I am getting married in June and me and a friend that I have asked to be in the wedding has kinda had a falling out. She did something behind my back and didn't have the decensey to tell me and ended up saying something to my best friend and I found out. What would be the best way to tell her that I no longer want her in my wedding? We were really good friends, but if she is going to do something like that I don't feel as though she is a true friend.
2006-12-05 05:17:17 · 9 answers · asked by manders 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I had to go through this with one of my bridesmaids, I had all of the other girls in my party tell me that she should be kicked out. I waited a week so that I was acting on my own instead of what everyone was telling me.
I emailed her (we live 12 hours away from each other) to ask her when a good time to talk was and phoned her on the night she said.
I started by telling her that in all good friendships there are fights, and miscommunications and incidents. I told her that I have a friend who when she has an issue with our friendship she brings it up and I feel that our friendship is strong because of the honesty in it. Then I turned the conversation around and told her that there were some issues that were bothering me about her. And I listed them, I told her that it didn't mean that i loved her any less just that I was disappointed in it.
I told her that at that time I was still not sure if I wanted her in my wedding party or not because i did not feel like she was supporting me the way she should and I only wanted people up there who could give me their full attention (as that is what I did at her wedding where I was her maid of honor, I worked my butt off at her wedding). After the conversation (which she took really well) I told her that I had to sit back and think about things and that I would phone her again onced I felt I had thought about things and talked it out with my fiance.
She is still in my wedding party, our friendship seems better because of it and the honesty in our friendship was brought to a whole other level.
I would say don't just throw her away, think about things and don't act on impulse act on what you have thought about. Think about it as how will it effect you in 10 minutes 10 days and 10 years. good luck and I hope that this helps!
2006-12-05 05:44:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just explain to her that keeping secrets like that is not acceptable behavior from your true friend and if she doesn't have a reason or an explanation then you just tell her that because of this you no longer want her around - the old keep your friends close and your enemies closer thing does not work in weddings! ;) Then inform her that her services at your wedding are no longer needed and make sure to let her know if she is even still invited to attend because if she done something to hurt you, it is possible she may do it again.
2006-12-05 13:23:05 · answer #2 · answered by s10burke 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her now before the wedding starts getting any closer. Just be honest about it - she did something wrong and she's out of the wedding, simple as that.
2006-12-05 13:36:31 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say talk to her about it. You may not know the whole story. If after you speak to her about it and you still don't want her in the wedding, then just tell her. I don't think there's an easy way of dealing with this situation.
2006-12-05 13:27:17 · answer #4 · answered by baadfishii_35 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be sure that you don't want to save this freindship before you do anything because asking her to get out of your wedding will definately reduce the chance of any reconcilliation.
Be honest with her. If you are ready to be done with her, I wouldn't worry about her reaction anyway
2006-12-05 13:53:17 · answer #5 · answered by Sara K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront her about it and clarify things. Then you can decide on what to do. You can either:
Don't send her an invitation. She will get the idea.
If you already sent her an invitation, you can tell her that she is no longer invited to you wedding.
Good luck
2006-12-05 13:34:12 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and her were really good friends, are you sure its all done? I don't know what she did, but could you give her a chance to make things right? How close are you? Are you willing to end a friendship without trying to fix it? It could be that you can't fix it, but would you regret not trying?
2006-12-05 13:24:35 · answer #7 · answered by AmyB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe you should forgive her and give her another chance to be your friend. Don't exclude her from your wedding now just to get even with her.
2006-12-05 13:24:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
u should have the courage 2 tell her
otherwise it may cause hurdles after ur marriage
2006-12-05 13:22:45 · answer #9 · answered by know me better 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋