My boyfriend asked me last night while i was at work if I would marry him. Move in when i turn 18, and he wants a baby. We both are 17 he will be 18 in March. I will be 18 in July. We have been dating for a year in a half now. . .
Background: My b/f's mother gave up rights when he was 3. His dad had him. His dad died when he was 9. He's been in foster homes his entire life. I am all he has and all he cares for. he got into drugs, when we met i told him if he wanted to be with me he would have to quit. He's been clean for a year and a half.
I do love him and want to be with him and marry him and have a baby wit him. I told him yes. We are kind of High School Sweethearts you could say. I have a good savings fund from my g-parents. So money isn't a problem and i am an assistant manager at my job. i bring in 30thou a year not including my saving which is still getting interest as i type. he brings in the same. (est.)
Am i being immature?
2006-12-05 04:16:21 · 17 answers · asked by Fresca Jesca 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok annamarie. . . . What should I do?
KefierD. . . .I am going to go to college online and become a plebotomist. He's an assistant manager at his job as well. Plans are good. I will be a stay at home mommy until the baby is old enough to go to day care or stay with someone i trust. One baby for now. another in a couple of years. I would prefer to be married.
2006-12-05 04:24:15 · update #1
Seems logical and okay to me. I got married when i was 18 and we had no finacial stability. We were always broke and still are i'm 23 now and married almost 6 years
2006-12-05 04:20:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok this is a huge step as u know!
U must becareful as u are all he has that he is not just moving quickly to avoid losing u!!! ask him that, tell him u will stay with him no matter what anyway regardless of whether or not u live together! Tell me this DO U WANT 2 MOVE IN!? i know u love him but are u simply doing this to please him? and to prove u love him? if so u mite ruin the relationship anyway! if u ignore ur feelings! as 1 day u WILL snap! it seems that u are moving very quickly, remember u have ur WHOLE life to marry and have children! If u love each other this much why not wait a few years as that much pressure this young mite put extra strain on ur relationship! Ask him to wait a while until u accomplish a few things by urself 1st! i know u are happy with ur job and savings but remember how shifty money can be! dont u have dreams that u want to achieve before having a baby and being married- as both can be highly restrictive!
have saying that i to am in love with my own high school sweet heart! and living with him and getting married cant come soon enough....But we love each other enough to wait and let ourselves establish enough to SECURELY be happy and raise a child together so that money and work does NOT become our only common ground( also so we dont end up resenting each other for failures and unachieved dreams
i hope this helps u a little or at least gives u something to think about -good luck-
Lauren
2006-12-05 12:34:00 · answer #2 · answered by Lauren 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. If you have the doubts that have..there is something not being said. You can get engaged but take the time and dive in deep before the wedding to ensure that you are with the right person for the right reasons at the right time. Ask the hard questions, give the Honest answers and see where that ultimate truth leads you. You are young and only God knows what or who may be out there for you in the future.
2006-12-05 12:21:46 · answer #3 · answered by solomonfever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a sign of immaturity if you feel you need to rush into something as important as marriage and children, especially when you're both teenagers. You make $30 thousand a year if you're working but you won't be able to work when you have a baby, and you'll go through the savings (which you didn't earn yourself) in a matter of months.
Wait 5-6 years before having children with him.
2006-12-05 12:20:34 · answer #4 · answered by Sabine É 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can marry him if you want, but what's the rush? You don't have to get married right now. Take your time. Moving out of your house might not be a good idea, but that's up to you. About the baby, you're way too young. Enjoy life together for a while, go to school, get your career started, then think about getting pregnant.
You have the rest of your life to live the "adult" life, why rush it? It's coming sooner than you think and when/if things get rough, you're going to miss your childhood.
2006-12-05 12:22:23 · answer #5 · answered by jennytkd13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you are off to a great start....BUT PLEASE WAIT....get married move in together but remember a baby is forever they take up all your time..all your energy....live a little first...take trips go to the clubs get it out of your system. My husband had 13 siblings his dad died at age 3 and his mom put them all in foster homes then she died when he was 16. I have to say he is the best dad in the world from his experience ...BUT everyone is different. Make sure he gets a job too and puts as much financialy into the relationship as you do cause if you start out payinf for everything he will expect it forever.
2006-12-05 12:29:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you seam to have everything together
my dad was 19 when he got married and had my sister by the time he was 21.
Make sure its what you want is all i would suggest before you make a commitment, my girlfriends have kids and its alot of work...if you have kids your "futur husband" is going to have to be the one to support the 3 of you, you wont be able to do it anymore.
If anything i would suggest to just get engaged, and set the wedding date for a year from the engagement....weddings are a huge expense, my sister is getting married in aug of 07 and i've been helpin her plan the wedding....dresses are a couple thousand dollars and those are for the plain ones...that doesnt include the church, the food, the guests, the tank you cards, the hall...etc...its alot of work gettin married...and you need a house for the two of you to live in, and a room for the baby when you have that....(or apartment)...Bills are a bitchh...let me tell you :)
Good Luck whatever you decide...i wish you the best :)
2006-12-05 12:18:30 · answer #7 · answered by Lek 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the rush to get married? Just because you are financially stable doesn't mean it is the right time. Have you talked about your goals for the future...are they the same. How about how many kids, does he expect you to stay at home or work? Cautious decision making by no means is being immature.
2006-12-05 12:19:45 · answer #8 · answered by Keifer D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok.............so what is the problem? Ohhhhhhh I wouldn't have a baby so soon though. And even though you love him make sure you have some money put away that he cannot have access to just in case. I think that you are kinda young to get married but then again what do i know.
2006-12-05 12:22:58 · answer #9 · answered by Osunwole Adeoyin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you should be getting married. But, if you are having doubts you need to figure out what they are and if they are reasonable. If your doubts are reasonable then don't get married.
Are you thinking he is likely to relapse back into drugs? Good enough reason.
Do you want to continue your education and trade up to a better boyfriend? Good enough reason.
Want to have more freedom for awhile before settling down to a family? Selfish reason but you may need to do it.
2006-12-05 12:26:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋