There have been a few times I've said something to my bf about him watching porn and looking at pics online; it makes me feel like crap. I've gained quite a bit of weight that I feel down about as it is but I'm pregnant so I deal with it in knowing I can lose the weight after our son is born. Anyway I obsessively check the pc to see what he looks at when I'm in bed and he's not or when I have to run out and he's home alone. I end up freaking out, feeling less attractive that he has too look at other women and he hardly touches me anymore, maybe we make love once every 2 weeks or more. I told him it makes me feel terrible but he assures me its just a natural guy thing and it has nothing to do with how he feels for me but it still makes me sick to my stomach when I see he's still looking. Should I just get rid of the pc? How do I deal with this without being hysterical? Please someone help me with this!!
2006-12-05 06:43:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Please do not complicate things for yourself. You are a beautiful person and are about to experience one of life's greatest joys--motherhood. I know pornography is sickening and distasteful. I can't stand why women would want to cheapen themselves like that, but regardless it is their choice to do so. I don't think you can ever stop someone from looking at such things online unless they themselves want to make that change. Do not obsess you are going to need all your energy for that new baby. Be glad your man is not cheating on you with an actual person..These are just images and you should never feel inadequate in front of them. Smile and Enjoy your pregnancy By the way-- Congratulations.
2006-12-05 06:52:30 · answer #1 · answered by dijfojri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey honey, i know where your coming from. Pregnancy is hard but your almost done and then you can work on getting back to your fabulous self. Be warned it takes time though, for most.
Porn ain't so bad as long as he's not cheating. My man signed up for a singles site in my ninth month. I found out about it a month after I had my little girl. It still bothers me and now the relationship has major issues.
He might not be touching you much because he is scared of hurting you or the baby, some guys feel that way. Don't take it heart, porn is not a real woman, and I'm sure he loves you very much. Maybe ask him to be more discreet when viewing such material, maybe a mag instead of having it on the computer where you can unknowingly and sometimes purposely come across it.
Good luck and congratulations on the baby. Feel free to email me if you want.
2006-12-05 06:52:28 · answer #2 · answered by krissy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is true that us guys do tend to look at porn on the PC despite our relationships. If it bothers you that much then you should think about getting rid of the PC or maybe putting parental blocks on it. If he is leaving your bed at night to look at porn then I would say he has a definite problem.
Don't beat yourself up to much over it though. I can't imagine he thinks less of you because you are pregnant. I think women are more attractive pregnant than not in almost all cases.
If your bf loves you he will stop for you...if he won't stop then maybe you need an extracurricular event to keep yourself happy and sane.
Good luck and enjoy being beautiful!
2006-12-05 06:55:28 · answer #3 · answered by Cyber Stalker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't seem like a supportive partner based on your description and he definitely seems to be falling short by not making you feel good about yourself. This should be a joyful time for the both of you. Maybe you should reconsider spending the rest of your life with this guy. Tell him that you are reconsidering and find out his reaction. Getting rid of the PC won't solve the problems with your guy. Maybe the guy is the problem. Sorry--but you asked. Hang in there and determine what is in your best interest.
2006-12-05 06:48:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is it such a big deal to you? You know he loves you and that the pregnancy makes it harder to be intimate. He may even feel weird doing the deed with you being so far along. It's like having a spectator way too close to the action.
Guys are so visually driven and if you are not feeling sexy you probably are not flaunting your goods to him as much as you used to.
He should be respectful of your feelings, but I think you are over-reacting. See if you cannot reach a compromise.
Oh and quick because you won't be having any more sex once the baby comes!
2006-12-05 06:48:37 · answer #5 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if him looking at porn bothers you then he should stop. It isn't natural for all men to look at porn, it's a self control issue. The fact you are 9mo pregnant and about to have his baby should have him kissing your feet and making you feel like a queen - not have you feeling crappy and paranoid because he can't stop looking at porn.
If you've talked to him about it thats all you can really do. Getting rid of the pc isn't going to solve the problem - he can always bring home porn on dvd or in magazines. Right now, you need to just concentrate on you and your baby.
2006-12-05 06:47:37 · answer #6 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Getting rid of the pornography habit is a hard one and it probably won't happen unless he wants it to. I can assure you though, even thought it might seem necessary or natural for a guy to do, it can be overcome, and your relationship will become stronger because of it.
Hang in there! There are lots of internet blockers, etc. Ask him about it constantly, so that he feels he is accountable to someone. Good luck!
2006-12-05 06:48:48 · answer #7 · answered by kadagaba 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all that is totally disrespectful towards you... He should not be looking at that...especially in your sensitive state...
You should confront him about it and let him know how it makes you feel. If he loves you he will stop and respect your wishes... When a man is in love with a girl/woman...he has no need to look at porn...
Talk to him about ASAP!!!
Good luck!!!!
2006-12-05 06:49:24 · answer #8 · answered by Milkywayman22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have told him how you feel and he is still doing it, tell him again. This time tell him it is not a normal guys thing, it is a normal thing for someone who is not being a good partner, or caring, or someone who is being very selfish.
2006-12-05 06:46:48 · answer #9 · answered by Jon O 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is looking at porn ...he could be out plugging woman. I think you need to chill out and not stress yourself behind some pictures. You should also STOP checking to see the sites that he has viewed...your only making yourself stressed and angry.
2006-12-05 06:50:21 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋