Do you ever blow up like I just did?

Question

Stay at home mom of a 2 yr old and a almost 4yr old. Do u ever get tired n frustrated at the endless noise, chatter n gazillion questions from ur kids? So much so, that u go into the bathroom hoping for a few minutes peace? I "escaped" just now and then yelled at 4 yr old to leave me alone for a "few damn minutes" after he came knocking twice (nothing important). To make matters worse, my husband works too much and I hv no friends or relatives in this state. Does anyone else sometimes feel/react like this? Did I over react?

Answer 1

Sounds like me sometimes...My daughters are 4 and 2 and my husband also works alot and I have relatives that live close by but I still feel alone....Email me if ya need a helping word sometimes...

Answer 2

Overreact? Maybe. But we all do need a time out once in a while, even the adults. It is very easy to become overwhelmed. I am also a stay at home mom with very few friends and no childcare. It is hard. Schedule down time into your day. You went into the bathroom for the time out which was good but yelling at your son while you were in there may have been over the top. Next time, calm yourself and tell him that mommy needs a bit of quiet for a while. Also, TV isn't the evil that many make it out to be. Put on some Pooh for a half hour and open a book to escape. Or find a young girl in the neighborhood that would like to be a mother's helper after school. You don't need to feel comfortable leaving her alone in the house with them - sometimes it is nice to get away to a different room while you know your children are being watched. I know I would go insane if I didn't have my 13 year old daughter to watch my 2.5 year old a couple time a week after school - then I hide here on the computer.
Also, talk to your husband. Is it a financial necessity for him to work so much? If not ask him to reduce his hours or find a less time consuming route home. If he is a workoholic let him know that there is plenty at home he could do - lol.
Good luck and I hope this has helped. You can also find support from other SAHMs online. They can be great help.

edit to add:
Also, feel good about your decision to escape. Many parents would have just plastered their kids to the wall with a good hard whack. You are doing okay, don't worry.

Answer 3

Well, yes and no on the overreacting part. Yes, it was a little extreme to take it on a child who probably feels the frustration that is coming from you. No, because a person can only take so much and it is not like you went on a rampage and hit him, that would have been too extreme. Now let me tell you, I have been in your position more than once. Sometimes escapes do not work, so one must find a way to make them work, like go for a walk, go to the park, or go for a drive (if able). Children actually benefit from walking and beginning at two years of age, going for a walk is a great way to introduce exercise and the benefits, after twenty minutes of walking the children will be ready go home and rest--this is your chance for the escape, go to a quiet place and take some deep breaths, count to ten, or beat up a pillow-- or even all three. Going to the park, there are many benefits here, the children get exercise (which removes most of the energy) and after about 1/2 hour to an hour of play they are ready for home and a snack-- again Mommies break time. Go for drive, what child does not like to go for ride discovering things they had not noticed before, this type of stimulation wears them down, and after a twenty to thirty minute ride, they are ready for home, maybe even a nap-- again her is Mommy's break time.
Big one, when they go down for the afternoon nap, Mommy take a nap too, this gives a great refreshment and allows the brain to relax before "Playtime" begins again.
One question, does your husband care for the children on his day off? This is how it should be to give Mommy a day for "me time," even for a few hours so each of you has a break.

Answer 4

No you did not over react. yes I blow up like that all the time. I am not even a stay at home mom and my boys are 15, 11 and 7. Sounds like you need to find a way to get a couple of hours to yourself a week. Any way to find a playgroup for the kids or possible the public library has story time. you will probably have to be there but atleast you would have contact with other moms. Find a teenager to come over after they are out of school for an hour once in awhile just so you can take a walk or get a break. It is hard to be a parent without much support from your husband.

Answer 5

AWWW you are so stressed out. I do know how you feel for sure. I have two kids, almost 4 and 3 months...plus I do in-home daycare so sometimes especially at the end of the week I feel like I'm going to go crazy from all the constant questions, whining, cleaning up, making bottles...just endless tasks. I too have "exploded" like that and then felt horrible about it.

As far as not having any friends, maybe you can join a moms group in your area to meet some other moms that can relate to your situation. Your local hospital usually has great resources for this and may even facilitate some groups.

When you do explode on your son like that be sure to apologize once you've cooled down, it will turn it into a teaching moment by allowing you to show him that you have emotions and it is OK to feel frustrated but you need to treat others kindly and apologize for being inconsiderate. Next time you feel that way try putting on a movie he likes and tell him if he watches half the movie (for example tell him until Lady gets sent to the dog pound...) then he will get a treat (a piece of candy or something). Hopefully this will give you enough time to calm down.

Answer 6

YES!! YES!! a million times YES!!.
I have 5 yr old son, 3 yr old daughter and a son due in January. I too am a stay at home mom and I also homeschool talk about no breaks... I think every mom at one time or another has blown up at some point. I send my son to his room at least once a day and at least once a week I "point out" to my husband how much I need his help. It's normal. We live in Michigan and yesterday it snowed like 1/3 of an inch if that and my kids have already started the can we go play in the snow that will last ALL winter long. Just hang in there and know that you are not alone. Invest in baby gates and when you need a few minutes make sure you block off all areas you don't want them in and go in the bathroom. Kids are resilient. They know that we love them and they forget very quickly that you were mad at them. Happy Holidays and good luck to you. Duh forgot to add, I love my children very much and wouldn't change anything for the world.

Answer 7

I have escaped to the bathroom myself on a few occastions. I think almost every stay at home mom does this. It can be overwhelming and frustrating at times and I don't think a lot of people can realize this. I have a 2 year old and a 6 year old. My 6 year old has ADHD and we just recently put him on meds so for the past 5 1/2 years I've had to deal with all the hyper activity that it just wears you down . Now that he's in school full time it's a little easier. Look into preschool for your 4 year old. Once he's out of the house for a couple hours and it's just one on one with your 2 year old it will be a little easier to recoup and re energize when he gets home.

Answer 8

You know what you need? A mommy group. The kids can play together and you'd get some time to talk to adults. Everyone feels like you do right now. It was a bit over reacting but that happens. You didn't hurt the child. That's important. Can you afford a babysitter at least once a month or so and just go out and be alone? I'm like you, but at least my son goes to school. It's hard but one day they'll be grown and beleive it or not you'll miss these days!!!

Answer 9

Being a mom is a stressful job. It's the only job that's works hours are 24-7 for 20+ years.

You did over-react a bit, but under the circumstances, it's understandable.

I feel the same way and I only have a 10 month old.

Honestly, when I feel that way, I take a shot of vodka. I'm never drunk (I never have more then 2 in a single day, usually one does the trick). When my husband gets home I hand him the kid and take a bath all by myself. I also eat a ton of chocolate.

Do you have a friend or family member who could take care of the kids for an hour so you can get some you time?

I'd be happy to chat sometime, if you need to.

Answer 10

Oh I feel for you I'm also a stay at home mom with 2 boys, 4 and 2 its hard, and yes I have done the same thing. It sucks because you feel soo bad after doing it. When your husband does come home just walk away for a while take a mommy minute. Email me any time if you need a friend to talk to. :) Good luck

Answer 11

Yes I too am a stay at home mom. With a 12 year old ...2 year old and one on the way.... Hubby travels a lot with job so I am left with most if not all of the duties with the children. You must remember your children are just children. You are the adult and you have self control yelling at your child because you are frustrated is not fair. I do a lot to try and get myself away from the isolation of motherhood and staying home. My 2 year old goes to a Monday and Wednesday toddler adventure (2 1/2 hours) where they teach her socialization and she gets to be with children her own age. And believe that time away from each other is a God send. We walk the mall before it opens or Attend a weekly Kiddie Time (an open gym at our local rec center where the children can play for a couple of hours). It is important to take care of yourself and when you are home allow your hubby to participate. You go take a bubble bath or go see a movie by yourself, go shopping. or pamper you feet and nails. Staying at home is suppose to be a benefit. It is no benefit when the mother is unheathly, tired, and frustrated. Get yourself into mommy playgroups and force yourself to get out and meet other mothers. You must do it for yourself.