Yes, I know it's normal. But it's driving me nuts. DO NOT tell me to hit him, I will not. What are some ideas to get him to stop talking back? He does very well in school, very! He's in honor choir, he's in the gifted class. At school hes a perfect child and the teachers say "Oh, you're house must be so nice and quiet." No, it's not, the boy talks back all the time. He is rude and says very adult things. Any ideas, besides hitting him? That never works.
2006-12-05 04:22:18 · 18 answers · asked by musicpanther67 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Sorry, he's 8. Talking to his teacher is NOT going to help because he acts perfect at school. The teacher's don't have to tell him anything because he does nothing wrong at school. I know because I am in constant communication with his teachers. He's perfect at school. He comes home and he's out of control. I think maybe he's tired and can't control himself. BTW in case you didn't read my OP I AM NOT HITTING MY BOY. There's no way I'm losing my child to CPS just because he back talks. And I think it's disrespectful too. I was hit my whole childhood I'm not doing that to my boy.
2006-12-05 04:30:20 · update #1
It isn't that we don't get along. We do things all the time, he just has a dirty mouth. When he started this new school he came home with a dirty mouth and started talking back. We get a long better than most, I just get tired of the rude remarks. I am not the problem, if I was the problem then I wouldn't care, I'd just let it happen.
2006-12-05 04:38:27 · update #2
Every time he does that show him that you do not appreciate the behavior by denying him some privilege.
If he is as smart as you say he is, he will understand the message.
Just be firm. Once denied, the privilege should not be restored before the already announced time.
2006-12-05 04:28:55 · answer #1 · answered by bhaiyagi 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Pay some more attention to him. He may be trying to get a rise out of you because it's the only attention he is offered. I'm not saying that is the case, it's just an idea.
Also, tell him that the way he is speaking to you is UNACCEPTABLE. It will in NO way be tolerated, at any time. Then if he persists, you begin to take away luxuries. No video games, no TV in his room, no music, no allowance, and finally no going out. Hopefully he will get the picture before he has to get grounded, but if not, that will usually work. If he's still behaving badly, consider taking him off school teams. Taking him out of the choir. Anything he enjoys should be considered.
It may also help if his father is in on the discipline. Often a boy just needs his dad to lead the way. He should tell his son that disrespecting his mother like that is wrong, and that he won't put up with it.
Hope these ideas work, good luck!
2006-12-05 12:35:05 · answer #2 · answered by Nikki 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He's only eight and he's acting like this? Backtalking usually doesnt start until they are 11 or so...where is he getting the"very adult things" from? You're the adult...tell him he may, under no circumstances talk to you like that...he must not have the same respect for you as he does other adults...he knows there would be consequences if he spoke to someone at school that way...he needs to know what the consequences are for disrepecting you and you need to follow through...There is a huuuge difference between hitting a child a disiplining a child...think about it, a child learns not to touch the stove because it hurts when you do...just like a smack on the butt will hurt when a child disobeys..this is a serious issue because it will only get worse as he gets older...you didnt mention his father, is he around? When both my boys were around 10/11 they started withthe back talking and rudeness, I swear they do it just to see if they can...they both got smacked in their mouths twice before they figured out that it wont be tolerated....
2006-12-05 12:25:17 · answer #3 · answered by ~LAX Mom~ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he's behaving at school and is getting good grades, then I would say his problem is with you. Somewhere along the line, he has learned that you are OK with him talking back and being disrespectful. Now you have to regain control of your home and of your son. Set him down and let him know that his behavior is unacceptable. Let him know that from now on, there will be harsh consequences for his actions. Take away his privileges and possessions everytime he acts up. The key is to be consistant. If you say you are going to do it, DO IT! Stand your ground and be sure both of his parents are backing each other and hold your ground. Eventually, he will settle down and grow out of his poor behavior.
2006-12-05 12:46:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how old he is. The best advice I ever received was to be consistant. Don't get mad about it sometimes and punish him and at other times let it go. That doesn't teach anything. I try not to spank. I will take things away for a while or put in my son in a time out. Taking away his favorite toys until he earns them back seems to work the best for us. Good luck. Hopefully you find something that works.
2006-12-05 12:30:58 · answer #5 · answered by Angie G 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is no easy path listening to one of your children snap back, even calling you names. Personally I have been down both roads. I have no real answer just empathy.
I also firmly beleive standing up to athority, the parent, is very important.
Keep firm, when your in the right. Bend from time to time. Children have a breaking point.
I beleive in hugs. Mine do not like them though. I wait for them to come to me. Then I tell them how much their show of affection ment to me. Keep reminding your youngster he/she is loved, although you do not like the mouthing off.
The more parents I speak to all have some dicipline, respect, issues at home. They rarely talk about it at length.
Enjoy the good moments.
2006-12-05 12:49:52 · answer #6 · answered by todaysvicechocolate 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, if you can, you need to figure out why he is talking back, just being a kid, naughty, power struggle, spoiled... Try a treat program. If hes not bad for a time, he get's to choose something you've chosen (out of a couple of items) if he;s bad, forget it. Also, remember kids are the biggest copy cats. They hear it or see it, they will try it.. Best of luck..
2006-12-05 12:30:13 · answer #7 · answered by dadknows 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
i would say that YOUR the problem. hes perfect at school hes in the choir hes in a gifted class, the teaches love him, seems no one has anything bad to say about him except you. maybe you should take a look at yourself and find out why he only doesnt get along with you.
2006-12-05 12:35:20 · answer #8 · answered by rodie5582 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
take all his privalges away to include TV ipods computer even the radio and he has to earn them back, by acting mature and if he has a cell take that awy just as well..hitting is wrong except as in exteme abuse..make him sit in his room with only books ..not even a radio..
2006-12-05 12:31:28 · answer #9 · answered by nas88car300 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
how do you figure that hitting never works? especially if you have never done it. you're wrong--about so many things. it is not normal for him to talk back to you, good grades do not equal good behaviour nor do they excuse bad behaviour, and a well-timed smack in the mouth works wonders for a mouthy kid. but you go on ahead and use your time-outs and reasoning skills, ground him and take away his playstation. i hope you like being disrespected, because that's what you're in for, at least until you get serious about the discipline. parents like you, who are too timid or sanctimonious to actually raise their children, even when it's uncomfortable and hard to do, are what's so wrong with kids these days. thanks a lot. i'm sure he's going to be a real contribution to society.
you could always send him to me, i'll smack the foul mouth right off him.
2006-12-05 12:37:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋