How far apart is *too* far apart to have your kids?

Question

My husband and I are thinking of having #2, but want to wait another year or so (our daughter is 14 months). Just wondering what your experiences have been.

Answer 1

There is no magic age. Just have another child when it is the right time in your life. My children are 6, 4, and 3. The youngest are only 12 months apart. I like it now, but wow was it hard when they were babies. My sister and I are 13 years apart. We obviously get along great b/c of the age difference. She was my baby....and still is even though she is about to outgrow me in a couple of years I'm sure. Good things about having them close together are that they are interested in the same things so they can play together and both enjoy the games, or toys. They grow up together. They are very protective of one another. My kids can't even go to the bathroom without the other one. Good things about them being farther apart is that your older child can help out with the baby....and will enjoy this! Your oldest will also have a chance to be the baby. So, sorry I couldn't be more help, but to me....there is not answer. Have them when it is the right time in your life.

Answer 2

We have three daughters who are all 20 months apart, I really love how close they are and how they have a lot of fun playing together. But it is really hard on me, but is getting easier as they get older. If I had done it differently I would have still had the first two between 18 months to 2 years apart. But I would have waited 3 years to have the third. My good friend has two boys who are almost exactly 3 years apart and they don't play much together at all, mostly they just fight. My brother and sister (twins) are 4 years older than me and we rarely got along at all and now we live too far apart. So I wouldn't suggest more than 2-3 years apart if you want your children to get along. But if you are more worried about how hard it will be on you and your husband, it will be easier if they are more than 3 years.

Answer 3

Me and my 2 half-brothers are all an even 10 years apart. My older brother was born in '64, me in '74 and the youngest in '84. My older brother left the nest when I was about 6 and I also left home when my little brother was quite young. To this day, I am not close with either of them, and they have a 20 year difference between them. Mind you, presently, they live only houses apart, and I live very far away from either, but I think they are close (to the best of my knowledge). At the other end of the spectrum, I had my two little ones 13 months apart and the two pregnancies so close together really really took a lot out of my body physically as I think I should have taken more time to let myself recuperate from the first birth more fully before the second pregnancy. Happily though, my two are actually very very close and two peas in a pod. Of course, however, every family and every woman's body is different, but I hope these examples help :)

Answer 4

My parents had my older sister, then 2 years later had me, then 3 years later had my little sister. But now, I have a 3 year old brother and another sibling on the way...that is way to far apart. My father will have a 22 year age gap between his oldest and youngest. I think around 2 years is a good difference. With around a 2 year age difference the kids will still be close enough in age to want to play together. I think over 2 years and the kids may not want to play together because there will be such a big age difference. My older sister and I never liked to play with my younger sister because she was just a baby when we were 5 and 3.

Answer 5

I have two sisters 13 and 9. And one brother, 11. And i am 16. Even being 3 years away from my sister we are each others best friends. My brother is my buddy. Hes funny and a little charmer. Im really close to him as well, but i think thats because we have similar personalities. Im also close to my younger sister. I think age gaps of 2-3 years are perfect. So if you decide to wait a while and spend more time with your little girl, i think thats wonderful. I dont really think its the age gaps but how the family is raised. If your spending time as a family doing things together and bonding then your kids are going to be close no matter how far apart they are in age.

Answer 6

I have 4 sons, They range in age from 12 years to 26 years old. They were all spaced a bit. I liked it because they all had their "baby" time. One was always potty trained and bottle broke before the next one came along. I really enjoyed it that way. On the other hand I have a sister that had her two daughters 15 months apart and although it was rough at times she got through the diapers and bottles a lot sooner then I did. I think it is just personal preference!

Answer 7

I think it depends on the family. there is no "right" or "wrong"
My older two kids are 15 months apart and then they have a little brother who is 11 yrs behind them. Ages 13(almost 14) 12 and 2 1/2 . (he also has a sister who is 21, but doesnt see her)

Answer 8

My parent's had all of us 3-4 years apart and I think that was too long. I'm not good friends with any of my brothers or sisters.

We are trying to have them within 2 years of each other. I don't know if it will help, but that's what we are doing. We have a 10 month old daughter and we are just starting to try again.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Well, here's the ages of my brothers and myself- I'm 24, then 18, then 11. So between me and my youngest brother-that's 13 yrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And honestly, I helped raise him, he's my buddy :) I have a 14 month old son right now :) It's a lot of work, I think I need to wait a couple of years before I have another because being so young, they still need to be held and lot's of attention. I'm also afraid our next will be just as colicky as my son... so that would mean I'd have to be holding the new baby constantly and not be able to give my son as much attention. Whenever you feel ready, have another :) It's completely up to you.

Answer 10

I think it depends on the family. So it really is a personal choice you yourself has to make. I myself wouldn't have a child any less then 4 years apart. Unless of course I got pregnant and it wasn't planned. I have a 6 month old son and wouldnt' want to try until he was probably close to 4 because I want to spend the time with him.

Again it is just a personal choice only you can make.