Men, what is the best way for a woman to spice/change things up in the bedroom?

Question

Not including porn/toys or another woman or man...please just something between two people..so it isn't always the same?

Answer 1

Role playing with costumes, random places (kitchen, family room, porch), initiating it with out him asking, getting a kama sutra book/ calender

Answer 2

So sex kitten's answer is sweet, but "I'm not a man" is redundant. NO man is going to think that rose petals, candles and bubble baths are a way to "spice up" the bedroom, unless you get in the bubble bath with another woman. :-) Guys just don't work that way... which, sadly, is also why sex kitten is still waiting for this. (Poor thing. As a suggestion -- guys don't "do" hints, you are going to have to set this up with him and ASK for it.)

But there is DEFINITELY something you can do within the setup you've described -- no porn/toys or other people. You WILL need a set of blank cards (3 x 5 index cards work fine) but don't worry, all you'll be doing is reading from them.

Here's how you make this work: Divide the cards into two equal stacks, at least 10 or 15 for each of you. Give half to him and keep half to yourself.

Then, lay out the rules as follows:

Each of you writes one sexual activity on each card -- something that can be performed in the room, with the two of you, and nothing else. It can be a place to kiss, a specific position, a particular type of foreplay, whatever. Keep the stacks separate, but shuffle them so that you don't know what's going to come up first. Oh, and keep your stacks a secret from your partner -- that's the whole point, not to know.

Then, play a quick card game -- something like a single hand of draw poker -- and the loser takes a card from the winner's stack and has to do WHATEVER IT SAYS, for one minute -- and then STOP.

Then you play another hand, and pick the next card, and the next.

Here's the way to make this a success: Make sure that each of you write down your deepest desires, even if you're embarrassed to ask for them. Writing it down on a card is much less confronting, because the card isn't going to go "ick, ew, no way."

Which means that whatever is on your partner's card... you HAVE to do. You've set the limits -- no toys, no porn, no third parties. The object of this game is to open you up, in the context of a safe relationship with your existing partner, to new sexual experiences.

You should of course add limits that are appropriate for your situation -- for example, your birth control/safe-sex restrictions should still apply. (He can't, for example, choose "Leave the condom off" if that's something you require.) But apart from that, I encourage you -- both of you -- to "go wild" with your fantasies. Half the excitement from this game is from the anticipation of what he's going to ask you to do, how he's going to react when you ask him to do something you may not have asked, and from the mystery of how you'll both respond when you're in a new sexual area together.

But what if he asks something you just can't do, physically or emotionally, or you ask him? There needs to be some kind of "penalty" for this -- something that each of you finds very pleasurable but one-sided. For example, if he refuses a question of yours, he has to give you a backrub for 10 minutes without getting, er, "distracted." (I'm 100% positive that I know EXACTLY what HE wants YOU to do to him, and I'm willing to bet you know too... :-)

So, how do you determine a winner? We never got that far... I think we finally decided that the winner is the one whose question got us so involved that we stopped playing the game and let nature, as it were, take its course. I still think that's a good definition.

In any event, this is something my wife and I actually did, fairly early on in the relationship -- within the first year or so, and that was close to 30 years ago. It set the tone for our subsequent long and very satisfying relationship: committed to each other, open about what we want from each other, and willing to do whatever the other partner asks within the context of a committed, monogamous relationship.

Answer 3

That is a great question,

First, set up the mood and put some scented candles, dim the lights, some soft love songs and do alot of four play (oral) have some red wine and enjoy your time slowly with your loved one, if you want to spice it up some more, put on some porn and try new things.

Enjoy!

Answer 4

ok im not a man but will tell u what i like..

candles lite in the room.. rose petals on the bed and around.. maybe taking a bubble bath together.. stuff like that and yes this is what i want but have yet to get it!!! dont have to have the toys or tapes.. i do like wearing lingerie thats always a spicer upper!!!!

Answer 5

Try a new position that you've never tried before.

Answer 6

I am a woman. Be daring. try all different positions.

Answer 7

Surprise him! Doesn't matter so much what it is, just that he doesn't expect it.

Answer 8

having sex