How to deal with a competitive sister in law?

Question

She is married to my fiance's brother and is always over at the parents house. I wouldn't care about that so much but when we are both there she interupts constanlty and has been really rude to my daughter. On top of that she recently had a baby and always has his parents watching her (they both work) while her mother is closer and stays at home. Am I being too sensitive or should I just ignore the way she acts? Help! She's driving me nuts!!!

Answer 1

I would ignore her if I were you, as she sounds very insecure and is looking for validation through her showy behaviour....Feel sorry for her, but don't hesitate to draw boundaries for her if she is inappropriate towards your daughter again as that is totally unacceptable. You are not being overly sensitive perse, you have a right to be annoyed by her, but you are responsible for how you behave towards her, but as my Mom always said, " consider the source "...... If you really want to express yourself to her, it might be wise to put your feelings down on paper but couch your words using terms of ownership e.g., instead of saying "you make me angry", say something like "I feel when you act like this......what is it you are trying to accomplish?" Good luck....

Answer 2

The interrupting would drive me CRAZY...you might want to try a couple of gentle hints, "I'm sorry hon, let me just get this out before I lose my train of thought" or a more blatant "Hold on I'm not done." If she persists, stop what you're saying face her and say (politely but FIRMLY) "Excuse me, but I wasn't finished, could you hold on a minute?" If you're giving her the courtesy to allow her to finish her sentences you have every right to expect the same.

As for his parents always watching the baby...she might have really good reasons for not wanting her mother to watch the child. Anything from abusive tendencies to possible health issues that her mother might have, but you not be aware of.

Answer 3

I have a sister in law who is a bit**, and I have found that ignoring them is the best course of action. The aren't used to it and makes them upset and you get to play the part of the innocent. However, the exception to this would be if she was rude to my child. I wouldn't let anyone be rude to my child, I would have to let her know I exist. Good luck and learn to ignore her, find out what her pet peeves are and then go for them, teach her a lesson and all the while look like the golden girl.

Answer 4

She may just be trying to be the center of attention but if she is ever rude to your daughter again just let her know that she is so uneducated that she would pick on someone so little. (and use little words). Also true enough she maybe jealous because you seem to be on top of your world and she may not know how to handle the situation. The other stuff is their stress and you don't really want that.

Answer 5

If you can ignore her, you'll feel much better. And you'll be the bigger person. But I'm guessing that you can't do that. I woudn't be able to.
Who watches her baby is not a subject you want to bring up, though. It may concern you, but you just can't go there.
Her being rude to your daughter is very much something that you need to address.
I've found that small comebacks like, "I'm sorry ______. We've taught our children to recognize when someone's being rude and taught them not to respond. If you'd like to address somethign with her, please feel free to come to me."
Or a simple, "Why do you feel it necessary to be rude?" usually does the trick. And the look on her face will be priceless.
Good luck to you!

Answer 6

Put her in her place. Don't let anyone be rude to your children like that. As for the rest, it doesn't effect you so let it be.