new moms please?

Question

if you were a new mother, and you and the father broke up while you were pregnant. now the baby is here and he has been really good. supportive beyond expections with money clothes and diapers. long ago said sorry, and been good. 4 months pass and things are still going well, now he says he loves you and want's to be a family together. would you consider working things out

Answer 1

Yes, I would definitely want us to be together, if I still loved him.

But I would also be afraid of jumping right back into anything too serious. I don't know the specifics behind your breakup but they were obviously serious enough to cause the breakup. That would have me a bit paranoid that if we were to get back together, the relationship wouldn't work. I would need the father to bend over backwards to prove to me that he truly loved me (and not just our child or because of the child) and was in it for the long haul. Once a woman becomes a mom, she has to think about what would be best for both her and her child. And no one would want to have to go through that kind of trauma again. Or put their child through that.

I know you are eager to be together and raise your daughter but I suggest you take it one day at a time. Give yourselves time to get to know each other again and for the trust to build. It sounds like you both care/love for each other, you just need time.
Open and honest communication is very important. I've read some of your other posts and you seem very caring and honest.
You need to sit down with your daughters mother and tell her how you feel and what you want. Ask her how she feels and what she wants. Don't push it too much but let her know that you need her to be honest with you and give her a few days to think it over. Don't give her any ultimatums, (like marry me tomorrow or we're through), but let her know you can't be left hanging either.

Good luck and I hope, for yours and your daughters sake, that you can be a happy and loving family. (Which can still happen even if you and the mom are not together).

Answer 2

it depends on why you broke up. if it was because he was scared or something along those lines, then i would consider taking him back because it is completely normal for a guy to be scared of being a dad. society puts alot on the "dads" responsibility (not that the mother has it easy or anything). i was scared when i found out i was going to be a dad and i was married. you should talk to him and go with your gut. i dont think you would be asking this question if you didnt want to take him back. you need to weigh the options and make the best decision you can.

good luck, ill be praying for you!!!

Answer 3

Well that's real noble o him to help but I guess it would all depend on the circumstances surrounding the breakup and if I hadn't already found someone new. But I suppose if the feelings where mutually than yes I would probably try to work things out.

Answer 4

That will have many factors. If you love him then you can try to work it out. I would not consider moving in until after a year or so. It's a lot to handle with a baby, but you can't just think of yourself you have to think of your baby also.

Answer 5

I did that and we ended up divorced then we got married again. We have been together 11 years now. I say follow your heart. Only you know if he has really changed and means what he says. I hope it works out for you. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Of course. What he did in the past is over. He said he was sorry. What else do you want? He's there, he's helping you. That's more than alot of men would do. Be thankful he woke up and is being responsible for you and your baby.

Answer 7

If i still had feelings for him, then yes. And if we had worked through the issues that broke us up in the 1st place. But just make sure its what you want, don't do it just for the child.

Answer 8

YES....The same happened in my relationship. Now we have 2 kids and still together strong. Best wishes to you.