. One reason you might feel that you want nothing to do with them, cause on a unconscious level you already know the true answer. Voiding the gap with something else is not goin to fix the problem..

Answer 5

It's pretty clear you are emotionally unstable. Heading out to be with other guys only expose you to be vulnerable and may jump at the opportunity to get back in a steady relationship with any* guy (emphasis on the any).

Best advice is to take time and clear your head. Breakup always hurt, hence it's called a BREAK-up. Like I said before, you need time to up your A-game and come back strong as an independent woman. So use your time do to things you've always wanted or hadn't had the chance to.

-chilledguy27

Answer 6

I had a similar experience, but that made me a stronger female. I had to learned that there is plenty of men out there and I will find one that will feel the same as I do. It was hard at first letting this individual go, but one day I had a flash back. I started remembering what he did to me and I realized that he was not worth anything. He cut me out of his life and I stay behind all alone in a big dark place. I got really depressed and sick. I had him in my mind day and night wondering is he with someone else. Is she better than me. I realized she can't be better than me because I know what I'm capable of doing. I also realized that I was to much for him, to good for him. He was a loser that had nothing I wanted. He had his own personal problems. It took me tears to think and return to reality, but I'm here. Today I have a wonderful husband anyone would envy me for and a beautiful baby. Don't stay stuck in a relationship if its tough from the begining.

Answer 7

I can completely understand how you are feeling. I guess it's just the feeling of loneliness that makes you want to go out and be with another guy, but the hurt and sadness makes guys the worse thing in the world. Personally I would just take it easy for now, no serious dating (but not sleeping around) and just have fun. If the right guy comes around then maybe he'll take the pain and hurt away. Then you can just hate other guys not the one you're with.

Answer 8

When my first marriage broke up I felt exactly that way, did not want anything to do with men at all. Give yourself a little time to be with yourself and to heal from the hurt of the breakup. Your heart will let you know when you are ready to move on and find a new love, or maybe he will just appear and sweep you off your feet. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 9

Yes. You are just sad right now and just want to waste your life. Just image you go out with a stranger and get A I D or get video taped. Not that is a scary thought that should stop you to think of men here and there. Just talk with friend, close friend and hang out more with "close friend". Messing around is never good. Save it for the one you love. If you want to waste time, buy tv shows you like and watch them at home. Simpson, Friends, whatever. Something you like. Ebay has lots of DVD at half price or less. I just purchace Hercules and Xena the Warrior princess, 6 season each. And I have no time for anything else untill I finish every epidose. You should do the same. There must be some tv show you like when you are young.

Answer 10

Sure. Most everyone has.
Take your time.
This is the perfect opportunity to hang out with the female friends you may have drifted away from while you were in a relationship. Organize a "Girls Night Out". No men, no kids.
Hang out with your girls and make a point not to hook up with any men that night.
You will go home feeling sexy, strong, and empowered by remembering that you have a choice as to whether you want a man in your life right now. Or you can concentrate on you.
Good luck!

Answer 11

I have experienced this for the past twelve years after going through that so many times. I have not had a date or been with a man in 12 years! Just got so tired of being hurt.