My daughter is way out of control! She has been in detention a few times for running away. I found drugs in her purse and turned her in. She has had a miscarriage 6 months ago. She has no respect for me at all. The last time she was in detention she was almost sent Black Canyon until she 18. Since I had a program set up for her they released her to me. She completed the program and did good for 3 months. Now she has ran away with her looser BF and is living on the streets. She called me to come get her because he beat her up again. When I got there she decided she wanted to stay with him. I told her she had to make a choices to stay with him and never call us or come home or come home and take care of her legal problems. Well she choose him over us! This is killing me inside! Everytime the phone ring i'm afraid the police are calling to tell me something bad has happened to her. I could make her come home against her will but she will just live again. Did I do the right thing?
2006-12-05 06:09:22 · 13 answers · asked by Cheryl C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes you did indeed do the right thing. God forbid if anything happens to her though you'll second guess yourself until the day you die. Thats something you'll never get over but you have to do what is necessary given the circumstances at the time. Your choices here are very limited. You shouldn't have to have your life disrupted. Especially by an damn near adult who knows the difference between right and wrong, good and evil.
Its like this Mom. She's a hell-raiser and must be kept at arm's length. Kids can always hurt you badly and then when they claim to see the errors of their ways, always cry to come home. However some like your daughter take the comforts of home to regroup and strike out again. You haven't a revolving door installed on the front of your house. out she stays and until she can show you she has her head on straight then she cannot come back. Be aware that sometimes situations like this lead her and junkie boyfriend (and you can bet he is one) to come burglarize your house while your away. Keep everything locked down tightly.
Let her go. Maybe someday she'll see the light. In the meantime you and your husband have to keep your sanity and get on with your lives. She's made her bed. As an adult she'll have to lie in it.
My heart goes out to you and I truly hope this works out for the best.
2006-12-05 06:48:53 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is in pain.
She would not have taken drugs and ran off just for nothing.
Your daughters behavior is a cry for help.
She will do anything right or wrong to get your attention.
Something is terribly wrong but she is too ashamed to tell anyone.
This is her way of handling it.
She thinks if she get drunk or high, it will go awy.
The problem is, it will not go away until she can look it in the face.
She will continue to self-destruct in front of the people she knows love her.
She is looking to the strongest person in her life to help her through this and that person is you.
Dont give up on her, she needs you more than ever.
She just needs your help so she can find her way back.
Do everything you can to try to get her get the medical and
emotional help she needs.
Try to find someone that she looks up and still trust..
She is scared, lost, and under the influence of drugs.
PLEASE DO NOT ABANDON HER
Trust me, right now you need to try and be her friend and once she is well, then you can be her mother again.
2006-12-05 06:31:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry! I have a 17 year old (male) at home now. We have had some issues but none as heartbreaking or challenging as yours. One of the things I have seen that (might) help (if she can get enough trust with you) is to pick up and move far away from where ever it is her addiction connections are. She may want to start over but the impulse is to close. I think I would move the entire family across the country as hard as that is! Again easier said than done! So so sorry!
2006-12-05 06:18:00 · answer #3 · answered by doodlerah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry i probally have no place to answer this, as i just turned 18 myself, but you might like my imput as well, so here it is...
at 16 i was just like your daughter, i even ran away from home to live with a boyfriend who cheated on me and abused me, not the smartest thing i could have done...but you know, one day i realized while working the two jobs to support me and him, that i didnt need him, that i needed to get out of the drugs and the drinking, and i did, and im so thankful i did, because now im pregnant, and scared shi.tless, and all i want is my mom, but i disrespected her so much, that she is accepting her grandson, but not me, which i find resonable, but also childish, so think of this senerio, and think of yours, some hell razors never grow up and learn to late, some just learn with no time left...and it really messes everything up...
im sorry if i didnt help any
2006-12-05 06:29:47 · answer #4 · answered by ruspecialenuf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AS a parent you have done so much, so quit beating yourself up and feeling guilty. Your daughter is old enough to know better and she is old enough to make her own choices. Rehab is not going to work unless she wants it. Let her know your door is always open, but as long as she is making decisions that are killing her, then you can have no part.
2006-12-05 06:20:02 · answer #5 · answered by deerogre 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
umm..I think you did do the right thing. If she wants to act like that, and move out, then why should you have to do her dirty work. If i had left home like that I know my parents would have been scared but at the end of the day they would have just said if you wanna do that, we dont approve so we arnt going to support you..
2006-12-05 06:17:43 · answer #6 · answered by Taylor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
next time you see her, let her know that her dicisions in life not only effect her but you as well. but keep up with her and let her find out by herself that you are there for her when she needs you. One of these days she is going to regret things she has done or people are goin to turn her down and she will turn to the person who she trusts-you.
2006-12-05 07:13:34 · answer #7 · answered by Barnes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...hello Cheryl C.
what would you say your daughter is running from...if you please ?
and can you say at what age did she did begin to lose her direction...
where is she happy most Cheryl C....when is she most happy...?
the question you ask , "Did I do the right thing?" .... indicates confusion Cheryl .. somewhere in your considerations .
young unplanned pregnancy and miscarriage is a lot of change and will certainly bring bewilderment .
but try not to let panic get too tight a hold on you or family Cheryl...
and you may want to look at getting her some intervention with you Cheryl .
come back .
be well to you and yours
2006-12-05 06:32:51 · answer #8 · answered by noninvultuous 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take her to church, attend with her. Help her build relationships with trustworthy people. Go to a liberal church with lot of young families.
2006-12-05 06:14:51 · answer #9 · answered by wooliebear07 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
one she cant do anything because she's not 18 and sent her to bootcamp look i'll pray for you and your daughter.....
2006-12-05 06:15:15 · answer #10 · answered by i love Amanda kendall 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋