I am going through the roughest time of my life. I am in a relationship that is strained due to the fact that me and her are of different races. Her parents don't approve that I'm of a different race. We are both 24 year old university students. I already suffer from depression. The uncertainty of this relationship has taken a toll on me to the point that my progress at the university has droped. I am being dismissed from school unti the fall of 2007. I am going to tell her, but I worry that she will leave me because of this fact. I'm probably worrying over nothing again, but what is your input on this?
2006-12-05 04:48:33 · 20 answers · asked by TheT 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your head seems a bit all over the place at the mo. i think you need some time and space to think things over and what your really want
2006-12-05 04:51:38 · answer #1 · answered by smiles 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it were true love, the parental opinion would not be of any significance. Is she still 'obeying' her parents at 24 yrs old ? There is a huge difference between respect & obeying . . . you always respect them but that should NOT translate to obeying. If she is 'obeying' them, she is too immature for true love. You should never invest all your emotions in someone so immature. Apparently you have put too much into her so taking time off from school might be a good idea. Get a temporary job that will give you some experience, give you a diversion & allow you to get out from under this dead weight. Although you should not date seriously, you should immediately get into social activities that have you meeting more people on a friend basis until you get your head straight.
My husband & I were different races and the rest of the worlds opinions (including relatives) were of no consequence. Our relationship was ours, and only our opinions of each other counted. Go back out and eventually you will meet a grown up woman instead of a child.
2006-12-05 05:00:07 · answer #2 · answered by kate 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been together? A while or just about a month? If she truly cares about you, she will help you through this hard time. I know how hard it is when parents don't approve of your loved one, but in time they will get over it. I think you need to sit and talk with her. Does she know about your depression? I would put all the cards on the table if you have been with her for a while. If it's been a short time, ease her into everything. I would also try to find out how she feels about her parents. Try to keep an open line of communication between you and all should be fine. Hope this helps.
2006-12-05 05:01:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to get a grip.... First and foremost, you need to take care of you. If you are letting the fact that her parents don't approve of you because you are a different race, then you were never strong enough to endure the relationship from the get go! Now I don't mean to sound cruel, but guess what? Life is rough and people are mean! You can't change that. It is irrelevant. First thing you need to concentrate on is getting back into school....somewhere. If she doesn't support that, then you don't need to be with her anyway.
After you get back into school, you two need to decide how committed you are to each other. You need to figure out whether or not you will endure the strains that go along with being in an interracial relationship. I have news for you, her parents aren't the half of it. People in general will not approve of your relationship and you have to be strong and committed in order to overcome that! People will smile in your face then talk about you behind your back, you will get stares, and good gracious, when you get a "real job", the corporate talk will be outrageous! Get used to it or get out of the relationship.
2006-12-05 04:55:44 · answer #4 · answered by favrd1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say that you're worrying over nothing. I agree this is a very stressful time in your life, but don't let something as minor as different races tear the love you too have created apart. Listen, continue with your education, after all it is WAY more impolrtant than any gir l could ever be. If she loves you the way you say, she'll be there with you no matter what.
2006-12-05 04:52:42 · answer #5 · answered by Jay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If her parents are against you, and everything is so hard to come by then you need to rethink this whole thing. I'm old enough and have lived long enough to tell you this, LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH. You really need to think straight, because one day (if you marry her) she will want her parents approval and she will have to choose. Then you will bring children into the mix and it will get even more complicated. Do not be in a hurry to put yourself in this situation. Its better to hurt now than hurt for years later.
2006-12-05 04:53:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she will leave you over this but you two definitly need to sit down and talk. Interracial couples taakes more work because alot of people are still not accepting of it. But the fact that you are extremely depressed is more of a cause for concern. You should probably talk to yor doctor, there might be anxiety medication that you could take. Good Luck!
2006-12-05 04:53:00 · answer #7 · answered by joker:P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Focus on your future you have reached university level finish what you started who cares about race at this stage when you graduate with your degree you can take all the time to worry about who likes you or not, if it does not bother your 24 old girl then why should it bother you, don't mess up your life.
2006-12-05 04:56:36 · answer #8 · answered by lara 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are still learning to be an adult in life, You have the power within yourself to decide what you want, your girlfriend has the same choice as you. If you are human what is she? Did you mean religion or nationality? You are still studying or in school focus on your education and leave the hard stuff till after that.
Just remember. Whatever happens, you will survive and time heals all wounds.
2006-12-05 04:54:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I have the same problem with my parents dislike anyone else race besides Mexican. I hate it and I just figure that I don't tell them about the person that I'm dating. I tell them I'm busy with school work or work that there wouldn't couldn't be time. I suffer with depression too. And Like me I'm going to wait until we want them to know know we want to get married. Good Luck you'll need it. I hope you start to feel better.
2006-12-05 05:02:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
relationship is hard to find and is twice as hard to maintain. If she love you and you love her than its not up to her parents to decide what's right. The point of having a boy/girl friend is to make each other happy not depress and sad. if you question your relationship it just mean that you don't really love her as much as you think you do because your having second thoughts. Tell truth is always the right thing to do. it's not easy but it's the best way out of anything. Open up yourself to her and tell her how you feel.
P.S. wishes you the best
2006-12-05 04:54:43 · answer #11 · answered by smile 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋