Ok we had a few family friends over and they were looking at our wedding photo we just got married on the 22nd of last month and any way the wife ask me how much we spent for the wedding I found this rude but didn't say so because she an older woman and just told her how much we paid for the church and said it was'nt that bad but I'm I overreacting or was that a little rude to ask someone?
2006-12-05 05:37:37 · 18 answers · asked by Young and Wise 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No one brag at how much we spent or saved and it was a super small wedding anyway we wanted to just have witnesses but his mom and godmother wanted us to have something nicer so they did the dress and flowers and planned a dinner
plus the woman who asked does weddings and sews but is charges much more then my mother-in-law and has an additude of superiority she just acts like she better then people
2006-12-05 05:48:19 · update #1
she's only known me a few months she known my husband for years her son is his best friend
2006-12-05 06:09:26 · update #2
I think the only time this question is really acceptable is if they themselves are planning a wedding whether it be for themselves or their children.
I know that I wouldn't have issue telling anyone how much mine costs as long as they were asking because they wanted to know if mine was close to the budget they had planned for theirs. I would not mind sharing this information as the one I'm planning will be less than 10K and I am curious how mine will work according to my budget. So I'll ask them "do you mind telling me how much you spent on your photographer or catering" so I can get an idea if I need to beef up more on that end of my budget and trim on something like center pieces etc...
2006-12-05 06:37:46 · answer #1 · answered by Heather S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a rude question. It is always rude to ask about people's finances. But evidently the woman felt comfortable enough with you that she thought she could, as among friends, ask. Either that or she is just the nosy type who likes comparing how much people make or spend. You did right to refrain from anger. You are not obligated to tell her any amounts at all, and you can just answer her simply and vaguely, like "oh, a fair amount" or "not too much" and move the conversation on. Hopefully she won't press the point again; if she does, try turning it back on her by politely asking why she wants to know - does she have a friend who is getting married soon, etc - if she has no reason then it will be obvious that she is just being nosy.
2006-12-05 05:52:09 · answer #2 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is almost always rude to ask how much something cost. It is probably okay to say it carefully, if you want the same thing (which applies more to a child's toy or maybe a digital camera than a wedding!). "If you don't mind my asking, how much did that cost? Davy wants one, and I haven't been able to price them with my internet connection down." Which is a big hint- don't ask, if you truly must know, look it up. You shouldn't put a person in the position of deciding whether to tell you.
You can probably say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I was raised not to discuss money." Or just "Not too much." "It was worth the price, that's all I'll say." Or something similar- which of course doesn't help now, after the fact.
If you don't mind being rude (and obviously she doesn't) just say "None of your business." and move on to speak to another guest.
Last point: there is a saying something to the effect of "Never assume malice for what stupidity can explain." If you're feeling generous, give her the benefit of the doubt- assume she didn't know any better.
2006-12-05 06:37:39 · answer #3 · answered by imjustasteph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were a friend asking, because she's getting married, or for whatever reason, it would be ok. But in this instance, the woman was very rude and you should have been very vague, saying something like "Not too much. It was affordable." works. This should get across that she is out of line without embarassing her. It all depends on the relationship between the asker and the answerer. This one was not close enough to warrant the question, nor the response.
2006-12-05 05:53:23 · answer #4 · answered by pinkgoddess725 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think you are overreacting. It is rude to ask a question of that nature. What you and your family paid for your wedding is your business and not anyone else's. I would have asked her why she wanted to know. It doesn't matter whether she's an older woman or not, you just have to be a little more diplomatic with some older people. But really, ain't nobody's bisness but your own. Glad you only gave her part of the info. Good for you.
LL
2006-12-05 05:50:10 · answer #5 · answered by LeapingLizard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably is rude, and your answer to her was good, you didn't confront her or make her feel bad. Hopefully, she had a reason to ask, maybe someone in her family is getting married, and she wanted to know what something like she was seeing in the pictures cost.
People today see things like this discussed on TV, and in the rest of the media, and think it is OK to discuss it. And people think by way of friendship, it is OK to discuss it.
What she should of said was: my neice is getting married next spring, do you mind if I ask what something like this cost? It would be a big help to the family. And you could then decide if you want to tell her, or not.
2006-12-05 05:55:52 · answer #6 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm I think your being a little sensitive. I doubt thast she as asking because she wanted to be nosy, but then again. Anyway, if she said how much is was ur wedding ring, or whast your yearly salary like. The those are silly, but many people tell what they spent on a wedding, or at least an approximate value. Whats the big secret either way?
2006-12-05 05:42:08 · answer #7 · answered by peacfulwar 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People often ask about the finances of others without realizing that they're being rude.
If anyone asks you a question that you think is rude, just smile and say, "Why do you ask?" Sometimes they'll realize that they're being rude, and sometimes they'll have a legitimate reason for asking, and you may be comfortable giving them the information that they really need and not the entire answer.
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2006-12-05 05:41:26 · answer #8 · answered by Dboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not in the journey that they are an in intensity pal. confident they are going to be more advantageous than satisfied to inform. i latterly worked with a gal who prepared for 2 years previously her wedding ceremony. In that element she chosen from many kinds and she replaced into telling us all how a lot each and each and every of the garments were gonna fee her. Why might want to or not this is a secret? although, if this human being is prudish and needs to save that one and all to herself, then this is her precedence and accurate, now to not show and do not push the issue. yet previously you ask, be confident that that is a pal who's actual not indignant to be requested.
2016-11-30 04:22:18 · answer #9 · answered by duperne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either way she was going to make a judgement about you or your special day based on that number, and she wasn't asking to be nice, and that doesn't reserve a response. Ask her what she thinks you spent on the wedding, then tell her more or less. Either way it's none of her business.
2006-12-05 07:31:02 · answer #10 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋