Seriously! One would think that these people would have enough insight to realize that perhaps they're too ill-tempered and angry to deal well with children.
2006-12-05 04:01:26 · 27 answers · asked by tangerine 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
There are many reasons. Whatever the reason is...they had the child. Some honestly think that since they are older that will not turn out like their parents and can break the cycle...unfortunately that doesn’t always happen. Some think that parenting just comes natural, that they don't have to learn how to parent differently since they grew up in an abusive environment.
I grew up with divorced parents, and unfortunately was always treated as the Cinderella of the family...the ugly step child. I knew the right from wrong, but really had no voice. Three abusive step moms and 2 abusive stepdads later....her I am. I grew up, I came to terms with my child hood (although I can hardly remember most of it) and I am now the proud parent of 2 awesome boys...they are by far not perfect angels...and yes I find myself almost slipping back into what my step parents did...yelling, spanking and such....then I realize it and take a step back to calm down. I knew I had issues and learned how to deal with them better. Now I can take things in stride and don’t take things so serious.
No one really knows what kind of parent they will be until they are one and yes unfortunately sometimes it’s too late by then and they don't listen to reason. In the end the kids pay for it...it’s a sad truth and reality. They could be normal adults, but when you add the stresses of parenting to their normality...they loose it and the abusive side that they grew up with comes out and the kids are the ones that receive it.
2006-12-05 05:11:44 · answer #1 · answered by Get_R_Done_n_Dallas 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think alot of times abuse or the phsycial violence expressed by the abuser is often not triggered until they are put in a highly stressful situation. Often, this is viewed during the parenting and rasing of children, for children themselves are a stressful and trying task. The root cause of abuse is anger. I think its like a disease and can be hereditary even. Anger has often been linked to stress, anxiety, and even depression! So I think that some people like others with various other problems ex: drug issues and etc. don't know that they have a problem until its triggered. Just a thought however. Check out my source.
2006-12-05 04:37:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Basic contradiction in your question - abusive & insight -
news flash, they have no insight . . . they function & breed off of hormones. Their dysfunctional brain has no control over their behaviors. Why do you think so many people wish we could put birth control in the drinking water and make people prove their compentancy to care for children BEFORE we give them the antidote.
BUT, dogmatic religions oppose any birth control so we are doomed to have a society with huge numbers of abused kids. Too bad religious authorities care more about their power than kids.
2006-12-05 04:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by kate 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
most of the time, it is a mistake. also, the more children they have, the more money they get from welfare. that may not be the answer to your question but that is what i see you know... i have a friend who was trying to get pregent, they would be WONDERFUL parents. one is a nurse at a children hospital, and the other works at the local casino boat and is a high ranker. they are the best people in the world. and they both cant have kids, but the ones that abuse the children can have as many as they want(or dont want) that's not right!!!
2006-12-05 04:06:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A lot of child abuse comes from unrealistic expectations of behavior for children. The concept of age-appropriate behavior completely does not enter their heads. They had children originally because they had expectations of getting love and admiration for being a parent. When this pretty picture looks off, as it will in a real household, they blame the child.
They believe that their children are deliberately not meeting their demands for learning or behavior or work. Some of this lack of understanding may come from weak empathy, being badly raised themselves, or ignorance.
2006-12-05 04:22:32 · answer #5 · answered by oohhbother 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sex is stress relief for most, and its hard to believe - but usually ill-tempered people tend to have sex more than others. Even though a child is the end result, they usually are not planned very well. But with all the laws these days, most will just hope the child will make them calm down.
2006-12-05 04:07:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is a good question. Most people who are raised in a abusive home turn out to be abusers. It's like it's the only thing they know and since that's how they were raised they think it's ok, just a thought.
2006-12-05 04:05:52 · answer #7 · answered by Curious J. 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your question was "Why..." Some things do not have answers. We all live in the same world. We can choose to make a difference or to be silent. If a child is being abused call your area child abuse phone number and report it. It is the least you could do.
2006-12-05 04:20:18 · answer #8 · answered by todaysvicechocolate 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people don't even bother to think about it.. they just have them cause it's what they're expected to do or because they think it will be cute. It drives me wild that you need a license for a dog but ANYONE can reproduce. Doesn't seem right....
2006-12-05 04:29:05 · answer #9 · answered by ♪ ♫Jin_Jur♫ ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why but I wish there was a law that before you could leave the hospital with your baby you had to go through a bunch of tests or something that way they can see if you are fit to be a good parent.
2006-12-05 04:09:32 · answer #10 · answered by $$$$$$ 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋