no sex until marrage all the sudden?

Question

my gf of two years has started to use the church to resolve some of her personal problems. I myself am not really that religous, but I do respect her view points. The problem is that she has become very hipocritical about various things. I smoke and so does she when she drinks, however because of her new found faith she is constantly harping on me about everything from smoking, drinking, swearing and sex. I'm a good guy and treat her very good, I don't drink too much and I don't have a trucker mouth. my problem is that she does all of the above but not in excess and either do I.
now she says no sex untill we're married, I just don't know if I can take it anymore. we went from twice a day too not at all for the last 3 months. how do I handle her religous turn around?, my main problem is that she never really sticks with anything, so Im not willing to change my whole life over a phase, when I'm already very good to her and put up with tons of her bs already.

Answer 1

Tell her BJs aren't sex, and ride the phase out.

Answer 2

If you bottom out on the bumps on the road to marriage then you need to do a U turn and head back the way you came. Relationships are hard work and they take time and both people to make them work. If you loved this woman, truly loved her then you would be willing to stand by her side and support her decisions no matter how unreasonable they sound. She's discovering a new phase in her life and she is probably just as confused about it as you are. All she is trying to do is live her life, the right way, it's nothing against you. All I'm saying is that I don't think your ready for marriage and if you cant accept her choices then you should move on with your life before things become worse for the both of you.

Answer 3

You should be honest with her. Let her know that you do value her opinion and that you understand her new beliefs, but that you don't feel the same wat. She fell in love with you knowing that you did all of these things, so she can't expect you to change now just because she has. Let you know that you will be there for what ever she needs, but not to push her new beliefs on you. As far as the sex thing, if she isn't willing to have it there really isn't much you can do unless you break up with her or cheat on her, but that isn't something that I suggest doing. Espeacially since this all sounds like just a phase she's going through. Good Luck!!

Answer 4

If you truly love her you'd let her explore this "phase" in fact you may even want to explore it with her. At the very least, know how she feels about it and let her know how you feel when you feel she's "harping" you about this or that. It sounds like she's striving to become a better person, she's working on herself and that is a very good thing. She may be trying to find out, who she is and who she wants to be. If you find that you don't like this person she truly is then let her go. If you explore all of these thoughts together you'll have a better chance at a great relationship than if you keep it bottled up inside or "attack" her with defiance.
Best of luck!

Answer 5

Ask yourself how mature your relationship is. If you are mature and your relationship is mature, you will pursue marriage. If you are not interested in marrying her, ask yourself, "why not?"

If you think you may want to marry her, it would be worth the time for you to seriously investigate her religion. Partners of the same religion are much more likely to stay together. Maybe you will find a higher meaning in your life than the pleasures of smoking and drinking. It sounds like you feel you are a good person. Maybe her religion will help you explore your good instincts further and you will be significantly more happy than you are now.

Good luck on whatever you decide to do.

Answer 6

Dude, it is time to check out of this relationship madhouse! You admit she is a hypocrite, full of BS and constantly goes through phases. She has turned you into an emotional tampon! Time to squeeze that dry, take some time off from the relationship scene, and get a stable woman instead of emotionally challenged girls. I don't care how good the sex was, because sex doesn't cook, sex doesn't care when you get sick, sex does not a relationship make. But it is fun!

Answer 7

Marry her or leave her and find someone else. Problem solved.

If you say you respect her new found beliefs, then you will marry her if that's what it takes to sleep with her if that's important to you. If you don't really respect them and think they're a phase and that she's being unfair to you, then that's also fine, but you deserve to find soemone who is on the same plane as you and more stable. Leave her.

Answer 8

well i guess be there for her no matter what if you love her enough. people go through phases so just wait it out or adapt a little to it. If you can't have sex that doesnt mean you still cant mess around i guess. But obviously you know more about the situation and I. good luck :)

Answer 9

You no longer sound as though you are a good match. She is changing and you are not. It may be time for you to move on. I would not expect someone to stay with me if all of a sudden I wanted to stop having Sex for that reason. She needs to find someone who feels the same.

Answer 10

I would tell her that although you are glad she has used the church to work thru some of her issues that it is affecting you twos relationship and that unless some things change you'll be forced to end the relationship. No one wants or deserves to be unhappy

Answer 11

The church has rules and she's following them, but the Church also tells you that you are a human being and have flaws we all break the rules that is why they have confessions and the church also encourages you to attend often as you can so that you pray for forgiveness as God is forgiving tell this to your girlfriend, she is being to hard on herself and you, going to church does not mean you have to stop living.