I recently started dating a girl who is the sweet, smart, and we have much in common. The trouble is, I don't find her physically attractive in any way. She is overweight and that is not appealing to me. This is a wonderful person and I know it seems shallow but if I find it hard to even look at her naked, can this relationship survive?
2006-12-05 04:14:07 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
a relationship has several parts--personality and physical. the thing is, if you love her personality, it can work if you can overcome the fact that she is not appealing to you. Then it is love. If it were to be love, you wouldnt be asking this question.
If you are stuck on the physical aspects, then the relationship will not survive. you need to look at the inner beauty. i know that sounds cliche and cheesy, but if u want to have a relationship with this girl, then you have to see things from a different perspective, not the superficial image. A lot of people think that physical attraction is the main thing of the relationship, but it jsut sparks that feeling of nervousness and joy in seeing eachother--it makes the relationship more fun if you cant wait to see that person, you know?
hope this advice helps, and you figure out what you can do! :)
good luck!
2006-12-05 04:19:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the answer to you rquestion is NO! You need to listen to yourself and make the choice of just being her friend. If there is no physical attraction, you will never fully be able to love her. You still have choices though. You can influence her to lose the weight, join a gym and get in better shape. Do it with her, show her that you want this work and that your willing to do what it takes, if she is too. Body for Life is a good program to assist you in this venture.
Otherwise, switching to a "just friends" relationship, might prove beneficial for both of you in the long run.
2006-12-05 04:31:12 · answer #2 · answered by Dante S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad to say it won't survive but she can possibly still be your friend if you don't dump the relationship the wrong way. I cannot understand why there are so many obese girls out there today that would be absolutely knockout gorgeous if they were at all concerned about their appearance never mind the health benefits from not being obese. Maybe the Atkins diet would help. I lost 65 pounds on that diet in about 8 months.
2006-12-05 04:19:01 · answer #3 · answered by COACH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could but I think in the long run it would be very tough. Sex is an important part of a relationship. Unless you find that by focusing on the inside you are eventually attracted to the outer. However it never hurts to have good friends to count on. Not all of relationships need to be sexual.
2006-12-05 04:17:10 · answer #4 · answered by Keifer D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a friendly, platonic relationship, sure, but not as a romantic one. If you have lots in common, you can still talk and do those things, but just not "date". It's not shallow- everyone has internal mechanisms that dictate who they find appealing- maybe it's even an instinctual thing- so if you don't feel that way towards her, you can't force it, tho it's possible your feelings could change over time.
2006-12-05 04:19:29 · answer #5 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't find overweight people attractive so i would say no personally it wouldn't work for me.But you know looks can change imagine what she'd look like if she ate better and exercised. What made you want to start a relationship with her in the first place knowing fully well what she looked like. Your attracted to her personality and her mind you know looks can change
2006-12-05 04:18:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only as a friendship. You might, however, try to work on why you find a person's outside appearance more important than what is on the inside. In the end, beauty passes, bodies age, but the soul goes on.
2006-12-05 04:17:33 · answer #7 · answered by Penny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth are you dating her if you don't find her physically attractive? Sounds like you should just be friends. I don't think this can last as a relationship; it wouldn't work for me anyway.
Your other option would be to encourage her to get fit and trim down, but you're going to have to tread very carefully there.
2006-12-05 04:18:50 · answer #8 · answered by F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude that is entirely up to you. Do you want to make the relationship work? If yes get her to join the gym with you as a partner and get her into shape. If you dump her because of her appearance it will shatter her confidence and leave her with a big complex.
If you don't want to go through all that trouble then you need to do what you need to do.
2006-12-05 04:22:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if youre going to start a relationship with someone and be serious about it youre going to have to like EVERYTHING about them... the good and the bad unfortunately. when you love somebody you love them for all that they are and there isnt any 'buts' about it. if you dont like the fact that shes overweight, help her. start an exercise program with her, maybe try eating healthier with her... something! her weight can change but if you like whats on the inside, she'll always be beautiful!! im sure she didnt try to become overweight on purpose... never judge a book by its cover...
2006-12-05 04:22:38 · answer #10 · answered by ashkro 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋