ok...so im very much in love with my boyfriend...and we are very happy...however my paranoia (cant spell!!) is gettin in the way...
He's had exes..plenty of them...im apparentley the only girl he's loved, respected and satyed faithful to...i have problems in believing this even though he has proven it to me in many ways (his friends are asking what ive done 2 change him...he's told his fam about me (he's asian im white...VERY big deal in some cases) he's spent a lot of time with me, tells me how much he loves me(he finds it hard 2 open up) anyway...im happy with this and in my heart i believe him.
But my head wont get past the fear...for example...he was with a girl for a year (almost)...he treated her like **** (cheated etc)...yt bought her 'tokens'...i mean im nt materialistic...and i have more of his heart and energy than anyone else did...but i still find myself worrying...thinking that he's lyin 2 me...and that this is all just a line!! please help...im drivin myself mad!!
2006-12-05 05:57:21 · 18 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm naturally possessive and territorial as well. But being possessive is nearly the same as objectifying your boyfriend. With material things you have the choice of who sees it, uses it, etc. But you cannot do that with a person.
Being in a relationship requires a lot of faith because you're not always going to be around to monitor their actions. And if you truly love that person, it's a risk you may have to take. The question you have to ask yourself is: would my life be better with him or without him? Once you answer this question, go from there.
If you love him honestly, you'll give the relationship time to develop.
2006-12-05 06:04:41 · answer #1 · answered by §чﺀﺀчβчﻯ†a 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do for yourself is to take a step back. OK, your relationship sounds great, and perfect. But if you carry on with this paranoia, (spelt right!) it will drive him away. The best thing to do is to start seeing him one less day a week, and seeing your friends more, or take up a hobby. You just need something to occupy your mind and divert your attention slightly, take things a little slower perhaps. Might take time and sacrifices, but it will work in the end. And he'll love you even more for it! Good luck!
2006-12-05 14:05:17 · answer #2 · answered by jojobass86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek help! You need to get a grip. If he hasn't done anything that would cause you to think that he is cheating on you, you have a serious issue. Then again, old dog and new tricks are a tough sell unless of course you are the one for him. Did you ever stop and think that maybe because the others didn't mean anything to him, he didn't care if the relationship lasted or not?
2006-12-05 14:17:30 · answer #3 · answered by lbuajlw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, well, well. I'm guessing this is the first boy you have already givin' your heart too huh? but don't sweat it, in the age of dateing boys will come and boys will go. Your heart will be broken, and i am pretty sure you'll break alot of hearts too. how ever, the best advise that can be given to you right now is....." trust your inner feelings. don't listen to friends and family, listen to your inner voice. If YOU think that you are in to far, than you are. I f he loves you, like he says he does, than he'll understand and back off. If he is only about one thing, ( i think we all know what i mean) he'll pressure you and try to make you feel guilty. " don't give in to the pressure unless YOU think YOU are ready." if all else fails and you find your self in a binde, tell him this...."if you want something bad enough, let it go. If it comes back to you, than it is yours to keep. wish you the best, this adviced worked for my girls. peace out!
2006-12-05 14:08:33 · answer #4 · answered by coreyaweber 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your comparing yourself with this other girl, your afraid he'll do you the same way. That is just a chance you have to take with a man, if someone starts trying to get him to talking marriage don't do it. That can ruin a relationship quicker than anything. He seems to be really into to you don't push it or you may end up like the other girl. Men like to do the asking and that is really the proper way to do it.
2006-12-05 14:05:39 · answer #5 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in relationships u have got to have trust! there is nothing worse than ur mind playin tricks on u and always having doubts and fears. honestly u need to just relax and let things happen the way they are meant to. there is no sense in making yourself miserable and worrying about past relationships. he is with u now and if u play your cards right and just relax and if u are meant to be together than u will be. dont bring yourself extra stress there is enough of that in the world already!
2006-12-05 14:06:09 · answer #6 · answered by jo_bryant29 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is one of the most important components in a relationship. If you cant trust someone, it will be hard to keep him. It will cause fights. It will drive him away from you as well. Changes your ways, you have a good thing going.
2006-12-05 14:01:06 · answer #7 · answered by hank 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just try to relax, with the things hes done i can see a bit paranoia but don't go over board yet he hasnt done anything to you so you should trust him and give him a chance, if he ruins it then get pissed and with the rest its up to you but right now be happy with what you have, being too parinoid will hurt your relationship with him which sounds like it will be great and happy
2006-12-05 14:03:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't necessarily mean you distrust him as much as it means you feel insecure in your own lovability. You need to increase your own self-esteem. Read some self-help books. Ask a bookstore clerk or librarian for guidance in finding the right ones. Good luck!
2006-12-05 14:01:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant live you life in constant paranaia. Its gong to eat you up and its going to ruin your relaionship. Just dont worry about what might happen. Lord forbid..if hes gong to go and do something bad then its just not meant to be. And if its not meant to be then you cant waste your time on crying and being upset. But it sounds like hes got his priorties in order so just be thankful that he knows what he wants and what he wants is you and if he chooses another path then he wasnt the one for you.
2006-12-05 14:05:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋