The shock was so devastating since you were a model family in your community. You also found out that he has 3 kids with his mistress.
2006-12-05 05:05:13 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well,
first i'd cry,
then i'd cry some more.
after i've let out the tears, i'd let out the rage. i'd destroy one of his prized possessions (golf club, or stuff guys like). after that i'm sure i'd feel better (even though it solved nothing), then i'd calm down, stop acting so rash and get to the problem.
i'd kick him to the curb (that is put him in the dog house, see if he can stay somewhere else apart from home), while i'm figuring out what to do. I won't speak to him for a while, and i'd avoid him, cuz i know if i c him i'll kill him; plus seeing him will just make me hurt the more. then i'd call one of my most trusted family members (my sister, my mother etc) and ask for advice on what to do.
then i'd see if the relationship is worth keeping, if i can forgive him and go on loving him. if i can, then we would have a lot (a whole lot) of talking to do, because there are children involved. if i can't forgive him, and go on with him - i'll divorce him! if we have children, i'll try making it a clean and nice divorce, because no matter how mad i am at him, he is still their father and they need him.
whatever the case, it will definitely be hard. at this point, you'll have to be honest about u guys relationship, and if the community is in shock, don't be ashamed of it (they the community probably have worse problems than you, and if they try to make u feel bad about your situation, then it's just because their own problems are so bad, they can't face it, so they turn to yours). create a support group during this time (family is always the best), and think about your happiness, and your childrens'.
meet with his mistress, if she is reasonable, you guys can have a talk about when you guys will be having the kids over (that is if u aren't going to divorce him), and if she isn't reasonable, then tell your husband to stand up to her, and have a chat with her. if you will divorce him, then there'll be no need for this.
take courage! it's difficult, i know! but people are generally stronger than they think they are, so you will make it through this.
p.s. it's a lady answering this, ignore the avatar!
2006-12-05 06:15:35 · answer #1 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get a 32 pack and the 357 Go get me some a$$ (husband and Mistress) a$$
2006-12-05 05:29:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has been a busy man. Keeping two families and a MISTRESS. How could you NOT KNOW what was going on. Just LEAVE and get on with your LIFE.
2006-12-05 05:14:56 · answer #3 · answered by Monty L 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would leave immediately as the life you lead was not what you thought. What other secrets does he have hidden? I would be nervous of a social dysfunction and he may be ready to snap.
If you leave go where he will never find you. Maybe I've seen to many documentaries on this but I would be very cautious.
2006-12-05 05:57:10 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HOLY SH*T...did this happen to you or is it a hypothetical question? My first reaction would be to hit him with the car and put it in reverse and run him over again and repeatedly do this til he's no longer breathing......but in all honesty, I dont know, nobody ever knows how they will truly react in any situation until it happens to them....I mean a part of me is thinking..."he's still the same person he was to you yesterday" and "maybe he just really does love both of you"...but omg...the mistrust, all the lies he must of had to tell....you would have to wonder if you ever knew that person...wow, extremely difficult situation...
2006-12-05 05:14:34 · answer #5 · answered by ~LAX Mom~ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So, you just learned that the past 25 years of your life was a lie.
Ask yourself how you are going to spend the next 25 years.
If you forgive him, you have given him the license to cheat forever.
Divorce him now...stand tall and proud...get on with your life without him.
2006-12-05 05:22:20 · answer #6 · answered by drgolfmd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would call the other women, because I am sure she didn't know, and if she did I would prolly hurt her, but saying she didn't I would start with support from and for her and her kids. Because we were all fooled by the same fool. No one would understand like she would. Then I would plot revenge with her....
2006-12-05 05:27:15 · answer #7 · answered by Dizzy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I'd kick him to the curb because everyone deserves MORE than that. You are worth more and deserve a better man than that. Divorce him and get on with your life.
2006-12-05 05:22:38 · answer #8 · answered by SHERRI 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take him for everything he has --because he has taken all you have -- he took a huge part of your life- only to find out it was all a lie!
You deserve better and can probably find it out there. Get a good lawyer.
2006-12-05 05:21:16 · answer #9 · answered by jamocha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would want to kill him. I would probably plan the whole murder so that he knew I was killing him but I would still get away with it. (After I made sure all the money was coming to me of course) I would want to find out if the other women was also deceived. If she knew I would not share my new money.
2006-12-05 05:09:28 · answer #10 · answered by artimis 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋