how should i act around my guy. just found out that he has a 15 month old baby. i mean, i love babies and all.....but should i want to meet the baby or just wait until he asks me if i want to meet him. should i ask questions about the baby? i dont know if i should get to involved becuase of the babies mother.....i dont want to make her mad. i've never dated anyone with a baby before and i dont think i really mind. should i just go with the flow?? and see what happens next?
2006-12-05 05:44:50 · 11 answers · asked by bombshell brunette 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I had the same thing happen to me. At first I was really weirded out and just sort of kept my mouth shut. But eventually, when the baby was at his house and such, he just opened up to me. Eventually I started holding the baby, talking to the baby, and now the baby nearly feels as if he is my own.
I think the best thing to do is to wait and see if he says anything about the baby. If you don't think that you are ready to be in a "motherly" position then I would suggest leaving the relationship, because I think you are bound to bond with child. If you are okay with being that position then go with the flow, wait until he starts talking about the baby with you.
Another word of caution: Do not get so emotionally involved with the baby that you will upset the mother. The mother probably isn't thrilled with the idea of her ex boyfriends new girlfriend hanging around her baby, and understandably so, but there's really nothing that she can do, that's just life. Just try to help the baby understand that you are just its friend, so as to not threaten the mother.
Good luck!
2006-12-05 05:57:09 · answer #1 · answered by Lexie E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The world today has way too many babies in this situation. How sad. You do not sound like you are ready for this situation. Believe me, you will have to be involved in this baby's life if you are involved with the parent. You have no choice! If you had met this parent while he had his child with him,maybe things would be different. The child would have been part of the relationship, and it will have to be, but it wasn't. So get out, or get in!
Good luck.
2006-12-05 13:53:19 · answer #2 · answered by April was here 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be very careful when there is a child involved. He has a whole other set of priorities and he needs to take care of that baby. Wait and make sure you guys are going to last before you get yourself emotionally invested with a baby. When you're sure he's right for you, then you can meet his son. If he's a good Daddy, he will understand...
2006-12-05 13:49:18 · answer #3 · answered by wish2bwriter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now this is a tough situation. Here's my theory, through experience. Let your man make the move on when you meet the baby, but let him know you are open to it. As for the baby's mother, she probably will be threatened, but just try to be respectful of her as the mother and try not to step on her toes. Most importantly, don't allow yourself to be played against her, let all discipline questions be answered by them at least until everyone has become comfortable with the situation. Also, remember you don't have to like this woman, but she's going to be involved in your life probably as long as your with this man, so make sure your willing to deal with that aspect of it. Good luck.
2006-12-05 13:49:54 · answer #4 · answered by S J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this man is now in your life so you are in your own right to ask as many questions as you want about him, the baby and the ex you have to be able to talk to each other about what ever you want. I wouldnt worrie about meeting the baby just go witht he flow,
2006-12-05 13:49:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a right to ask about the baby because as a women you should want to know because if you plan on staying with him, then this will effect you too. You might want to ask why he isn't with her now. There might be some issues that you don't want to step into. Yes it is ok to want to se the child because adventualy he will have to bring the child around you.
***You should look as this as an oppertunity to become closer with him!***
2006-12-05 13:52:56 · answer #6 · answered by Lordes D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have dated men with kids. My best advice is for you to wait till he asks if you wanna meet the kid. I wouldn't push yourself on him. Some couples who are split up with kids, have an agreement not to have the kid around other adults till they have known them for a little while. It's really no big deal dating a guy with a kid, but you are going to have to accept that the kid will come first, not you. So if you use to your guy being all for you and no one else, you might want to rethink dating some one with a kid.
Good Luck.
2006-12-05 13:50:05 · answer #7 · answered by angel2005_2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait until he asks you to meet the child
and sure ask questions about the baby, the baby is part of him
2006-12-05 13:46:59 · answer #8 · answered by Tek ~aka~Legs! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one thing you should do is make sure its over between him and the mother.and then go from there.i know its hard to date a person with kids but its not that bad.yes ask about the baby.and good luck.
2006-12-05 13:49:38 · answer #9 · answered by meme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the baby situation out unless he brings it up.
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2006-12-05 13:46:49 · answer #10 · answered by Saint 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋