so when i was about 13 my mom left me & her other 5 kids 2 be with her boy friend & do drugs + gamble @ casinos all day. we begged her plenty of times to come back & when she wld it wld only last for a couple weeks tops because she was so addicted. i have 3 siblings in foster care and 2 that are amancipated. i was living with my grandparents the last 3 years i am now almost 17 and i have found a famliy who wants me to live with them because my grandpa is an alcaholic and my grandma is always threatning to kick me out. this family i found takes good care of me. anyways the point is my moms boy friend is in jail & she decided to get her life together & i will admit is doing very well. yet, she is very angry with me because i wont give up the family i have now to go live with her @ my grandparents place til she gets her own place & even if she did get her own place how do i know she wont give me up to go do drugs again with her boyfriend?
2006-12-05 05:52:34 · 13 answers · asked by incubusgirl09 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Don't allow your Mother to guilt you into giving up the happy stable living environment you've found for yourself. You deserve to be happy. Just because you're not living with her that doesn't mean that you won't see her and you grandparents.
You don't owe you mother anything. She's being very selfish by asking you to give up what is good in your life. Explain to her that you love her put you're not going to but your happiness in jeopardy to assure hers. There is no guarantee that she won't backslide into her old ways and ,God forbid, if she does you don't want to be in the middle if that situation. Your mother has no right to ask that of you. She doesn't have a right to be angry with you either. If anyone should be angry it should be you for all that she has put you through.
But clearly you are past that and that's great. Keep doing what your doing & you can be a real success. You don't have to follow the same path as your mother & grandparents.
There is no question here. Stay put with the family that has given you a stable home to live in. It's great that your mother is doing well in her recovery but I'm pretty sure she's not at the point where can take responsibility for herself and you and keep her head above water. Good Luck.
2006-12-05 06:28:23 · answer #1 · answered by genuine1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not totally sure what to tell you, but l believe until you are 18, your mom can make you do pretty much anything, unless she has lost her parental rights on you.
At that point, you'll have to wait until you are 18 to go live with that family you found for yourself.
Another option is to go to social services and talk to them and see if maybe they can do something for you.
Either way, good luck to you and l do hope everything will work out in the end.
2006-12-05 13:56:41 · answer #2 · answered by amarilysusa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you been though a lot and if I was you don't give up were your at now. It has nothing to do with you not loving your mom, because I'm sure you do. I believe you feel safe were you are. and if any thing your mom should see that, but I hate to tell you, your mom is being selfish to get mad at you, she feels your her son and she your mother and you belong with her. that's true, but your mother lost that along time ago and these are the facts now she has to deal with, on want she did. and now she has to except want the out come is, of her losing her mother card. if your happy and feel safe and you know your going to make it in life were you are today don't leave because your mother now feels guilty and she thinks because she sober she has the right to your life, not so. like I said she lost her mother card and I hope you do wants right for you. your 17 yrs old now you got one more year before you become of legal age, don't let her take this last year of your child hood a way. and please don't let her make YOU feel guilty. and when your feeling mix emotions give it to God he will free you. and I hope you learned from your mother and you do something good with your life. finish school and get a trade or career and you won't have to depend on someone. I hope you like to read I know a book for you. it's easy reading and you can find it in most book stores it can help you Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives and get your mom Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids. for your little brothers and sister in foster care it can help her and make her see and understand some things she's done or won't do get this before her boyfriend gets out of jail she needs NA or AA or both she needs to get strong for her other kids and she needs God and she needs to get educated. God Bless You Every Day. the books are by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger
2006-12-05 14:29:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've found a place that you feel comfortable and want to stay, then stay there! You need the stability. Your Mom is just going to have to understand. You don't owe her anything anyway. I'm glad she is trying to get it together, but I wouldn't trust my life for her to mess up again! Congratulations on keeping it together for yourself! I'm very sorry you didn't get the kind of childhood you should have. Stay in school and make sure you pick a good life for yourself! Best wishes...and have a very happy holiday season!
2006-12-05 13:59:11 · answer #4 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry to hear about all of that, but I've been in the same position before, and although it seems like you need to make the decision in a hurry, take your time until you know what's right for you. If the family you're with right now treats you good then stay with them until you know that everything will be fine with your mom. If she's even worth stressing over, she'll wait for you to make a decision. ; )
good luck buddy!
~dc~
2006-12-05 13:57:32 · answer #5 · answered by sirpunchalot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mom truly has changed then good for her and you. If mom does get a place of her own then try and give her a chance. Maybe start by staying one or two nights a week. If mom has changed she'll understand WHY you can't just trust her and will give you the time and space you need. Good luck!!
2006-12-05 14:03:56 · answer #6 · answered by SHERRI 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom, who is an addict, thinks she can get better while living with your grandfather, who is an alcoholic? And she's mad at you for wanting to live with a stable family? Does this sound logical to you? She should be glad.
To be honest, you have done very well to find a better place to live. Don't give it up.
2006-12-05 14:46:41 · answer #7 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wise to remain in the situation you are in, if that is working for you. Do not allow your mother to make you feel guilty. Choosing not to live with her, doesn't mean that you can't start rebuilding your relationship with her. Start small, trust is earned. Perhaps over time you will want to reconsider, but for now, do what is best for you.
2006-12-05 14:02:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hard one but i would say your mother has no right to be mad at you. i can understand her feeling hurt, but if things are as u say they are, you can stay w/your loving, responsible new family and still see and visit your mom if that is your choice. it sounds like a very difficult situation and i hope you and the other kids do well. nice u could open your heart to the new people who r caring for you. best to you
2006-12-05 13:59:09 · answer #9 · answered by AlwaysWondering 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't know inless you go live with her.It is up to her to prove herself to you and you need to tell her that and let her know if she does not prove to be a fit mother you will leave her this time.Make your mom prove her self and you be the grown up and don't back down and walk away.Good Luck to you and maybe you should pray about!
2006-12-05 14:00:46 · answer #10 · answered by Dew 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋