My boyfirend & I have been together over 2 years. We've had our share of problems & broken up a couple times. Both times we ended up back together cause he said that he just couldn't get me off his mind & that when he thought about dating other women he thought about me & compared them all 2 me. We've been back together about 6 months & we're expecting a baby. We don't live together I have my house in another town-he still lives with his parents. (He's 28;I'm 25) He's very involved in his community & doesn't want 2 leave. I am willing 2 accept that & move there 2 be with him. We're both in debt & when we talk about moving in together he says we just can't afford it. While talking about our relationship recently he broke down & cried & told me that he has ruined every relationship he has ever been in. He said that he's afraid 2 commit but I wander if it's more. He loves me but he doesn't know if the relationship will work. Is he really afraid of commitment or just of settling with me??
2006-12-05 04:57:46 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he's so afraid of things not working, he can easily get marriage counseling to learn how to make it work. He sounds extremely immature and self-centered. He's not afraid of anything except being an adult.
2006-12-05 05:01:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be making all the commitment, in the end you'll be extremely resentful of him for not playing his part and it will most likely end. He could be coming back to you as a safety net. Don't put pressure on him, back off, give space and time to think. He should know that he is the father of your child, that both of you being in debt, living together is a good way to cut the cost of living expenses although it shouldn't be the only reason. Give him a chance to prove himself but don't let him dick you around. If necessary leave him. One question He's almost 30 years of age, and still living at home, maybe he's afraid of life in general.
2006-12-05 13:04:20 · answer #2 · answered by LoveLeighe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're expecting a baby. that's a huge commitment already.
My guess: He's immature, and is not ready to take full responsibility for you and your baby.
He needs to grow up. He loves you - you have a tie that is bound by love. But he's too comfortable with you, and what he has to take a bigger step.
You need to give him an ultimatum of some sort.
It's only dragging on, because you really don't mind it.
If you want full commitment, you'd be ready to leave him if he doesn't.
2006-12-05 13:03:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont you sincerely talk to him? I was afraid 2 commit with my boyfriend and I talked to him about it and it helped me get over it, so maybe if you talk to him and see what the real problem is you can fix it.
2006-12-05 13:04:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋